HIS DOLL

37- Eternal Hatred

What a cruel punishment I had received for one slap...

'I feel so stupid for giving into his charms. Why did I make myself believe that I could hold a higher place? It was all his plan to deceive me.'

He wanted me to submit to him.

Sitting on the ground with overwhelming pain growing inch by inch inside me, I had fallen into a daze. Locked in this room with nothing left for me to do.

Agonized, I didn't know whether to curse him or myself for falling into this deception and ruining myself. Dried tears stayed. I didn't know how to look at my reflection even in the mirror.

"I told you- You will regret the path you have chosen."

Lifting my gaze, I saw Akram there, he was frowning at me. My lips began to shake, curling my hands in a fist.

I didn't know what happened to me that I kept going in that immoral direction and for what? To let it shatter me only to realize what I considered a home turned out to be a nightmare.

"Yes, I am a cold blooded murder but you were not." He exhaled, offering me a glass of water.

My tears brimmed again. His eyes judging me for my actions, they always did and today he only had disappointment.

"What have I done, Akram?"

My voice broke, clutching the glass of water with both hands. The agony inside me was augmenting and I saw no escape from it.

"You knew I was not the first woman he kept, you knew he was taking advantage of my emotionally vulnerable state." I whispered in agony.

He always knew it was manipulation, he must be laughing behind my back. He must be making fun of me for being so hopeless to take the hand of the man who killed my fiancé.

"So? What could it change? I follow orders."

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. I guess Zaviyaar ordered him to keep an eye on me so I won't do anything again.

"Am I ever going to be forgiven for my mindless actions?"

Raking my fingers in my hair, an internal groan left me, gritting my teeth in dejection and while I was fighting with my emotions, Akram enunciated my guilt.

"It was not mindless, Aalifa. You knew what you were doing was wrong, you went on that path yourself. You always knew this was illicit. You choose it yourself."

My heart clenched with inexplicable grief. Shutting my eyes, I hugged my knees to my chest. I couldn't decline, I truly knew it was all wicked still I continued.

"Are you realizing now that you were never special? That you could never take Madam Saira's place." He scoffed, stabbing me with those statements.

"Stop it, please..."

Looking at him, with my exhausted gaze, I shook my head. He looked at me for the next few seconds, wanting to show some compassion but it was futile.

"Are you happy with the choices you have made all your life?"

Creating another heartbreaking statement, his steps retreated, walking out of the room, leaving me all alone in my suffering.

"No... no... no..."

He was right, these were my choices, my regret, my wrongdoings. I became stubborn that if everyone considered me shameless, I would become.

My anger from this world burned me.

"Fuck!" Cursing, I slammed my hand down.

Not wanting to spend a second in this hell. The sound of that gunshot was still ringing in my ears.

It was all my fault but I won't let that grief consume me anymore.

"I won't let it end here."

I will make him pay for every pain he has given me. From killing Asim to my Father, he would pay for everything.

I won't accept defeat this easily.

I did my prayer, constantly asking for forgiveness, repenting for my stupidity and stayed in the room until the man I last wanted to see entered.

Ignoring his presence, I went to take a shower to empty my mind. Not bothering to acknowledge his existence.

"Aalifa..." He called in a lowered tone.

If a month had passed since I lost my Father that didn't mean it had lowered my grief.

He appeared before me and placed his hand on my shoulder, resenting his grip on me, I pushed him back with a growl.

"Don't touch me, you monster."

"For how long are you going to resist? Do you think that would help you?" He frowned.

"After killing the people I love, after manipulating me, hurting me, caging me here. How do you expect any softness from me, even in acting?" I hissed.

None of his words would affect me anymore, I would never forgive him for ruining me, for leading me to this miserable point.

"Where were these words before?" He hissed back.

His audacity to expect anything from me was ridiculous.

"I strayed. I was blind. Now I am not and have seen you are nothing but a liar who can go too far for his desires." I muttered, maintaining as much distance as possible from him.

A hint of sadness flashed, indicating my words might have affected his cruel core but like hell I would believe in those eyes again.

"You must be laughing behind my back to know how much of an easy prey I was, right?" I chuckled dryly, grabbing the pillow from the bed as I won't share a bed with him.

I was about to leave from the room furiously but he grabbed my arms hopelessly, narrowing his eyes, holding a glimpse of yearning I hadn't seen before.

"I... wanted you and I accept I went beyond all my boundaries to make you submit to me. I am your sinner." He whispered, accepting the corruption he induced in me.

"And I would never forgive you for it. Never."

Not sparing a drop of compassion, I pulled myself roughly, giving him a look of disgust, I walked out, going to the other room.

"Stop it, Aalifa. I told you before, your resistance would only damage you-"

He went after me, thinking I would be intimidated by him again but at this point, he had murdered my feelings. Nothing was affecting me, everything felt cold and hollow.

"Or what huh?" Hissing, I glared at him while pointing my finger contemptibly to warn him to not take another step towards me.

"Don't." He growled, slamming his hand on the wall, glaring back at me.

"What are you going to do? Here I am, do whatever the fuck you want." Smirking, I came closer, challenging him.

"Stop it,"

"You have forced me before too, force me into submission now too. You have already killed me from inside, how do you expect an empty soul to react?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes while he gave me that pitiful expression again.

Shredding pity for me.

Where was that when he ordered his man to kill my Father? What was the point of it after agonizing me beyond repair?

"You have become crazy from depression." He softened his tone but his acting won't work on me now.

"I didn't see that depression stopping you before." I smirked emptily, causing him to lower his gaze in sorrow.

Retreating my steps, I decided to make a statement before leaving that could pierce his soul to induce a small portion of my raze in him too

"You are a soulless creature in the end after all, Zaviyaar Sheikh,"