KICK IT | JENLISA

134

Lisa

She didn't actively seek out attention, but her inner strength and giving spirit drew people to her. Her pushing for a day-care and spousal support program within the rehab centre gave a voice to people I hadn't considered. "She's an incredible spirit, Lisa." were my mother's actual words. She is, which was why I was ecstatic after she and Indigo moved in. They filled the holes of silence in my house.

Fuck, half my teammates joked that if I didn't wife Jennie up by this season's end, then they would. Those act-first, results-now idiots didn't value the power of patience. Some hearts, like mine, leaped all in, no matter the fallout from tethering themselves to those they picked. Blind loyalty and trust blindsided me with details that I'd ignored in my life.

I should've slowed down, exercised patience, and paid more attention to what was relevant – protecting and supporting the people that I cared about, not materialistic bullshit that self-serviced my ego. Accepting today's value, breath by breath, was a better direction for my moral compass.

Jennie taught me that.

When Jennie admitted that her fractured heart had to learn how to love again, mine broke for her. She wasn't a project or a work in progress, as she believed, but a person who needed to take her life one day at a time.

Most days were fantastic, but some were difficult. That was life, part of which involved experiencing death. Pain and grief from losing a loved one was crippling process. Death was cruel and unforgiving. Chosen death left ripple effects, crushing the hearts of those behind.

Jennie would always carry her pain and guilt from its source, but life didn't revolve in circles of perfection. When love wasn't enough, the soul-wrenching pain of death had the power to strike deeper than any physical injury. Invisible but permanent scars on hearts and minds could be dulled over time but never removed.

Loving someone unconditionally wasn't easy. It was strapping someone's feelings to your heart, absorbing them as yours, and appreciating the positive and negative. Jennie dealt with setbacks and darkness, but I was at her side as she stepped through it. In her heart, there will always be a little space for Taehyung, which I respected. As long as she also made room for me in there, that was enough.

Some days she leaped forwards. On others, she stumbled back. That was her life, which meant it was also mine. As she said in her meditation quotes, life was a balance of holding on and letting go, but we could only step forward by letting patience and forgiveness walk hand-in-hand.

Lucky for us, we had plenty of time to practice. Forever, in fact.

-- THE END --