KICK IT | JENLISA

45

Jennie

No words could express how much Lisa's gesture to fix the truck meant to me. My mouth opened and closed so many times driving to her mechanic's garage, but the words stuck in my raw throat.

The interior of Lisa's car was suffocating. Black-tinted windows made it a cave, and her tall frame left no room to breathe. Her musky perspiration, which should have flattered me because she got a workout in class, burned my nose. The pronounced veins on her forearm thickened the fog clogging my brain. Tracing the ridges on the back of her hand as she clutched the shift was better than studying her profile, the small uplift in the corner of her mouth, or the way her shirt sleeves moulded to her shoulder as she drove.

Dial it back, Jennie. I was no better than her Thirsty Thelmas if I left a puddle on her leather seat. I didn't breathe until she pulled into her garage but shook my head at the keys her hand extended. "It's too much. Lisa, I can't accept this."

"And I can't accept you having no transportation." She pressed her keys into my palm with the same insistence in her voice. "Borrow it until yours is fixed."

I dipped my chin to my chest. "I'll pay you back, I promise."

Lisa's generosity almost unhinged my jaw. She didn't know why my truck was so important, only that it was. Her kindness dissolved some of the aches crippling my heart. The smile she flashed when I pulled back from monkey-hug-mauling her returned. It made me want to explain the truck's significance, but I... couldn't. The sensations choking my throat wouldn't let me admit the truth.

"I hate this." I whispered. Ugly, fat, rolling tears trailed in continuous streams down my cheeks. Sniffling the congestion clogging my nose, I swallowed. An invisible fist punched through my chest walls, gripped my heart like a vice, and ripped it out. A giant, gaping hole was left in its place.

I braced myself for today. We spent every minute together, cherishing each other's company, divulging dirty secrets, fucking hard, and avoiding sleep. But, now that it was here, time became cruel, stealing him from me. How selfish. "I'm sorry, Tae." His thumbs dragged over my eyes. "This is tough enough on you, I'm being..."

"Don't say selfish." Leaning over, he pressed his lips to my forehead. I inhaled, drawing as much breath of his scent as my nose held. I didn't want to exhale it, ever. At home, I needed to douse our bed in his cologne.

"You're being real, Jennie. I always want to know your thoughts. I'm going to miss you so fucking much."

I couldn't say the words, 'Don't go' because they were an impossible, and selfish wish. Never had I desired one more day, or one more hour.

A large hand clapped Taehyung's shoulder. Dark-skinned fingers squeezed his new teardrop insignia. "Duty calls, Private Kim."

"Let him say goodbye." Another departing soldier, a tall, fair-skinned man with a square jaw, flashed me a sympathetic smile. "See you on board."

"Hooah." Taehyung grinned at his fellow servicemen dragging the other away by the shoulders. His eyes softened at me. "Try to get to know Irene until I'm back this time, okay?"

"Doesn't make it easier." I whimpered, wiping my leaky faucet eyes. Three and four months were miserable, but eight months was a lifetime away.

His fingers curled around a lock of my hair, holding up the blunt ends. "Ladybug, is this new? I like it."

"I'm not cutting it until you come home." I gripped him, tears dotting his green camouflage. Trembles shook my spine, drawing Taehyung's arms tighter around me. "So, come home to me."

"I'll do all I can." Taehyung promised again, clutching me harder. Shaking, I clung to his chest and squeezed out more tears.

"One last thing." His movements shuffled, and the jingle of his keys opened my eyes. "Take care of her."

"Your first love." I rolled my eyes, curling my fingers around the metal, smooth and warm from his pocket. I dragged my tears with the back of my hand and sniffled. "Can't believe you still have that heap of junk. It's one pothole from the engine block falling out."

"Don't hate on her. You're my last love, Ladybug." Both his hands cupped around mine, bracketing my face. Leaning down, his lips met mine in a slow, languid kiss. Moving in slow, gentle presses, he mapped my skin, memorising it and savouring the taste.

Or maybe that was just me.

"I insist." Lisa's voice snapped me out of my mind.

The sting of tears burned my eyes. "Thanks."

A weighted, uncomfortable silence hung between us, with me wiping my face and her rubbing the back of her neck. With one more whispered thanks, I got in her truck and cried myself home. Irene and Jackson shared the same concerned look from their living room movie, but I rushed past, slamming the door and quitting life for the rest of today. And tomorrow.