Don't Stay, Don't Go (Ben Drowned Love Story)

Ch. 39

[Tim/Masky's POV]
"Alright come on." I stand up and stretch, it must have at least been an hour and a half. The clock on the wall confirms my suspicion.
Ben is very close to her face, just looking down at her softly. With two fingers he gently moves her hair out of her face and smiles. He doesn't react to my voice, so I sigh and roll my eyes.
"You better not be here when she wakes up Ben." He looks up at me and smiles.
"Thank you."
"Yea yea." I wave goodnight and make my way back to my room. I don't think we'll have much luck persuading the Operator to take Liz home, so once she is situated I'll turn in these papers.
[Ben's POV]
By ignoring Masky, he lets me stay by Liz longer. I thank him as he leaves, and turn back to her slumbering figure. She really did need some sleep, her eyes look like someone punched her, and she's always yawning. This might be good for her, sleeping with the aid of a powerful sedative.
I can't believe she likes me. I would have had no clue, I thought her jumpyness at my touch was because she doesn't get touched often. Plus, she likes Gus. She seamed fine at the time, but was his rejection part of this outburst? Ill kill him if it was.
Was this what Liz meant by don't hurt him? She knows me better than I thought, although she got the timing wrong.
I sit on the floor by the head if the bed, and hold one of her hands that happens to be hanging over the edge of the mattress. I sigh and play with her fingers, trying to make sense of whatever this mess was.
"You know, if you held your tongue I would have never believed Masky." I whisper, although she can't hear my words. "I know you hate me, but I hope you were just saying that. It would suck if our roles were switched, wouldn't it?" I sigh and shake my head. "Your so smart. Did you do this on purpose? Your smart, you can't possibly think your stupid or that you scare anyone. They must be afraid of your passion," what am I even saying right now? "You go 100% or nothing. Although I'm sure you can get over yourself. You never stick to the same thing for long... You don't have to be strong all the time. No one can be strong for that long. It's alright to feel things, and it's alright to cry. You know, I've been watching you for a long time and I've never seen you cry before now. Not when anyone rejected you, and not when you talked about dying. Your eyes hardly watered when you tried to cry at the mall modeling class. And I know you were thinking about everyone you knew dying in the worst possible way. I feel like such a douche for making you cry." I feel shame at myself flood my body. "I hope when you wake up you'll forgive me." I glance at the clock, which tells me it's nearing three in the morning. "I don't understand you. When you tell anyone you like them you say you want to be with them, but you can't stand being anyones but your own. I get that you think a relationship will cut off your freedom, but it doesn't have to... Although I guess you would see any sort of freedom that way as a gift that could be taken away... I wouldn't, just so you know. If you wanted you could do anything you want. But what am I thinking, you hate me." I sigh again. I should probably leave for the night. I stand up, letting go of Elizabeth's warm hand. I take one last look at her unconscious body before smiling to myself. I lean down, put her hair behind her ear, and give her a soft kiss on her jawline. I quietly slip out of the room and walk to my own, leaving the light on for her. "Goodnight Liz."