Don't Stay, Don't Go (Ben Drowned Love Story)

Ch. 20

Who writes like that? Well just Slenderman, Tim, and Brian I think. Why would they give me this? Well... Tim was there when I ate my first heart. Did Tim give this to me? I should ask him... God DAMMIT! The only way I can talk to anyone is to get Ben. First, there's no guarantee I can find him. Second, I'm still trying to not talk to him. Third, I still like him.
I have no clue what to do about that. Normally, I tell my friends and they find a way to make me tell them. I told them I liked Gus and they zapped me... Then tried to tell him on the bus for me. Not fun to put your music in and try not to hear your life falling apart. I think Gus is afraid of me. He doesn't sit next to me on the bus anymore. I wait in my seat to see if he will come but, even though there's never anyone there, he won't sit next to me. But I guess I can still try anyway.
All that energy and passion I put into him has to go somewhere. Why change it?
But back to the thing at hand. I can't talk to them, I don't have a way to contact them without Ben. And what's in the bottle? I grab if delicately. I shake it lightly, there is definitely something inside. I twist the cap off. Almost instantly, I feel nauseated. Definitely blood. Masky, I'm pretty sure it's him, why? Just why? My room smells of blood, that's not good. If my dad came in he would think I cut myself or something. He already thinks I'm depressed.
I have to air out this room. As much as I love the warm atmosphere, I open the window and put the fan on. That should make the smell go away,... However pleasant it was...
I grab the bag and think, do I have to refrigerate this? The bag is cold and my first was refrigerated. Probably. Well there is no way I can just waltz downstairs, go into the kitchen, and put this in. Like "oh I'm just gunna save this for later, don't mind the human body part in the fridge dad." That will totally work out (obvious sarcasm).
What else can I do with this? I can't leave it here. I can't take it anywhere. I can't sell out the Pastas and tell the police. There is one thing I could do... I open the bag and take another sniff.
Yep. Still intoxicating. Should I? I take a small bite, and smile. It's just like I remember. Sweet and melty. It doesn't even hurt my lips to much. I finish it quickly, so my dad can't find it, and lick the bag clean. Then I grab some trash, so it's not suspicious, and through all the trash in the trash can. My dad is down here watching a basketball game, as normal.
"Hey can you take those out?" He motions to the bags of trash by the door.
"Yea. Hold on." I grab the bags and take them outside to the dumpster. I walk back to our house and stop for a second. That was not there before... A bottle of pills? I pick them up and put them in my pocket. Should I tell dad? I don't think so. I walk upstairs with them and set them on my nightstand. These look like Tim's. I guess there's only one way to know. I open it up and take one out. I really am I child, I put everything in my mouth. I take the pill, yep this is Masky's.
I can't have these. As much as I don't want to deal with this right now, I can't have these. I sneak into my dads room and under the bed, then take out my laptop and iPod touch. I haven't used these in a few days out of fear that Ben would come for me. Ah technology, how I've missed you. I boot up my laptop and sigh.