31: slipping

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Joshua came back with a dried pumper the next day. I didn't sleep all night. I just cried and cried. I missed Will. I needed him.

"Here is your jumper, I hope it wasn't too cold last night, I see you didn't wear the jumper I gave you." He placed the jumper down at the foot of my bed, taking the one I didn't even acknowledging. I didn't move. "Did you even sleep last night. Your gard mentions that you were quietly sniffling all night." I didn't spill a word. I was done with telling them to go away. They don't listen and now I had nothing to say to him. "That medicine is coming in later today, I give it to you when it comes." He was trying so desperately to make convocation but he might as well have been talking to a wall, I didn't move. "Look." He placed his hand on my upper thigh I flinched and pushed his hand away. "Sorry." He mumbled. "What you think you know about vampires is all wrong. Your daddy has done horrific things before."

I tried speaking to defend Will but when I attempt to create the words there was nothing so I just stayed quiet and pulled the blanket up to my face. I felt like shit. Joshua sighed and left me alone standing outside.

This would happen days to come the same thing over and over. Every morning Joshua would enter the room try to talk to me and I wouldn't answer, eventually he would leave and only come in with food. He was instructed to not force me, stating I would eat eventually. Everytime I would kick it into the dirt. Every night he and the "Alpha" would attempt to get me to talk. Whenever I had my voice I would be screaming. Usually at night making sure everyone heard. I know the alpha was getting complaints about it. It's been about three weeks of this happening. I haven't been little this whole time. They've been forcing me to eat food since last week. The alpha thought it would have only taken a few days, he didn't expect weeks. I would sleep all day and never leave the bed. I don't think my legs would work even if I wanted them to.

"Face it pup. Your daddy is dead. Either that or he's just not looking." I face away. He had the medicine for my throat. The alpha requested he not give it to me, but I needed it in his eyes. I would scream until my throat was bleeding and I was throwing up. He felt obliged to look after me. "You need to eat more. Would your daddy enjoy the knowledge that you're starving yourself."

"He doesn't enjoy the fact that I'm not with him." Joshua's been trying to get me into my headspace alot lately. He's been babying me, using "little one" and "little pup" alot more. Bringing up the word daddy. He's attempted feeding me mush with the aeroplane tactics, I threw the mush right in his eye.

"Little pup, he doesn't care. He's a vampire, vampires don't have feelings. They live hundreds of thousands of years seen and done everything under the sun. They kill and feel no mercy for it." He tried to explain. Rihanna entered the room giving a sippy up to Joshua, they tried a bottle before but I just opened it and threw it on the ground. He handed me the sippy cup, I tried opening it but it wouldn't budge. "Drink it." He ordered. I threw the sippy cup at him glaring. He took a breath obviously getting a little annoyed at this point, I'm surprised it took so long.

"Go away." I demanded. He grabbed the back of my neck, I was sleep deprived and weak so I never fought back at this point.

"Drink. The. Milk." He placed the sippycup up to my mouth. I listened to him and drank. He let go of my neck and replaced his hands with mine. I hated doing this, I gets hard to not slip in this condition. "Listen little one." I glared at him. "You have to slip eventually."

"Thats what your father said with the food. And the sleep. And the leaving and yet non of it has been that voluntary has it?" I kept drinking. Trying to finish it as fast as possible. He pulled the drink out of my mouth.

"Slow down. You'll throw up." I haven't changed my clothes. He'll take one item and wash it then give it back the next morning. He brought me a new packet of underwear though knowing I would never let him have them. I've been burning them in the fire when they get gross.

"can I drink now?" I ask, in the drink was vitamins, they were making sure I wouldn't die. Hoping that I am just brainwashed. Thinking I will just snap out of it.

"Drink slow." He allowed. I drank a little. He's been sitting in here a while. He basically refused to leave.

"My d- uh... Will will find me and destroy all of you. I swear." I finished the drink and threw it at Joshua.

"You need to stop it with that." He placed the drink down. "And it's okay if you slip. It's been three weeks. If you like being little, than be little. No ones going to hurt you, or judge you. Go on, slip, I'll look after you." He assured grabbing some of the untouched toys that were on the floor.

"I'm not slipping because of you. If Will was here I would. I hate you and I don't want you to look after me." I was getting heated and angry. My emotions have been everywhere, but I consider them all to be valid. "I don't need you." I try to kick him off but even if I was at full strength I couldn't do it, let alone starved, dehydrated and sleep deprived. He held my legs down and I began freaking out. Sometimes he would get really angry when im punching and kicking him and he will hold on a little too tight.

"I'm not going to hurt you. But you do need to slip, sleep or eat real food. Your daddy would want you to be healthy." I tried to get my feet back.

"MY DADDY WOULD WANT ME BACK!" I screamed out before coughing some blood up.

"Dont scream little pup. It only hurts."

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