𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕣'𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕥 // Tengen Uzui x reader (+18)

Chapter 46 | The cycle of sun and moon

The scream erupts from your lungs as soon as Shin is out of sight. You ignore Makio and immediately run to the spot where Shin was seconds ago.
You take a glimpse over the edge. The deep chasm lurks below and waits for every foolish creature to stand too close to the edge. A humanoid being falls right into it. Fire covers it. Smithereens of fabric swirl around it.
Your heart and brain alarm you in synchrony.
Without hesitation you jump as well.

You immediately fall over, facing the depth. The wind catches your hair and clothes. It pulls on you and tears flow from your face. Your eyes burn so does Shin. The reason for it differs. There's nothing left of the beauty you just witnessed. The sun showed his cruel side.

You reach out your hand, despite the distance, hoping to catch Shin - or rather what's left of him. You clench your teeth as if it would speed you up. Seconds. You jumped after him seconds later. Still that will be enough time to seperate you from him forever. The gigantic chasm - it must have been a mine at some point - keeps coming closer. If you dont act now you will collide head on with the stone and your will split into blood and brain mass. It's the hope to still be able to save Shin that makes you draw your katanas. It's the hope to cover him up in time that makes life still worth it. You try not to look at his flame covered face. On the other hand you're grateful for not having to see his pain.
Crossing your katanas you prepare to dodge the impact of gravity as the chasm closes its mouth around you.
Fortunately you don't fall right into the middle where it's deepest. The stone ground rushes to you and you flex every muscle while mentally wishing you goodbye.
Then you hit the ground.
Pain strikes through your bones. Every part of your body howls as your bones try not to split in two. You scream. Not merely because of the pain.
Your legs are numb and shake. Your arms are numb, too. Mainly your eyes can move and look for your brother.
After a few minutes you are able to move your feet. You have no idea if you broke a bone. There's nothing but numbness in your body. The only part that isn't numb is your heart. Hissing, you endure the most terrible pain you've ever felt. Setting one foot after another you try to walk into the direction were you expect Shin.
You call his name with a hoarse voice. Once, twice - no answer.
All your eyes can find are rocks, stones, planks, broken buckets, tools and lizards. You limp through the chasm, not daring to look up. You don't want to know how awful it will be to get out of here. If there is an exit at all.
"Shin", you sob again.
You're quivering. Only then you realize how cold it is in here. You nearly forgot winter is coming.

A piece of purple fabric catches your attention. You stumble forward and crawl between two rocks. They leave scratches on your shoulders and arms but you don't care.
Your heart is racing.
Your breathing is uneven.

What you find on the other side puts your mouth agape. The flower of hope in your heart immediately withers and dies. There's Shin, not burning anymore.
The sun must be hidden behind the clouds. Right in this moment the rain starts again. You laugh at the irony.
FUCK YOU, CLOUDS! FUCK YOU, SUN!

With your damaged body you crawl towards the purple kimono. Colorful liquid and broken glass is spread everywhere around it.
You get closer even though there's nothing to investigate.
The kimono is empty and most of it turned into ashes the rain is now beginning to wash away. So did Shin.
With shaking hands you reach for the kimono and pull it closer, hoping to find Shin under it shouting surprise shawty!
"Shin", you whisper.
Nothing is left of him. Those few seconds of being exposed to the sun were enough to erase your brother's life.
"Shin", you whisper again and squeeze the kimono.
Not a single strain of hair is left.
Your brother died in an instant. He committed suicide because he knew that in this world where demons are demons, no matter what, he wouldn't get the chance to have a joyful, fair life. He knew that he wouldn't win. Maybe he would have won the fight today but he wouldn't have won in life.
And all of this because of Tokito-san and Tengen-san. All of this because Oyakata-sama gave them the order to look for him. All of this because Shin wanted to talk to you.
He wanted to talk to you because you hadn't talked to him for months. Why? Because you were scared and ashamed.
Scared that Tengen-san would find out.
Ashamed because you let Shin wait so long and wanted to prove to Oyakata-sama that you had changed. Which you didn't.

The realization slowly hits you and you can't control the weeping.
Shin's dead.
No more venom-investigations in some abandoned house.
No more training and hunting.
No more picking lavender in the moonlight.
No more secret laughter and talking.
No more holding together and vowing to get out of this shit.
No more family.

After all this years, after the loss of your whole family, house and peaceful future...
Shin was the reason you became a demon slayer. To be able to protect and understand him. To find loopholes.

What does that mean now?

For the first time in your life you truly are alone. Abandoned with nothing but your katanas and knowledge.
And for the first time you don't know what to do, how to live on.

The tears start flowing down your cheeks and you squeeze Shin's kimono so tight you wouldn't be surprised if it became one with your own kimono.
You bend over to stop the pain in your heart. It's nearly tearing you apart.
He didn't even have the time for some last words.

"SHIIIINNNNN!!!!", you scream out of the bottom of your lungs as the realization and pain eventually kicks in.
You're pretty sure the whole world heard it.

You can hear the flapping of wings and the croaking of crows as they rise from the trees on the cliff.

Your screams and cries join the roaring of the rain. They accompany the returning sun and the following sunset. All the memories flow through your tears.
Your voice is gone soon but the whimpers and tears keep coming. Your body starts hurting everywhere, leaving you paralyzed on the ground.

No one tried to stop you from jumping. No one tried to save your life.
No one cared.
You were naive enough to think that at least Tengen-san would have done something. Anything.
All he did was warning you that he wouldn't.

With the ending cycle of the sun the dread and pain in your heart turns into wrath. It doesn't dry your tears but it gives you strength to move again, to look for a way out of here.

With wet cheeks and hatred in your eyes you make a decision. Still limping you look up for the first time. It's a starry night with a crescent moon announcing the beginning of her new cycle. No clouds bedeck the sky.