33. Jona

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"I knew there were a whole lot of beautiful fish in the sea, but I did not realise it would be this beautiful." I tell Lando excitedly, as I climb back on the yacht after snorkeling. Handing my snorkeling gear to Charlotte so she and Charles can go in.

"You're adorable, but yes it was really beautiful to see." Lando answers, a bright smile on his face.

Max hands me a towel, and I quickly dry myself off a bit. Before taking a seat on the front of the boat next to Kelly. Leaving Max and Lando to socialise a bit as well.

"You and Lando are adorable." Kelly says as I sit next to her.

"So are you and Max. I love your little banter." I tell her making her laugh.

We chat a bit about little things, before we reach the topic about Penelope. Kelly's daughter.

"She asked me last week if Max was her dad or Daniil was." Kelly tells me, and I can tell she's actually struggling with it.

"What did you say?" I ask her, genuinely curious to her answer. I've seen her with Penelope, she's such a wonderful mom.

"I told her that Daniil is her dad and that Max could be her dad if she wanted him to be as well." Kelly tells me making my heart swell.

"What did she say?"

"She told me she would very much like Max to be her daddy. She then ran up to Max asking him if he wanted to be her daddy." Kelly explains. "Max got bright red, but of course couldn't refuse the offer."

We both laugh at the story she just told. It's such a beautiful story. We talk a bit more, before Charlotte joins us as well and we start talking about family some more. I let Kelly and Charlotte talk mostly, not wanting to elaborate on the fact that my mom's gone.

"So what about your family?" Charlotte asks. "Charles told me your father was at the last race?"

I swallow hard. I don't like talking about this topic.

"Yes he was, it was awesome to show him a bit of Lando and my life in F1." I tell them.

"Your mom didn't want to come?" Kelly asks, sadness must be apparent on my face, because she immediately recovers. "It's okay you don't have to talk about it."

I sigh, trying my best to keep my emotions at bay. But they've both been so honest with me, I can't help but feel confident enough to share with them.

"She passed away after a car accident 8,5 years ago." I say sniffing a bit. Charlotte puts her arms around me for comfort.

"I'm so sorry." Kelly says apologetically, but the tears just keep coming. You would think that after eight years of therapy, I'd be fine talking about it. But as my therapists says: let your emotions out, it's better than keeping them in.

Charlotte's still rubbing her hand over my upper arm, her arm tightly around me. As she lets me cry a bit. Through my sobs I tell them all about the accident. And how it sometimes keeps on coming back to me.

"Girls are you ready for dinner?" Charles asks from the other side of the yacht, but Kelly tells him off. Charles makes his way to where we're sitting, but when he sees me crying, he immediately turns around.

"Go check in on her." I hear Charles say to Lando, who's quick to my side.

"Hey," He says calmly, taking a seat on my other side. His arm replacing Charlotte's. I put my head against his chest, sobbing a bit more. Before deciding that I don't want to be crying anymore. "It's okay if you need to let it out some more." Lando says, his hands making circles on my back.

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