Justin's POV
I barely slept. I spent all night holding her tight, replaying her words in my mind.
I thought about her behavior over the past months, the months we spent together before she decided to go back to school, the countless times she got drunk and talked about how she was tired, all the comments she made.
I thought about how ever since she moved here she never has time for me, but besides that, the fact that she never shared anything personal anymore. She just asks about me when we talk, or talk about silly things. She never says how she's truly feeling, never talks about these sort of frustrations.
Also, I couldn't stop thinking about how much she has changed over time. When we first met she was the brightest person i know, she was happy, I can't help but assume I corrupted her. I've turned her this way.
She has adopted my old behavior and customs. All the things she once hated so much.
I looked down at her, who was still sound asleep in my chest, her lips were parted and I could hear some light snoring. She must be extremely tired, she rarely snores.
I don't know what to do. Is school that bad? If so, why did she quit music?
Is it me? Am I the root of all her problems? Would she be better off if I walked away?
I sighed and softly kissed the top of her head.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep some more as i held her.
Charlotte's POV
I woke up abruptly due to some dream I had, I had failed all my classes in it, and the anxiety i felt made me jump up.
My heart had accelerated, I was feeling just as I did in my dream. It was horrible.
I broke free of Justin's arms and walked out of the room to get some air.
I hate this feeling. I had never experienced it before, not when I had finals in high school, not when I was performing with Justin, not when I sang... It was new.
I got myself a cup of water and sat down in the kitchen, putting my head down on the table.
"Charlotte?" I heard Justin's voice come from the hall.
I felt him wrap his arms around my waist, and I lifted my head so I could see him.
"What happened?" He asked as he rested his chin on my shoulder.
Maybe if I squeezed him I'd feel better.
I pushed him off before getting up from my chair, and then went for his arms again, this time being able to hold him back, and I held him tightly.
"What is it?" He asked in a gentle tone.
"I have anxiety." I said while being choked up.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, but i shook my head. Instead of telling him about it, I silently cried into his arms, hoping he wouldn't notice.
"What can I do to help?" He asked softly.
"Nothing." I quietly said.
He stayed quiet and tightened his grip on me. Then, he picked me up off the ground, and I wrapped my legs around his torso as he started to walk towards the living room. He sat down on the couch and just held me, which was what I needed.
He gently rubbed my back up and down and placed a kiss near my temple. "It's gonna be okay," he mumbled next to my ear, "everything is gonna be okay."
It was actually helpful what he was doing, he was very soothing, and I could feel my heart begin to slow down to its normal pace.
My grip on him loosened up, but i still rested my head on his shoulder.
"Talk to me." He said. "What happened?" He wanted to know what made me so anxious.
I didn't want to tell him about my dream. I didn't want to admit how bad school was making me feel. I wanted to be able to handle it, but I'm not doing so good. I didn't want to admit that I actually did not like what I was doing with my life.
"It's nothing." I whispered.
"Please tell me," he said, "I really want to know."
"I'm just stressed." "But it's nothing."
"About what?" he asked.
I shook my head and pulled away from him. "It's just school stuff." "It's fine."
He sighed and turned to look at me. "I wish you'd tell me anyways." "But I won't force you to."
"Can I ask... where do we stand?"
I looked at him, not knowing what to answer. I was trying my best not to have a full on breakdown over my classes in front of him, I didn't want to add this to it and actually start full on sobbing now.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"I- I guess you should leave." I said as i tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"You're going through with your decision?" He asked with sad eyes.
I can't handle the pressure right now, I can't be what he needs. I'm a mess. I guess it's better to let him go, and let him find happiness elsewhere.
I pressed my lips together and slowly nodded, not really convinced myself if my own decision. But, if he went to her in the first place it must be for a reason, if he talked to her about the possibility of leaving me, it is for a reason. I'm just giving him a small push.
He deserves to be happy.
"Okay" he scooted towards the edge of his seat and sat there for a moment, staring at the floor.
"Take care of yourself, okay?" He said as he turned his head to look at me. I nodded as I tried my best to keep myself together, avoiding making eye contact with him.
He stood up and kissed the top of my head before walking away, wiping his eyes and snuggling as he hurried out.
I shut my eyes tightly and let my tears fall down my face after hearing the front door shut.
The End
