Justin's POV
I watched her walk away, meanwhile my insides fumed with anger.
I know i'm the one to blame for her walking out, no one else. I brought it on myself.
Yes, I talked to Hailey about leaving Charlotte, but i was never gonna go through with it, not because i didn't have the courage to, but because i don't have the courage to face the consequences after it; her absence in my life.
I don't want to go back to feeling empty.
I shouldn't had let her walked out, but we were both angry, i didn't want to fuck it up more than i already had.
Im just gonna wait for her to cool down.
Charlotte's POV
I was enjoying my time alone in the apartment.
I spent the last two hours doing something i haven't done in a while, writing.
Justin had showed me a program on the computer that he used to record himself sometimes, and i was messing around with it, trying to make something with what i had written.
I was having fun. Much more fun than i have since I started school, and once again I was questioning wether i made the right choice in leaving music behind.
"Is it love? When so easily you say goodbye...
Is it love? when you stole my peace of mind
Is it love when you cry cry cry..."
I listened to myself a few times and decided to add some vocals over a few lines.
It didn't sound as good as it would if it had been produced at a studio, but it wasn't bad.
I decided on taking a break and got up to get some water, and when i went to the kitchen i discovered the sun was already rising.
"What the fuck." I mumbled.
I got so carried away with making music I didn't feel tired anymore. I felt relaxed, and a little bit of blissful during the chaos, leaving me, once again, questioning why I stopped making music.
I've been questioning my choices a lot lately, I am not happy studying. Actually, this is the most miserable i've been in a while. I've had moments where I start crying and shaking due to the anxiety i've been feeling, I don't think i knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to go back to school.
Not only is the pressure of not failing affecting me, but the fact that I haven't been able to be what Justin needs has had a toll on me. I know he deserves more, he just can't admit it, he won't let go, which is why i've been lowkey self-sabotaging my relationship with him, to make him leave me.
However, I'm scared to admit my doubts out loud, I don't want people to think less of me for not being able to handle this pressure, I don't want to let my parents down after investing on this, I don't want to be a disappointment. Let alone, I don't want the problems I've had in my relationship with Justin be for nothing.
I looked over at my phone to check the time, it was five am already. I also noticed Justin reached out.
Justin:
where are you?
it's late, i just want to make sure you're safe
please answer
Charlotte:
im fine
Im back at campus, don't worry about me.
I replied to his texts, just so he didn't worry about my whereabouts.
