~Untamed LOVE ~

Secrets Revealed

July 3

6:45 p.m.

Amber's P.O.V.

Oh my gosh rehab has been a pain in a pain in my ass. Its been very hard. You know when you want the latest iPhone, but you can't have it. That's how I feel in rehab without the drugs. I've been having some type of fun. I've got a customized ballet belly button ring.

I have realized something though, going through the counseling classes and the rehabilitation center for these past few weeks has successfully helped me. The nightmares that I was having have completely stopped.

I have definitely opened up more with my counselor. Talking about it really does help. That's something I have learned and will never forget.

I haven't seen Matt since the day I entered rehab because I thought it would be best for us not to see each other until after I get out. If I did see him, I would want to leave the program and that wouldn't help me.

This is a place I'm at where I can better myself and find the person who I'm truly am. I just hope it can stay that way.

"How long have you been in rehab now?"

"For about 3 months now. I'm staying 4 months isolation and 2 months leave"

"Ok explain to me what that means"

"That means I'm not able to leave the center for 4 months and I can leave 2 months but I have a certain time to come back"

"Oh ok. I'm very proud of you. I just wanted to see how you were progressing. So let's get to the real stuff"

I was currently in one of my therapy sessions at the rehab because I can't leave the center.

"Today is talking about forgiveness and closure. So I want to talk about your abuser. Why didn't you tell anyone"

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair. This is a tough subject to run upon, but I know I was gonna have to talk about it sometime. So I guess now was the right time. As I began to talk my voice became shaky.

"I was scared. I was so scared. I tried so many times to tell, but it just didn't come out. He made threats to kill me and I knew he would."

"So what did he exactly do to you", she asked and all of a sudden I felt the room began to spin. This is the exact moment I'm talking about, when you feel you're reliving the whole thing over again, but I have to be strong and talk to her because it will help me in the end.

"He beat me and raped me for 5 long years. Do you know how much damage that can cause an already broken child. I was 14, a teenager, when he took my innocence and he didn't care."

I clenched my fist tightly as I talked with anger and sadness in my voice. My eye sight became blurry and I cried.

"Do you think you could ever forgive him?", she asked. I looked up at her as my tears continued to pour down like a river. I shook my head resistantly.

"No. Never. I'm scarred for the rest of my entire life and it hurts. It hurts so much. I just want to kill him. I want him to feel the pain he brought upon me."

"Do you think he actually meant to do those things to you. Considering the fact that he had a very cruel, cruel childhood for a very long time."

She was confusing. Was she taking his side? That worthless human being hurt an innocent girl for all those years and didn't care.