The Emperor's Daiyu (BWAM)

20) Forgiveness

Akazi

The next night came and it was as if nothing happened.
As if I didn't charm him under the spell of my Dizi.
As if he didn't kiss me so earnestly.

I begin my nightly routine of playing my flute.
I tried to transport to a world unknown but I couldn't concentrate. My eyes only lift to his chest. I was curious to see if my blows were fatal. He refused me the knowledge of course. He didn't care to let me know whether I had bruised him. My hits may have been violent but I wasn't remorseful.
I'm glad I had done it!
He had cause me so much pain.

Twelve meetings.
Twelve.
It was the same routine.
It was after tonights meeting, the 13th that I was rebellious.

"You are dismissed." He says through a gruff.
I stand there, still stagnant in my place.

"You are dismissed" he whispers again as he heard the absence of my departing footsteps.

I stand defiantly, stagnant.

He hears my lack of movement and smirks.
"I said you are dismissed" His words were laced with venom.

"I heard you emperor." I answer back with a defiant tone. He looks to the side instead of me, almost willing to face me but he refuses. He turns his head back to the window, choosing to stare at the moon.

"Why are you still here?"

Silence. Pain. It was the only things between us.

"So what exactly is your plan emperor? This?" I snap, "You iced me out.
You refuse to face me and keep pushing me away. Yet you call me in every night to soothe your aching soul. Why?"

Xiang

"Daiyu" I say her name. I could hear the hurt in her voice and I couldn't bare to know I was the cause.

"I told you not to call me that. You are not allowed to embrace me with such a sacred title!" She yells.

"I will call you whatever I see fit Daiyu." I answer defiantly.

"The emperor used to call me that.
Xiang once called me that. You are neither of them"

"Then who am I?" I ask her. I wasn't expecting my Daiyu to answer back but did not fault her for her impatience.

"I don't know.
But the man who stands before me cannot even face me." She turns her back away, bending down to pack her Dizi.

"Daiyu" I whisper, trying to find the words to say. Her beautiful rich, brown orbs gaze into mine as she hears her name.
They scan me carelessly, searching for a man once forgotten. Why were her eyes so distracting?
They were absolutely spellbinding.
Entrancing.
Lulling me into a stupor of ecstasy.

A misty haze clouded them once she observed my features.
"The man who stands before me now, is not the same man who had once shown me kindness."

Akazi

He storms over, trapping me against the wall before he looks at me. His eyes were sorrowful with pain. "You think I take relish in this? Calling you in here to play and not being able to feel you against my skin?" He runs a soft palm against my cheek, admiring in my features.

"Scraps! That's all I have of you.
I pity my soul for even thinking a glance is enough to satiate my soul.
I tried to prohibit our meetings but my heart ached. I thought seeing you...even glancing over your profile would pacify my spirits but it did nothing.
I can eat.
I can sleep." With each confession he pulled me closer and closer.
"How dare you? Come in every night? Looking the way you do. You are killing me Daiyu" His lips pressed against my forehead in urgency.