Too much love will kill you

The Show must go on

Rachels' POV:

I didn't sleep all night worrying. I knew that this could bring on a repeat performance of Friday but I was too worried to sleep. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open during breakfast "Rachel why don't you go back to bed" Alicia said kindly when she saw me at the breakfast table

"I can't sleep. I've been awake all night worrying about Lindz" I rubbed my eyes

"Rachel you've got an early performance tonight, you can't perform when you've had  next to no sleep. And you certainly don't want to repeat what happened on Friday"

I made myself a bowl of Weetabix and sliced a banana on top. My hands shook as I poured three mugs of tea.

Rosie kindly came and took over "Rachel are you sure you don't want to go back to sleep?"

I was so desperately tired after not sleeping properly for three days straight. I couldn't think straight. I was so tired, I sat down to eat my breakfast and that was the last thing I remembered besides waking up on the floor.

"Rachel you can't carry on like this. You are going to make yourself ill by not sleeping. If you pass out on stage during the performance tonight it's going to make you feel like shit isn't it?" Alicia helped me up

"I can't sleep Alicia, everytime I close my eyes I couldn't stop seeing Lindz fly off that horse and then hitting the ground like a ragdoll"

"Come on even if you just get a few hours sleep" She tucked me up on the sofa with one of the heavy weighted Christmas throws . She stroked her fingers across my forehead and down my nose and I slowly drifted into sleep.

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"No! No! Lindz ! Please!" I thrashed around on the sofa and I must have screamed out because Fran came rushing up to me

"Hey hey calm down. Rachel wake up. It's just a bad dream, Rachel wake up" She stroked my cheek and I woke up with a shuddering gasp . I sat bolt upright panting and Fran wrapped her arms round me "shh it's okay it's just a bad dream, it's okay I promise" I relaxed into her arms

"It's not okay though is it!" I sobbed "Lindz is in ICU and she's not breathing on her own. She might die Fran- I nearly watched Alicia die a couple of months ago I can't go through it again!" I sobbed into her shirt

She rubbed my back gently "It is okay because she's not in ICU anymore. She started breathing on her own in the night and they moved her to a ward . Chloe phoned when you were asleep, you've been asleep for a couple of hours. Alicia made some wicked soup, do you feel upto a bowl of soup?"

I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was starving because I hadn't actually had a chance to eat my breakfast and I nodded.

Alicia came rushing into the living room "Did someone scream? Rachel, are you ok?"

"She will be, she had a bad dream but I managed to calm her down now. I was going to get her some of that soup you made because she hasn't eaten since last night" Fran detangled herself from me and the blanket and stood up

"I'm impressed Fran , you'd make an excellent nurse when you are older , you have a very caring nature. You seem to be coping in here so I'll go and see if Rosie is coping playing with my feral offspring" She laughed

Fran brought me a bowl of Alicia's homemade chicken soup and some slices of bread cut into 'soldiers' as we called them when we were Sadie's age. "Remember Alicia used to make this for us when we were sick as kids. It's Weird how we just accepted her when we were kids. We didn't think it was strange for a sister to just turn up after 5 years of your life" She carefully put the tray down on my lap and sat next me carefully moving the blanket so that the tray didn't tip.