Harry Styles Fanfiction - You Found Me

Chapter 136

**YOUR POV**
„I'm sorry Grace, we already talked about this once. I'm sorry for acting this way, but it's just so hard." Harry buried his face in my stomach and after a few moments, I felt something wet on my skin.

I could swear, that it was a tear, but when Harry looked up at me again, his eyes were completely dry. Typical Harry, always trying to be strong in front of me. He closed his eyes before he started to talk again, eyes still closed.

„As I said, I had this dream. A dream where my greatest fear came true. I don't know, I've dreamt it quite a few times now, what if it will be true? Those dreams are always so real."
What neither Harry or I knew back then, but haunted me now every day and night, was, that his fear would come true.

Harry's greatest dream was to have kids and watch them grow up and his biggest fear was not being there for them.

The knowledge, that Harry knew, that he wouldn't be around to see his kids growing up, was a great grief for me. I remembered trying to tell him, that his dreams were nothing but dreams and that he would of course be here in the future and be there through every step of their lives, but to no use. He scared me, it was like he was able to predict the future and that no new memories could be seen in his.

„Did you know that you were going to die young?" I whispered while I closed my precious notebook before putting it back to its place.

„Did you know that you were going to die young? Please tell me you didn't!" I cried out while burying my face in my hands. Those moments right after I looked through my life with Harry were the hardest for me. We went through so, so much. The love I had for him was indescribable and knowing he was gone forever, literally destroyed me.

„PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE!" I screamed as if he would answer me. If I only said things loud enough.

I ran to my closet and grabbed one of Harry's favorite hoodies before I broke down on my bed, sobbing into the cold fabric. Harry's smell was gone and the fabric wasn't warm as it was when he wore it, when he lived, but it was his.
I refused to throw away anything that had to do with Harry. Our house was just as we left it that night one year ago.

His jacket was still thrown over the couch and his sunglasses, his favorite ones, still laid on the kitchen table. I didn't dare to move anything, I was scared, that Harry would disappear if I did.

„You said that we were going to die together." I whispered into the cold and lifeless fabric. „You promised me you would never leave me." I closed my eyes and imagined that I hugged Harry and not a hoodie. I imagined wrapping my arms around his body, placing them on his warm back and leaning my head against his chest like I always did.

„You didn't even have time to meet our baby."

„Mummy?" I heard quick footsteps and watched how a head full of long, brown curls ran towards me. Curls like he had. Her green eyes boring into mine like his always did.

„Yes Avery, sweetheart." I gave her a smile, running my hand through her soft curls. She was just like him, exactly the same. Every time I looked at her, I saw him, his smile, his eyes, his hair, the way she walked. Just everything and it made me happy and sad at the same time. He was here, but still he wasn't. He was gone...

„Why you cwying?" Her sweet voice sounded.

„I just really miss daddy." I told her, honestly. She was always daddy's girl, his special, little princess. She loved him so much like he loved her, so when he passed, it was heartbreaking to see her so sad for months. She was just two years old, now three, but she understood. She understood everything. She knew he was gone and would never come back. She knew he passed away.