January: Eddy

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Eddy's POV

A month has passed, I can't seem to refuse when Kelly asked me out. I felt really bad for Y/N about this, as she seems to feel comfortable around me more since Christmas.

It was really fun how we both decorate a christmas tree together at home, eating a feast and stargazing from the balcony. Just the both of us, without anyone else.

Those memories of the past slowly came back to Y/N. I can still imagine how relief I am back then when she told me something after we finished decorating the apartment with all the christmas ornaments we have.

Below the mistletoe she said, she often heard voices on her mind, my voice specially. It made her thinking that I must be really important to her in the past.

She's been wondering about the melodies she heard every morning too. She felt weirdly nostalgic, but can't seem to think about where did she hear those melodies from. The tone I played, it was none other than the pieces that we have put together and played together in the past.

Seeing how nice I was lately to her made her smile. She was happy with me she said.

"I wanted to have a good life with you, maybe the same before I forgot everything." That's what she said to me.

How I wanted to confess to her that I felt the same way. But I can only hug her tight below that mistletoe, as if showing I can't lose her anymore. These feelings of mine grew deeper than I imagine it would be. I truly care for her, I wonder she knows about it. If only she knows I can't seem to handle my own feelings since she had the accident.

I've also been meeting Kelly a lot lately. It doesn't seem right anymore. She always said that she's bored or she's just in the neighbourhood.

Yeah, she already knows. She knows I live with Y/N now, she knows Y/N currently has an amnesia and I feel so wrong now. Why did I blurt it out to her about it? It's not like that she cares anyway.

Maybe it's my fault.

No. It's always been my fault. I didn't have to go out with Kelly, leaving Y/N all alone in the apartment. I didn't have to tell anyone about where I live, whom I am living with.

But I still did it, just because I think even though she already hurt me in the past, she's still a good friend. She made me happy before.

I shouldn't make Y/N's smile is the reason I'm okay to do anything. She already suffer before she had the accident, she faked smile too long back then, her smile now may have been the same smile she have back then. She smiles doesn't always mean she's happy.

Drrt.... drrt....

I take my phone from my pocket, seeing a name I don't want to see in the screen.

"Hey, Eddy! Busy right now? I'm going to your place now, let's hangout!" Kelly's voice echoes on my ear as soon as I answer the call.

I silent for a moment, froze in my room. Before I can answer her, my eyes catches Y/N's presence in front of my room. She smiles to me, probably looking for me.

"Hey, Eddy? You there?"

"Um, sorry, Kelly. I can't right now. Let's meet another time, okay?" I quickly answer her and end the call panically.

I'm really afraid. A fear of the past strike me just now, hoping that I made the right decision to refuse her. I can't grow my feelings for Kelly again, not after I realize that I have someone else who cares more about me.

"Eddy?" Y/N seems to approach me slowly after I end the call.

I can see she's confused, maybe question why did I do that on the phone.

"Was that Kelly?" she asked when she's in front of me. "Why did you said that to her? You may hurt her feelings you know."

I glance to her silently, let out a sigh before answering. "You don't have to think about it, Y/N. You're not 100% recovered, so it's normal that I should be at home often."

"You're worried about me?"

I pat her head softly with a smile. "Of course I'm worried about you. I..."

My sentence restrained. She looks curious as I hold it. But in the end I can't talk honestly with her.

"I care about you, Y/N. Like my own family." I continue my sentence.

It's now or never. I should get a hold of myself. I can't meet up with another girl when I have a crush myself. I promised her already to move on from the past, and that's what I'll do. Just like what she said to me I first come here.

I'm here.

To be continued :]

OMG how are you guys?? Work really made can't do anything lately, it's too hectic then I'm too tired to write anything. Here I am writing so fast without a concept just when I have time to have a break. I hope it wasn't weird or anything. You can remind me if I forgot to update guys. Thank you! :']

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