A Wish Just For You

October: You

October 2014

I was just finishing my thesis submission when I saw Eddy walking with Kelly at the gate of the neighbour campus.

My footsteps forced me to stalk them, figuring out what are they up to. Eddy didn't tell me at all that he was going to his campus.

As it turns out, their campus backyard is their goal.  My heart fluttered when I heard a loud slap reach my ears, before I even peeked at them from behind the building.

I saw Eddy frowned there, enduring the pain he received on his cheek.  I'm sure the red on his cheeks is actually nothing with the hurt he felt a year back.

I went back into hiding, enduring these never-ending mixed feelings.

I never found out what happened between them. Even though Eddy came to me after Kelly left him, he never opened his mouth about Kelly.  He just kept saying he wanted Kelly back.

Come to think of it, what kind of best friend am I?  As the person who accompanied him ever since he fell to his lowest point, I was just like a stray bird.  I wanted to fly with him, but I'm too afraid of what lies ahead.

I lowered my head while feeling my heartbeat getting tense.  My hand squeezed my shirt, enduring the pain that grew along with Eddy's agony.

"I told you not to bother me again, right?"  Kelly's voice echoed.  "I'm already happy with him, don't disturb us."

"Kelly, I... I just..."

"We've talked about this before, haven't we, Eddy? So just grow up, would you?"

There's no answer after that.

Shortly after, Kelly seemed to come past me.  Our eyes met, but she didn't say anything. She just keep walking, leaving me frozen.

I lower my head again after Kelly left, as if I feel the same burden as Eddy. My head can't bear to see his current state.

"Y/N?"

I turned towards the source of the sound.  Eddy seemed to be looking at me with a tired face, but also surprised.  There are dark circles under his eyes, did he not sleep last night?

I smile faintly.  "Hey."

"Why are you here?"  asked Eddy, still not expecting me present in his campus. His voice was barely heard.

However, I can't answer.

"So, you heard our conversation?"  asked Eddy again.

I remain silent.  All I can do is sigh and avoid Eddy's gaze.

Can I not be yours instead?

---

I put my hand on Eddy's head who is now fast asleep.  He was tired enough to go through another day of gloom.

All of his complaints have been spilled to me and I listened to everything on his mind.  It's an irony that he hasn't forgotten Kelly since that day without knowing the reason why he deserved to be left.

A small smile formed on my face as my hand stroked Eddy's head.  "Sometimes I wonder... have you ever dreamed of me on your sleep?"

I was already friends with Eddy long before he even met his world.  But it is undeniable that Kelly is everything to him.  Not to blame, but just unfortunate.  If he understood I was always thinking about him, would things be different?

My story indeed is a cliché.  A person who loves without being loved back. Even after he got here, he didn't notice me in the slightest.

You might say that Eddy was too dumb to hope for someone who left him, but does that mean I'm too selfish to crave someone's half soul?

To be continued :)