Perfectly Ruined by:jdollar *a D'Amore story*

Chapter 54

<<<<<<< some call it chaos but we call it family >>>>>>>>>
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Caroline
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"I honestly don't see why Pauly won't let you come stay with us for a while," Anut Gia said to Marco while pinching his cheek as if he were still a toddler.

"Neither do I," Anut Stella chipped in. "Pauly loved his time with us when he was your age. Just ask him? Says it was the best part of his younger years!"

I grin. Yeah, he does say that. But it's only because staying with the ancient old ladies was a dream instead of the nightmare he lived with while staying with his parents. I don't explain that to the women cooing over Pauly's younger brother. Though I do notice how he pulls away from their touch. Considering their pinching fingers, I don't think on it long.
I make my way through Lex and Mia's formal sitting room. Mia is thrilled to be back in the city. In her own words, 'the air may be full of smoke from industrial factors and the streets full of people but I'd suffer it all as long as we're together.'
That was Mia for you. Family is everything to her and I'm lucky enough to be considered part of that family. I'll especially find myself thankful for this fact in the coming weeks. I hadn't cried when my father had been arrested or when the news broke out. I'd even been able to keep it together when Rita and I had packed up the few things I had wanted from his apartment. My mother's pictures and belongs mostly. All of my things had already been moved to Pauly's penthouse. And although he had plenty of room for my stuff, most of my mother's thing had been put in storage for the time being. 'Until you find a house for us,' Pauly had surprised me by saying a couple of weeks ago.
I haven't even begun to search yet. Pauly wanted away from Manhattan. He'd be happy selling everything, taking the money, and living in the middle of nowhere if he had his way. I was half tempted to do just that but Pauly would never truly be happy away from his family. They were strongest when together. Not to mention, it would be ripping Marco away from everything he knew. All his friends. Things have already been bad enough for his baby brother, I couldn't make things even harder on him. And besides....my whole life has been spent in New York. I'm exactly sure I'd know how to live anywhere else.
It's a way of life here and it's in my blood. It surly has to be the same for Marco.
Since coming home from the hospital, I've been able to spend some time with Pauly's little brother. He truly is quite impressive for a thirteen year old. Very bright and talented too. He's a drawer. A fact I learned that he seemed embarrassed about. I came into the living area, with Marco on the sofa, scribbling away on a scratch pad, and saw over his shoulder. When I complimented his work, he slapped the pad shut, and turned red faced. His work, the little of it I saw, is dark and depressing, yet still, somehow, beautiful.
I mentioned it to Pauly one night, wondering if he knew how talented his brother was. He hadn't and seemed surprised but impressed that his brother possessed such a talent. Pauly said, 'no one in my family ever drew and I sure as hell can't draw anymore than stick figures'. Apparently, it's a skill only Marco has. Later the next day, when Pauly asked to see Marco's artwork, Marco had shrugged it off. 'I'm really not that good. Caroline is just being nice' he said.
The compliment I'd given might have been nice but it was true. Marco had skill with a pencil and if given the right opportunity, he could probably do amazing things. Art, in any form, is expression. A way of showing the world who you are behind your skin. I was thrilled to see that Marco had been able to release part of himself in some way. He's so closed off. So distance.
It made prefect sense that his choice of style in his drawings would be so gloomy. Almost giving you a hopeless feeling. For someone so young, he'd already been through so much. I suppose that would also explain his seriousness. He was the exact opposite of the person Pauly had once been. When I'd first met Pauly D'Amore, he'd been a player. Never taking anything seriously. Fun loving and devil may care all the way. Pauly is still a shadow of that. Now too much has happened. He's become a man in a way that I doubt he ever thought he could be. Pauly has manned up. Become a leader for me and his brother. A boss to a multi-million dollar corporation!
A job he hadn't wanted and deep down, I think, he still hates the job. However, he'll keep the role to give Marco the chance to enjoy life.
The problem with that is, Marco is too serious by half. He's had too much of Samuel's influence. The kid has been given money to keep him busy but instead of blowing it on gaming stations and clothes like most teens, Marco has grown to resent money. Now, without Genevieve's nagging and Samuel's expectations, Marco's adopted a run down looking style. Opting for black hoodies and dark jeans with holes ripped in the knees. Beat up boots and a dark scowl on his handsome face. The kid has a chip on his shoulder. Though never lashes out at me or his brother, he's pretty much an ass to everyone else. There is anger in him. Rightly so. I can understand why he'd be so torn about the direction his life has taken. I, too, have a parent that pretended to care for me, when really they only cared about appearances. More on that later.
But for now, we're on Marco.
Because Marco has become even more introverted, to the point of locking himself away in his room for most of the day, I raised my concerns to Pauly. Who then confided in Mia and Lex. Since they seem to have a knack for raising kids who have had it tough. They suggested a 'get together' of the family. People who could gather around him. However, when Mia suggested the party, I don't think she had planned on the Anuties smothering him to the point of sour cheeks. Deep down, I think this 'gathering' is partly for me. They've all been so wonderful. Kind and non-judgmental. The best part was no acted like anything had happened. Of course, they all knew what had happened. But no one asked me questions or made comments about my bruised cheek. It was best that way. I didn't want anyone's pity. Though I know they all feel sorry for me, no one tried to approach me with 'I'm sorry your father killed your baby', or 'you're still young, there will be other babies'.
Thinking on it now, I can't help but wonder if Pauly had asked them not to mention the situation at all.
I wouldn't doubt it.
Pauly has become unreasonably more protective of me. And Marco too.
I'm not to eat anything that isn't prepared by Rita, herself. This party, being the only exception to the rule. Max or Toe is constantly on guard now. And with Adalee at the penthouse during the day, while Pauly is at the office, I've also noticed that Adalee has developed a love-hate relationship with Max. I can't help but wonder if something might have happened between the two since they've had to spend so much time together while watching over me. I could see it in the way he looked at her and glared back at him. Later on, I'd caught her grinning as she watched on the phone. I hadn't questioned her then but I will soon enough.
I already had enough on my mind.
As if things couldn't get worse, the internet and papers were having a field day with my father's arrest. Pauly and Adalee do their best to keep the gossip away from me but they can't be by my side every second of the day. The news feed on my phone popped up the article I'd foolishly read. Titled 'The Barlow Family's fall from Grace'. They'd mentioned everything from my dropping out of college to my running away with the playboy. Saying that the 'stress' of such a rebellious daughter had apparently gotten to my father. They'd mentioned my absence at the fashion show and somehow knew of my pregnancy. The press was out of control at first. Snapping pictures of my bruised cheek, blaming the marks on Pauly. Saying, 'has the playboy gotten too handsy with the fallen princess'.  To say the least, it was a mess.
Things calmed down when Pauly hired some damage control. Thank goodness.
Between Samuel's sudden death, Genevieve's disappearance, my father's arrest, and my short lived pregnancy, they had their work cut out for them. We'd becoming celebrities! And, I never would have thought I'd say this but, it wasn't at all what I wanted. Growing up here, I'd always wanted my name in the papers, but not like this. It's a mess.
A mess that is slowly being cleaned up but there is still plenty of dirt out there.
I want it all over with.
The court date that would soon come.
They pain to go away.
To move on.
But I'll never forget.
As much as I wish I could.