Perfectly Ruined by:jdollar *a D'Amore story*

Chapter 44

||●||●|| yeah, she's cute, but she's mine, touch her and I'll kill you. ||●||●||
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Caroline
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Pauly has his arms wrapped around me most of the night and when I wake. It's not because I find myself too warm in his embrace. It's because of the nightmare I just had.
In this dream, I'd told Pauly about the baby. And my darkest fear had come to life, when he said that he didn't want the baby, or me anymore.
I woke on a gasp.
Startling him awake as I jumped.

"What is it?" His voice is deep and raspy from his sleep.

My breathing is harsh and labored. Sweat has made a thin sheet over my face, not from the heat, but from the fear.
Dr. Logan had agreed to give me time, telling Pauly that my upset stomach was only due to stress. Pauly hadn't liked the idea of my being 'stressed' but I just know he will be even more unhappy about this baby. How could he though?
This was our baby. A life that wouldn't exist if we hadn't of cared for one another at one point. If I weren't so worried about what Pauly would think or say, I'd be thrilled to death over it! This is my child. A child made with the man I love. The only problem is that he isn't in love with me. He hasn't said so anyways. Leaving doubt to work in my mind.
I sit up and push myself in to a sitting position, my hand covering my lower belly, protectively. Pauly sees this and he looks up at me confused.

"Are you going to be sick again?" He asks worried that I might throw up on him. Or in the hospital bed.

"No," I shake my head. "I'm fine. It was just a bad dream."

"About what?" He mumbles, relaxing back down.

About you hating our baby....and me.

"It's nothing. I'm alright now."

I should tell him. It's time. Overdue, really. It's been a week since Dr. Logan told me of my condition and I've been putting off telling Pauly. I've just not had the courage to do so. Or tell anyone in fact. Not Adalee or Daddy. Hell, I haven't even fully broken up with Jamie yet. Though, I get the feeling he knows where we're headed in our relationship. I missed the afternoon tea with the ladies of the Colony Club, not even bothering to call ahead and cancel.
When my pregnancy came out, I wouldn't be expected in to their club anyways. In their eyes, I was ruined. Or would be when they learned of my 'mistakes', as I'm sure that's how they would put it. I don't even really care anymore. Let them talk. Let them laugh at me. I just....don't care what anyone else will think of me. The only person's opinion I care about is Pauly's.
Not even Daddy's opinion matters much anymore. He's been keeping a close eye on me but won't speak to me. He doesn't try to make things better between us. Even though, I've tried speaking to him, Daddy refuses to answer.
It hurts my heart.

"You've got that look again," Pauly snaps me out of thoughts. "Like you're far away."

I try to give a half grin, shrugging it off.

"I'm here," I tell him.

His thumb brushes against my cheek.

"No," he says. "You're not really. Care, just tell me. Talk to me."

His dark gaze watches me, he knows I'm keeping something from him. It's time, my mind tells me. He needs to know.

"You remember that day that you had Dr. Logan do some tests on me?"

He sits up again, obviously concerned now.

"Yeah...? He said everything looked fine."

"He agreed to let me have some time," I try to explain, since he looks irritated that the thought of us having kept something from him. "That day, he did find something....but I don't think either of us expected what he found."