Formula 1 One-Shots (I)

Robert Shwartzman [22]

A/N This one is for why-are-you-here-. I hope you like it! Please vote and comment for feedback. Enjoy!

WARNINGS: /
WORDS: 1025

As quietly as possible I enter the apartment of Robert and me. I was out with friends that night and it ended later than I had planned. Contrary to my expectation, our apartment is not shrouded in deep darkness. On the contrary, light penetrates from the kitchen and the hallway is also brightly illuminated.

"Rob?" I ask, with a muted voice, because when he's asleep I don't want to wake him up. When no answer comes, I quietly go to the kitchen and just want to turn off the light, but then I see Robert sitting at the kitchen table.

His hands folded and his head supported on it, he sits there and fixes something on the table. Quietly, I announce my present to him. Robert raises his head, looks at me expressionlessly, but says nothing.

Confused, I look at him, his behavior is absolutely strange, and I don't quite know how to respond when movement comes into him. Defensively, he folds his arms in front of his chest and looks at me waiting.

"Where were you?" he asks with one voice as cold as the Russian winter. Not again, I think, because I know exactly where this conversation is going.

"I was partying with my friends and you know that" I say with little emotion in my voice.

"Who?" he hisses, and I roll my eyes.

"I'm always away with them. Damn Rob I told you who I'm going out with, don't do a scene now." Too often we've been arguing about this topic and actually I just want to go to bed.

"I'm not supposed to do a scene. You go away from week to week with your friends, leave me alone at home and get drunk. There are enough guys in your group of friends who want to get into your pants, so don't tell me I should stay calm!" Week after week, Rob almost accuses me of cheating. He never pronounces it, but just rewrites it, pushing it on my male friends.

"You know, I'd never let it get that far," I mutter now quietly. In my head it starts to hurt, and I really don't want to argue anymore.

"You may not, but everyone else. I..." Before he can continue to talk himself into rage, I'm getting louder now.

"You know what? I can't have this argument with you again." With big eyes, Robert looks at me now.

"But..." he tries again, but I interrupt him directly.

"No! I'm done with you." As the tears rise into my eyes, I leave the apartment and quickly step up to a friend who lives only a few streets away.

In the clear night air, I only realize that I have just finished with Rob. Abruptly I stop, that wasn't actually the plan. Yes, I'm angry with him that he starts the same argument week after week, but I didn't want to part with him.

Hesitantly, I stand on the dark street and wrestle with myself. If I go to my girlfriend, let Robert simmer, and maybe risk our relationship or I go back and clarify this directly.

A few minutes pass, then I sigh and turn around. The way to our apartment seems endless to me and yet I hesitate once more when I stand at the door. I must overcome myself, but then I go in.

The scenery hasn't changed. Light still shines in the kitchen and hallway, but one thing was different. Instead of ghostly silence, I can hear quiet sobbing from the kitchen. With slow steps I go to the door, then Rob falls into my field of vision.

Buried in his hands, he cries in front of him and seems to swear quietly in Russian with himself. He doesn't seem to have noticed me and even when I come towards him, he doesn't raise his head.

Carefully, I put a hand on his shoulder, and his head shrugs. Before I can react, he pulls me on his lap and wraps his arms tightly around me. I didn't want to throw myself directly into his arms, but right now he makes it damn hard not to be angry.

I lovingly swipe him through his hair and whisper sweet nothings until the crying becomes quieter and finally falls silent. It's quiet for a few minutes, then Robert looks up and starts talking.

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make all things good again, but it is. I've been a jealous idiot for the last few weeks and there's no doubt about that. I trust you; I trust you with my life and yet I can't stop this horrible jealousy."

He pauses briefly and seems to have to gather, then he continues to speak.

"I love you; I love you so much, but at the same time I am so afraid to lose you. That someone else can offer you more and you leave me alone. Deep inside, I know it's not going to happen, but I can't turn off my thoughts.'

Now Robert has lost the battle against the tears and let them run down his cheeks. Carefully, I take his face into my hands, wipe away the tears with my thumbs and catch his gaze.

"Daragoi moi* calm down okay? I'm not going away and I'm not going to find anyone better than you. I love you and that doesn't change when you're such a jealous idiot. We have to end this fighting, but we do not need to talk about that now. Now we just lie down in bed and rest a little. Okay?"

Robert nods and lets me get up from his lap but holds on to my hand. In the bedroom he hardly wants to get away from me, but I must put on some more comfortable things.

As soon as I lie with him in bed, he wraps his arms tightly around me and pulls me close to his chest.

"I love you solnaschka**" he mutters, then we both sleep with exhaustion.

It doesn't always go perfectly with us, but together we get everything back and then the sun will shine over our relationship again.

*My love **sunshine (I only know the german equivalent to them. I hope the translation is alright)