Utsuro panted, his breathing going uneven as he staggered towards an alleyway. Utsuro looked up with one eye and his teeth gritted in pain. He never thought he'd obtain such injury from that fight with Gintoki and the others.
"Heh," he smirked as he collapsed against a wall, losing the little bit of strength he had left. "To think I would be pushed to this extent...." He looked up and sighed, feeling all his energy being drained from his body— it was like he was going numb.
Softly, Utsuro closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. For the first time in his life, he felt at peace as Utsuro— his heart, mind and soul were silent and calm. Nothing else clouded his mind.
Then, it started raining. Rain came pouring down all of a sudden. He felt it pelt against his skin, but that didn't bother him— he wasn't even gonna get sick from it anyways so why bother? This was when he felt nothing make contact with his skin— like something was sheltering him from the rain.
Slightly opening one eye, he sees a woman crouched down in front of him. (H/L) (H/C) hair framing her face, and bright and eccentric (E/C) eyes that were swirling with concern.
"You'll get sick." She calmly reprimanded with a gentle smile and at this Utsuro frowned. He turned his head away and scowled.
"Don't Give It To Me, you foolish woman." He spoke deeply with a hateful and unfriendly tone. His eyebrows furrowed angrily as he clicked his tongue, waiting for her to go away.
"What won't I give?" She hummed lowly, and Utsuro glanced at her— she was smiling so kindly, probably clueless of the fact that this man she was trying to help could kill her with a lift of his hand.
"I'm not giving you anything. I'm just trying to help you not get sick." She smiled sincerely at him and sighed. "The rain won't let up any time now, would you like to visit my place for shelter?" She asked as she stood up.
Utsuro looked at her and contemplated in his mind. If he went with her, he could hide from Gintoki who might possibly come running after—looking for him. It wasn't a bad idea really, and if anything ever goes wrong he could kill her easily.
Slowly, Utsuro stood up and looked at her. "...Just remember, that I warned you, foolish woman." Utsuro says as he takes the umbrella from her hand and held it over their heads.
It was uncharacteristical of him to do so— but, this woman. For some reason, she was different. He didn't have this utter craving to just kill off this woman— well, he didn't usually kill needlessly, maybe he did but he usually did it because it annoyed him.
But she wasn't— she wasn't annoying or irritating. In contrast, she was very soothing and relaxing to be around. Utsuro glanced at the woman who was humming happily as they were walking.
Utsuro raised an eyebrow at her before he sighed and looked away. 'I told you not to give it to me....these troublesome feelings.'
---
It's been a week. A whole week of Utsuro staying with (Y/N)— apparently, the woman lived alone in a small house in a little town. The whole week, Utsuro did nothing but stay inside her house while she continued on with her daily life, going to work, cleaning the house and relaxing on her day off— the only differemce was that Utsuro was there with her.
"I'm home~" (Y/N) calls out as she enters the house after getting off from work. Then, she sees Utsuro calmly sitting at the couch with a book in hand. He turned his red eyes at her for a while and nodded.
"..Welcome home." Utsuro stated as he closed the book he was reading and stood up. "Oh, it's alright. I'll prepare dinner tonight." (Y/N) informed him with a smile as she heads straight to the kitchen.
"....." Utsuro sat down without another word, but his eyes eventually went back to watch her work every other minute.
It was all so new to him. He felt like this was such a fascinating thing, lounging around the house, reading books, doing whatever he wanted that didn't involve destroying the whole universe and just waiting for her to get home like a lovesick puppy waiting for it's owner.
And saying stuff like 'welcome home' or hesring the words 'I'm home' were all so new to him but he felt oddly relieved whenever he hears those words.
Utsuro sat back down and opened his book again, his eyes gazed at the words hwich were on the book.
"—And it was something I never knew before. This feeling of having a home, and someone to come home to."
A rare smile played on Utsuro lips as he lifted the book to cover half his face to hide the rare smile on his usually cold and emotionless face.
"....How ironic."
---
"I'm home!! Look what I bought!!" (Y/N) excitedly ran towards Utsuro, who was sitting on the porch and enjoying the scenery.
'Ah...Maybe, not destroying the world isn't such a bad idea after all.' Utsuro thought in his mind, gently placing the tea cup down on the floor, he turned to (Y/N) who lifted up two pairs of kimono.
"I've been paid extra today and coincidentally stumbled upon some clothing shops. I couldn't decide which one looked better on you so I bought both of them!!" She gushes as she pushes the kimonos into Utsuro's arms.
"Go try it out!!~" she shooed him away to change and Utsuro sighed. "You really shouldn't have... " He shook his head but still went to change.
(Y/N) smiled as she watched him go, the corners of her lips tugging upwards as she sighed happily. At first, Utsuro was very cold and stoic. He ignored her, never listened to her and always glared at her— but as time passed by, he started opening up to her, and he was warming up to her.
"...Are you satisfied?" Utsuro grunted in a not so happy voice, walking out in the newly bought kimono.
"...You look....." (Y/N) placed her hands together in front of her and blushed as she looked away, her eyes flusteredly blinking as she avoided Utsuro's eyes "...quite handsome."
Utsuro's eyes widened, she looked so cute. Then, he felt his heart beat loudly and he gasped. 'What is it? Why is my heart beating so fast?.....This...erratic beating of my heart, is it.....' Utsuro trailed off and looked at (Y/N).
"Love?...."
"Hm?"
"Oh, nothing. I said I love this." Utsuro gestured to the kimono and (Y/N) giggled.
When night fell, (Y/N) was fast asleep in her bed. Deep into slumber, meanwhile Utsuro was wide awake, his mind was thinking of only one thing.
Was he in love?
Utsuro scoffed, his eyes falling unto the ceiling in a fixed gaze. "That's utterly ridiculous." He told himself, as he scowled. "I've been living for years and years and not once did I ever feel this....so-called love." Utsuro sighs as he turned on his side and clsoed his eyes.
"It'll be gone before I know it."
Or so he thought, but it didn't disappear...
---
Today was (Y/N)'s day off, and she decided to spend it by cleaning her house which Utsuro volunteered to help her with— which was very unthinkable for him to do.
"Oh, I forgot to clean up there." (Y/N) absent-mindedly spoke to herself as she went up on her toes and tried to reach the top of the shelf with the feather duster in her hands.
"Just....a little bit more..." She groans, going higher, trying to reach the tall shelf but then she lost her balance and slammed her forehead against the books which then came falling down on her head— along with her.
"OWWW!!"
"What happened?" Utsuro's head peeked out from the door of the room next door which he was cleaning and he sighed when he saw (Y/N) rubbing the top of her head with a frown on her face and the books scattered all around her.
"Such a clumsy woman," Utsuro sighs, crouching down to her level to examine her injury— if she had any. He carefully placed his palm on her cheek to gently look at her face.
She had this cute little pout going on, and there were small little tears pooling at the corner of her beautiful (E/C) eyes. Her forehead was bright red and it seemed that there was even a lump forming at the top of her head.
"....You'll be fine." Utsuro sighs softly, a little relieved. (Y/N) was a weak and fragile woman, her arms were thin and soft, so he always had this instinct to protect her. "It's just a little bruise. It'll go away soon." Utsuro stood up, ready to return to his work when all of a sudden she held on to the sleeve of his kimono.
"W-Wait!!"
(Y/N) secretly loved the feeling of him touching her. It felt so good that she felt all the hairs of her skin go up, when his finger made contact with her skin.
However, when he retracted his hand all of a sudden she acted on purely impulse and called out his name— now she didn't know what to do or say.
"K-Kiss it so it'll go away...." (Y/N) mumbled without thinking, eyes averting to the side in an embarrassed gaze and Utsuro's eyes widened at her request.
Suddenly, Utsuro's red eyes met her (E/C) ones. They locked in a trance, just gazing into each other's eyes, admiring the beauty held in it. This was when, Utsuro's eyes moved down to look at her lips.
'There it is again...My heart is racing, is it because of her again?.....'
Those beautiful pair of soft, kissable and plump red lips were tempting him. Without even knowing it, his body started moving and his lips unknowingly parted in anticipation.
(Y/N), who noticed this sudden change of his behavior gulped and started blinking flusteredly. But she was anticipsting it too, her lips parted, as he got nearer and nearer.
Finally, the distance between them started closing in. But, just when he was just one push away— he stopped. Utsuro's eyes widened and he made eye contact with (Y/N) whose eyes widened when he stopped too.
'H-He was so close!!....'
"I-I apologize, I just needed to check....something." Utsuro gulped and backed away and (Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows angrily. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him close.
"W-Why did you—!!"
"I didn't mean to, I was just—"
"Why did you stop?!" She yelled frustratedly, tears clouding her vision while Utsuro was dumbfounded.
"....What?"
"H-How could you do that....making me think you were going to kis— Whatever!!" She huffed and stood up, walking out while Utsuro was still confused.
Later that night, Utsuro was up and about thinking of what he should do with these troublesome feelings that were slowly but surely growing in his heart. The emotion called love— the feeling of having someone you treasure, adore and want to protect at all costs.
The feeling of having someone to love.
Slowly, he lifted his hand to his chin and sighed deeply. "It can't be," He stated firmly as he shut his eyes closed. "Now, what should I do about it?...." He hummed, tapping a finger on his chin in thought.
Then, he opened his eyes— his red orbs harboring a cold look in them. "If you don't want it, just kill it." He smirked.
And that night— he made up his mind to fall out of love with her.
"I told you the first time we met," Utsuro sighs as he ran his fingers through his hair and held up a portion of it. "Don't Give It To Me."
----
"I'm going out shopping!!"
Utsuro shut his book closed when he heard (Y/N)'s voice. A second later, the door was shut and the room was silent. But, there was this uneasy feeling that was bothering him— like something bad was gonna happen and it was warning him about it.
".....Don't even think about it." Utsuro huffed, as he tried to ignore it. "Who cares about her?"
Utsuro scowled, as he stood behind an electric pole. He was hiding from (Y/N), while also secretly following behind her. He watched as she bought various ingredients and vegetables.
Utsuro sighed and crossed his arms with a bored look on his face. 'I was paranoid for nothing...' he turned his back and was about to go back home before she noticed he was gone when all of a sudden—
"E-Excuse me, what did you need?" (Y/N) mumbled out lowly, her voice low, weak and gentle as she looked up at 4 intimidating men wearing weird clothes and whose faces were hidden from plain sight.
Utsuro quickly looked back and his eyes widened. It was the Naraku— they had already started sniffing about his whereabouts.
"Tell us where Utsuro is."
He watched as (Y/N) shrunk under the men's watchful gaze. She was frightened and Utsuro frowned 'With this— She'll easily tell them where I am in order to save herself. This is the perfect chance to get rid of these troublesome feelings.' He sighs, as he closed his eyes for a while and prepared to go back. 'In the end, humans always turn to betrayal in the face of danger.'
"I don't know what you're talking about."
(Y/N)'s voice sounded different and Utsuro's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It was strong, firm and had no signs of wavering. It was completely different from how her voice sounded earlier.
"What?"
"I said, I don't know. Even if I ever did, why would I tell you?" (Y/N) narrowed her eyes at the men, her face showing nothing short of scared. But she stood her ground, and was even glaring back at them with her once kind and gentle (E/C) eyes now turning fierce.
"Nothing will get you to talk? Even, losing your head?" The man threatened, placing his sword at her neck, drawing blood.
"Even if you take my life, you won't get words out of my mouth." She smirked at him and the man angrily glared at her.
"I told you over and over, don't give it to me."
Utsuro frowned and looked back, she was still standing there with her lips sealed shut. Her eyes glaring daggers at the man who held a sword to her neck. Utsuro's heart dropped, he wanted to help her but his mind was screaming at him to run away— it was the perfect chance to get rid of this so-called love and her in one shot.
'Look away— now. This opportunity won't come twice— Don't save her, Don't go to her. Don't—'
"Don't touch her." Utsuro growls, in a split second Utsuro appeared before her. The sword clattered to the ground as Utsuro gripped the man's wrist tightly.
"(Y/N), will you please close your eyes for a while?"
(Y/N) was stunned as to how Utsuro suddenly appeared before her but she still obeyed and shut her eyes closed. Once she did, Utsuro smiled faintly and then glared at the man before flinging him like a fly with a small move of his hand.
"Let's go." After a while, (Y/N) felt Utsuro place his arm around her and they started running away. She didn't look back— she was curious but she was more worried about Utsuro. He was quiet the whole time they raced back to her house.
The reason Utsuro was so quiet was because he finally got the answer he was looking for. What it was he really felt and what was the actual reason he suddenly decided to swoop in and save her.
— because he loved her.
He realized that he couldn't bear to live without her. He couldn't lose her, he wanted to be with her. Somehow, along the way he found himself not being able to live without her. She placed herself deep in his heart that even he, himself couldn't carve her out of it no matter what he did.
And for the first time ever— he felt scared.
Not because he was intimidated by the enemy, or because he thought he was facing an enemy stronger that he was— but scared of the thought that he could lsoe her.
She wasn't immortal like he was. She only had one life— and even if she did come back to life somehow, she wouldn't be the same.
Because for him— there was only 1 (Y/N) in this world.
And she was the only (Y/N) he would ever love for all his remaining life. So, he wanted her to love him for the rest of her one life.
When they reached her house, she noticed that Utsuro had blood on his kimono. Worried, she took out the first aid kit and started examining him if he had any injuries.
But, then Utsuro grabbed her wrist and looked at her with this weird look in his eyes. "It's not my blood." He spoke calmly and (Y/N)'s mouth opened like she wanted to say something but she quickly closed her mouth again.
"..." Utsuro sighed when he saw her hesitation, her (E/C) eyes cast downwards in a confused gaze as if she was just trying to organize her thoughts and understand what just happened.
Slowly, he let go of her wrist and turned his head to the side. Lifting one hand up to gently ruffle his hair he frowned.
"...This is why I told you not to give it to me." He clicked his tongue and (Y/N) looked at him curiously. Her face showing that of complete unawareness and cluelessness.
"Don't give you what?" She asked him and Utsuro sighed as he looked at her and placed his hand on her cheek, leaning close to caress her cheek with his thumb, he spoke in his deep, husky voice.
"When you sheltered me from the rain, I told you don't give it to me— your kindness." His eyes trail over her lips as he moves his fingers over to trace the outline of her lips with his thumb.
"The times we spent together here, this simple life with you..." He paused and his red eyes made contact with her (E/C) ones making her blush. "I told you don't give it to me then too— your love."
Then, he moved his hand to grab her hand and gently lifted it to his face. "And lastly, what happened today. No matter how much I told you don't give it to me— your devotion. You've given me many things I never knew I needed." He looked up and smirked at her.
"Now, it's my turn." He spoke and smiled and he leaned down. "To give you my kindness, my love and my devotion." He finishes with a gentle kiss on the back of her hand before he looked at her and faintly smiled.
"....If you'll let me. Then, I will love you for all of my life."
"I....." (Y/N)'s eyes widened as her breath hitched in her throat, her cheeks felt warm, her heart was racing and she felt touched by everything he just said.
Without knowing it— She loved the feeling of being with him as well. He became someone she kept searching for in a crowd of people, when she received good news he wanted to be the one she told first.
She loved him— more than she thought she would.
"I'm....willing to devote everything I am to you too, because— you're the only one I'll love for every life I'll live with you."
------------------------------------------
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Hey....Is my writing getting worse and worse? I dont know...Im sorry
TsukinoUsagi30 This is your Utsuro request. Hope I did a good job with it. I really hope you like it. It was my 1st time writing Utsuro, since I only ever got requests for Shoyo ♥️
I might do the update every 2 days thingy, I think...Im not sure hahahaa....My writing is getting bad so Im sorry. I'll try to make up for it!! 😤♥️
Requests still open!! ♥️♥️♥️