Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)...

By Alpha423

347K 7K 1K

You were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happe... More

Bio
Harem
Season 1 Chapter 1: What are we here?
Season 1 Chapter 2: Red Gets a Delivery
Season 1 Chapter 3: The Rookie
Season 1 Chapter 4: Head BNF in Charge
Season 1 Chapter 5: The Package is In the Open
Season 1 Chapter 6: 1.21 Giga-Whats
Season 1 Chapter 7: Check Out the Treads on That Chick
Season 1 Chapter 8: Don't Ph34r The Reaper
Season 1 Chapter 9: After Church
Season 1 Chapter 10: A Shadow of His Former Self
Season 1 Chapter 11: Knock Knock. Who's There? Pain!
Season 1 Chapter 12: Down, But Not Out
Season 1 Chapter 13: Human Peer Bonding
Season 1 Chapter 14: Romier Than It Looks
Season 1 Chapter 15: How the Other Half Lives
Season 1 Chapter 16: A Slightly Crueler Cruller
Season 1 Chapter 17: Points of Origin
Season 1 Chapter 18: SPF 0
Season 1 Chapter 19: Last One Out, Hit The Lights
Season 2 Chapter 20: Everything Old is New Again
Season 2 Episode 21: Motion to Adjourn
Season 2 Episode 22: Red vs Bleu
Season 2 Episode 23: The Joy of Toggling
Season 2 Episode 24: Sweet Ride
Season 2 Episode 25: Last Words
Season 2 Episode 26: Nobody Likes You
Season 2 Episode 27: Nine-Tenths of the Law
Season 2 Episode 28: In Stereo Where Available
Season 2 Episode 28.5: The Last Episode Ever
Season 2 Episode 29: Radar Love
Season 2 Episode 30: I Dream of Meanie
Season 2 Episode 31: Room For Rent
Season 2 Episode 32: Me, Myself and You
Season 2 Episode 33: An Audience of Dumb
Season 2 Episode 34: Aftermath, Before Biology
Season 2 Episode 35: What's Mine Is Yours
Season 2 Episode 36: Dummies Are Forever
Season 2 Episode 37: Dealer Incentive
Season 2 Episode 38: K.I.T. B.F.F. (Keep In Touch, Best Friends Forever)
Season 3 Episode 39: The Best Laid Plans
Season 3 Episode 40: Visiting Old Friends
Season 3 Episode 41: Let's Get Together
Season 3 Episode 42: You're the Bomb, Yo
Season 3 Episode 43: Make Your Time
Season 3 Episode 44: We Must Rebuild
Season 3 Episode 45: New Toys
Season 3 Episode 46: We're Being Watched
Season 3 Episode 47: It's a Biological Fact
Season 3 Episode 48: Heavy Metal
Season 3 Episode 49: Roaming Charges
Season 3 Episode 50: Silver Lining
Season 3 Episode 51: Episode 50 Part 2
Season 3 Episode 52: Have We Met?
Season 3 Episode 53: Let's Come to Order
Season 3 Episode 54: Hello My Name is Andrew
Season 3 Episode 55: Defusing the Situation
Season 3 Episode 56: Calm Before the Storm
Season 3 Episode 57: The Storm
Season 4 Episode 58: Familiar Surroundings
Season 4 Episode 59: Hunting Time
Season 4 Episode 60: Fight or Fright
Season 4 Episode 61: Fair Competition
Season 4 Episode 62: Lost in Triangulation
Season 4 Episode 63: The Hard Stop
Season 4 Episode 64: Previous Commitments
Season 4 Episode 65: Looking For Group
Season 4 Episode 66: Exploring Our Differences
Season 4 Episode 67: Setting a High Bar
Season 4 Episode 68: Getting All Misty
Season 4 Episode 69: Talk Of The Town
Season 4 Episode 70: Sneaking In
Season 4 Episode 71: You Keep Using That Word
Season 4 Episode 72: Getting Debriefed
Season 4 Episode 73: Under The Weather
Season 4 Episode 74: Right To Remain Silenced
Season 4 Episode 75: Things Are Looking Down
Season 4 Episode 76: Two For One
Season 4 Episode 77: The Arrival
Out of Mind Part 1
Out of Mind Part 2
Out of Mind Part 3
Out of Mind Part 4
Out of Mind Part 5
Season 5 Episode 78: You Can't Park Here
Season 5 Episode 79: Got Your Back
Season 5 Episode 80: Baby Steps
Season 5 Episode 81: Sibling Arrivalries
Season 5 Episode 82: The Grif Reaper
Season 5 Episode 83: In Memoriam
Season 5 Episode 84: Strong Male Figure
Season 5 Episode 85: Yellow Fever
Season 5 Episode 86: Brass Tacks
Season 5 Episode 87: The Nesting Theory
Season 5 Episode 88: Spelunked
Season 5 Episode 89: The Haystack
Season 5 Episode 90: Terms and Provisions
Season 5 Episode 91: Missed Direction
Season 5 Episode 92: Where Credit Is Due
Season 5 Episode 93: Biting The Hand
Season 5 Episode 94: Tucker Knows Best
Season 5 Episode 95: Loading...
Season 5 Episode 96: The Wrong Crowd
Season 5 Episode 97: Uncommunicado
Season 5 Episode 98: Same Old, Same Old
Season 5 Episode 99: Repent, The End Is Near
Season 5 Episode 100: Why Were We Here?
Recovery One part 1:
Recovery One part 2:
Recovery One part 3:
Recovery One part 4:
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 1
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 2
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 3
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 4
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 5
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 6
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 7
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 8
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 9
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 10
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 11
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 12
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 13
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 14
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 15
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 16
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 17
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 18
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 19 & Epilogue
Relocated Chapter 1
Relocated Chapter 2
Relocated Chapter 3
Relocated Chapter 4
Recreation Chapter 1: Don't Get Me Started
Recreation Chapter 2: Free Refills
Recreation Chapter 3: Visiting Hours
Recreation Chapter 4: Catching Up
Recreation Chapter 5: Local Host
Recreation Chapter 6: One New Message
Recreation Chapter 7: Bon Voyage
Recreation Chapter 8: Directions
Recreation Chapter 9: My House, From Here
Recreation Chapter 10: Lay of the Land
Recreation Chapter 11: Dumb Cop, Bad Cop
Recreation Chapter 12: Well Hello
Recreation Chapter 13: Called Up
Recreation Chapter 14: The Installation
Recreation Chapter 15: Watch the Flank
Recreation Chapter 16: Retention Deficit
Recreation Chapter 17: Trust Issues
Recreation Chapter 18: Hang Time
Recreation Chapter 19: Think You Know Someone
Revelation Chapter 1: For Those Of You Just Joining Us...
Revelation Chapter 2: Drink Your Ovaltine
Revelation Chapter 3: Upon Further Review
Revelation Chapter 4: Recovering One
Revelation Chapter 5: Fourth and Twenty
Revelation Chapter 6: Towing Package
Revelation Chapter 7: And Don't Call Me Shirley
Revelation Chapter 8: Perusing The Archive
Revelation Chapter 9: Backup Plans
Revelation Chapter 10: This One Goes To Eleven
Revelation Chapter 11: Restraining Orders
Revelation Chapter 12: Snooze Button
Revelation Chapter 13: Battle of the Exes
Revelation Chapter 14: Reconfiguration
Revelation Chapter 15: Check Your Local Listings
Revelation Chapter 16: Standardized Testing
Revelation Chapter 17: Tenth Percentile
Revelation Chapter 18: Rally Cap
Revelation Chapter 19: Reunion
Revelation Chapter 20: n+1
Season 9 Chapter 1: Rounding Error
Season 9 Chapter 2: The Twins
Season 9 Chapter 3: Number One & Number Two
Season 9 Chapter 4: Evacuation Plan
Season 9 Chapter 5: Realignment
Season 9 Chapter 6: Familiar Feelings
Season 9 Chapter 7: Case File 01.045
Season 9 Chapter 9: Captive Audience
Season 9 Chapter 10: Introductions
Season 9 Chapter 11: Lifting the Veil
Season 9 Chapter 12: Mid-game Substitution
Season 9 Chapter 13: Planning the Heist
Season 9 Chapter 14: Son of a Bitch
Season 9 Chapter 15: The Sarcophagus
Season 9 Chapter 16: Hell's Angel
Season 9 Chapter 17: Spiral
Season 9 Chapter 18: Labor Pains
Season 9 Chapter 19: Whole Lot of Shaking
Season 9 Chapter 20: Hate to Say Goodbye

Season 9 Chapter 8: Shaking the Foundation

999 22 0
By Alpha423


Fade in to the Reds finishing the robot

Simmons: Euh, there. Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on. Probably should've gotten a bigger one.

Donut: It's not how big the switch is, Simmons; it's how you flip it.

Simmons: Donut, shut up!

Ghost: You interrupted my nap for this... why

Sarge: You'll know soon, Alright, robot's all done. Time to fire it up! Let's hit the old power button. Who wants to do the honors? Grif?

Grif: Meh.

Sarge: Well said. Donut?

Donut: Sorry, just clear-coated my nails. I'm not chipping one of these babies.

Sarge: Alright, Ghost?

Ghost: I just want to sleep.

Sarge: I'm proud of you! Simmons

Simmons: I-d-i- it would be an honor, Sir. Uh, that is, if you're sure you don't wanna do it.

Sarge: Now that you mention it, it does sound kinda fun. I always did like pushing things.

Simmons: Oh... okay.

Donut: Hey Sarge, what's this robot gonna do for us anyway?

Sarge: Oh you know, the usual robot stuff: math we don't wanna do-

Simmons: Right, like that exists.

Sarge: Menial tasks like, maintaining the vehicle-

Simmons: Maintenance is crucial.

Sarge: Organization-

Simmons: Hm, maybe I should make a list of all the robot's duties.

Sarge: And basically any task that no-one wants to do or is part of anyone's official job description.

Ghost: So he can do all my work and I can just sleep

Sarge: Yes

Ghost: I love this robot

Simmons: Additional work? What you mean like extra credit? No-one told me there was extra credit. What is it. I'll do it.

Donut: Hey Simmons, sounds like this robot is going to be doing all the jobs you do.

Simmons: Heh heh heh... yeahh.

Donut: Well don't worry. I'm sure Sarge will find some other responsibilities for ya. Right Sarge?

Sarge: ...

Donut: Sarge?

Sarge: Huh? Oh right. One of the robot's functions is to answer awkward questions that I don't want to. Better turn him on. Here we go, let me just get this panel up. Make some specific noise and then drop it on the ground...

Earthquake?

Sarge: Holy guacamole!

Simmons: Gaaaah, another earthquake! Everyone institute emergency plan! Hold on a second let me put on my Marshall's vest. Everyone just remain calm, whatever you do don't-

Earthquake stops

Simmons: Panic.

Donut: Looks like the earthquake stopped.

Simmons: Yeah.

Donut: You're just disappointed that no-one got to use the emergency plan, aren't you Simmons.

Simmons: Sorta.

Donut: Aw, there there, don't feel bad. No-one's read it anyway.

Simmons: Oh. That's a relief.

Lopez: Hola. Me llamo Lopez. Gracias por la activacion de mi.

Donut: Ooh-hoo, robot's on!

Lopez: ¿Como estas?

Simmons: Uhh, is he speaking Spanish?

Donut: Sounds like it.

Simmons: Maybe the quake messed something up when you activated him, Sarge. Could be a polarity issue...

Sarge: Actually I ordered the Espanol speech unit on purpose.

Simmons: You did?

Sarge: Yeah. I thought if we had a little multiculturalism around here, we could all learn Spanish together. Get closer as a unit.

Donut: Speaking of getting our units closer-

Simmons: Not now Donut. Seems inconvenient Sarge.

Sarge: Yeah it does. Don't know what the hell I was thinkin'. Seems really outta character for me.

Earthquake

Lopez: ¡Alarma! ¡Alarma! ¡Terremoto! ¡Alarma! ¡Alarma! ¡Terremoto! ¡Alarma!

Donut: Hey, look Simmons! He's already doing your job!

Simmons: Great.

Donut: Want me to get your vest?

Cut to the Blues over at Blue Base

Tucker: Whoa, there's another quake.

Church: Yup.

Tucker: You don't seem too worried.

Earthquake stops

Church: No I'm not. Because I know all this, isn't real.

Tucker: Not real? You mean not real like your fake girlfriend?

Church: My g- no no no, my girlfriend is real, it's the world that's fake. Yknow, everything in it.

Caboose: Aaearthquake!

Church: That was ten seconds ago. Man, you really need to get your reflexes checked.

Caboose: Maybe I was just early for the next one. Now you'll be ready for when it happens.

Church: Oh shut up.

Caboose: Meteor.

Tucker: So everything in the world is fake, except your girlfriend.

Church: Right.

Tucker: Who's in the world.

Church: Yes.

Tucker: Where everything is fake.

Church: Correct.

Caboose: Well I am following all of this as well as I follow everything else.

Church: You see, all this, see- okay, we're just, inside a memory unit. Which is sitting in a snowbank, somewhere in the world. The real world.

Tucker: A snowbank?

Church: Right, and that memory unit is dying, so, we're feeling all these like you know, little quakes and stuff.

Tucker: If we're in a snowbank, why isn't it cold?

Church: I don't know, it, it- it doesn't work like that it's, it's like being inside of a snowglobe.

Tucker: Yeah, but a snowglobe has snow in it.

Caboose: I thought it was a globe made of snow.

Church: Hugh, you're not getting it- okay, try to think of it as like, uhh... it's like a diorama.

Caboose: Ah yes, cafeteria for dinosaurs.

Church: Shut up Caboose.

Caboose: Thai food.

Tucker: So this memory snowbank thing: it's just sitting there, and we're inside it doing all this stuff. Why?

Church: I don't know, I- I guess it's so that I can, you know, figure out about Tex and... what I'm supposed to do. And if I can't figure it out well, then I just need to... move on to the next memory unit I guess.

Tucker: Rihight. And that's about finding those Freelancer guys you talked about before.

Church: Exactly.

Tucker: And going on some big adventure with them and finding the snow memory.

Church: Memory unit.

Tucker: Whatever, and then going into it.

Church: Yes.

Tucker: Even though we're already inside it.

Church: And so on, and so forth.

Tucker: And so on and so on, until what happens?

Church: I-I don't know, if I knew that I could stop already.

Tucker: And we have to do all that before the memory unit laying in the snow, dies, and we're all crushed by falling rocks.

In the background, a giant boulder falls from above (as opposed to falling from below?)

Tucker: Good timing.

Church: Yeah it was.

Caboose: Well if only there had been some type of warning system in place.

Tucker: Okay, I think it all makes sense now.

Church: Uh, good, I'm glad.

Tucker: Dude, that was a fucking joke, I have no clue what's up.

Church: You know, it doesn't seem that hard to me man.

Tucker: I know one way to check: hey Caboose, explain what's going on. Recap for us.

Caboose: We're going to eat lunch with dinosaurs.

Tucker: Yep, perfect sense.

Caboose: I'm going to eat a giant egg!

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