Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)...

By Alpha423

348K 7.1K 1K

You were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happe... More

Bio
Harem
Season 1 Chapter 1: What are we here?
Season 1 Chapter 2: Red Gets a Delivery
Season 1 Chapter 3: The Rookie
Season 1 Chapter 4: Head BNF in Charge
Season 1 Chapter 5: The Package is In the Open
Season 1 Chapter 6: 1.21 Giga-Whats
Season 1 Chapter 7: Check Out the Treads on That Chick
Season 1 Chapter 8: Don't Ph34r The Reaper
Season 1 Chapter 9: After Church
Season 1 Chapter 10: A Shadow of His Former Self
Season 1 Chapter 11: Knock Knock. Who's There? Pain!
Season 1 Chapter 12: Down, But Not Out
Season 1 Chapter 13: Human Peer Bonding
Season 1 Chapter 14: Romier Than It Looks
Season 1 Chapter 15: How the Other Half Lives
Season 1 Chapter 16: A Slightly Crueler Cruller
Season 1 Chapter 17: Points of Origin
Season 1 Chapter 18: SPF 0
Season 1 Chapter 19: Last One Out, Hit The Lights
Season 2 Chapter 20: Everything Old is New Again
Season 2 Episode 21: Motion to Adjourn
Season 2 Episode 22: Red vs Bleu
Season 2 Episode 23: The Joy of Toggling
Season 2 Episode 24: Sweet Ride
Season 2 Episode 25: Last Words
Season 2 Episode 26: Nobody Likes You
Season 2 Episode 27: Nine-Tenths of the Law
Season 2 Episode 28: In Stereo Where Available
Season 2 Episode 28.5: The Last Episode Ever
Season 2 Episode 29: Radar Love
Season 2 Episode 30: I Dream of Meanie
Season 2 Episode 31: Room For Rent
Season 2 Episode 32: Me, Myself and You
Season 2 Episode 33: An Audience of Dumb
Season 2 Episode 34: Aftermath, Before Biology
Season 2 Episode 35: What's Mine Is Yours
Season 2 Episode 36: Dummies Are Forever
Season 2 Episode 37: Dealer Incentive
Season 2 Episode 38: K.I.T. B.F.F. (Keep In Touch, Best Friends Forever)
Season 3 Episode 39: The Best Laid Plans
Season 3 Episode 40: Visiting Old Friends
Season 3 Episode 41: Let's Get Together
Season 3 Episode 42: You're the Bomb, Yo
Season 3 Episode 43: Make Your Time
Season 3 Episode 44: We Must Rebuild
Season 3 Episode 45: New Toys
Season 3 Episode 46: We're Being Watched
Season 3 Episode 47: It's a Biological Fact
Season 3 Episode 48: Heavy Metal
Season 3 Episode 49: Roaming Charges
Season 3 Episode 50: Silver Lining
Season 3 Episode 51: Episode 50 Part 2
Season 3 Episode 52: Have We Met?
Season 3 Episode 53: Let's Come to Order
Season 3 Episode 54: Hello My Name is Andrew
Season 3 Episode 55: Defusing the Situation
Season 3 Episode 56: Calm Before the Storm
Season 3 Episode 57: The Storm
Season 4 Episode 58: Familiar Surroundings
Season 4 Episode 59: Hunting Time
Season 4 Episode 60: Fight or Fright
Season 4 Episode 61: Fair Competition
Season 4 Episode 62: Lost in Triangulation
Season 4 Episode 63: The Hard Stop
Season 4 Episode 64: Previous Commitments
Season 4 Episode 65: Looking For Group
Season 4 Episode 66: Exploring Our Differences
Season 4 Episode 67: Setting a High Bar
Season 4 Episode 68: Getting All Misty
Season 4 Episode 69: Talk Of The Town
Season 4 Episode 70: Sneaking In
Season 4 Episode 71: You Keep Using That Word
Season 4 Episode 72: Getting Debriefed
Season 4 Episode 73: Under The Weather
Season 4 Episode 74: Right To Remain Silenced
Season 4 Episode 75: Things Are Looking Down
Season 4 Episode 76: Two For One
Season 4 Episode 77: The Arrival
Out of Mind Part 1
Out of Mind Part 2
Out of Mind Part 3
Out of Mind Part 4
Out of Mind Part 5
Season 5 Episode 78: You Can't Park Here
Season 5 Episode 79: Got Your Back
Season 5 Episode 80: Baby Steps
Season 5 Episode 81: Sibling Arrivalries
Season 5 Episode 82: The Grif Reaper
Season 5 Episode 83: In Memoriam
Season 5 Episode 84: Strong Male Figure
Season 5 Episode 85: Yellow Fever
Season 5 Episode 86: Brass Tacks
Season 5 Episode 87: The Nesting Theory
Season 5 Episode 88: Spelunked
Season 5 Episode 89: The Haystack
Season 5 Episode 90: Terms and Provisions
Season 5 Episode 91: Missed Direction
Season 5 Episode 92: Where Credit Is Due
Season 5 Episode 93: Biting The Hand
Season 5 Episode 94: Tucker Knows Best
Season 5 Episode 95: Loading...
Season 5 Episode 96: The Wrong Crowd
Season 5 Episode 97: Uncommunicado
Season 5 Episode 98: Same Old, Same Old
Season 5 Episode 99: Repent, The End Is Near
Season 5 Episode 100: Why Were We Here?
Recovery One part 1:
Recovery One part 2:
Recovery One part 3:
Recovery One part 4:
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 1
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 2
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 3
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 4
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 5
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 6
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 7
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 8
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 9
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 10
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 11
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 12
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 13
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 14
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 15
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 16
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 17
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 18
Reconstruction Season 6 Chapter 19 & Epilogue
Relocated Chapter 1
Relocated Chapter 2
Relocated Chapter 3
Relocated Chapter 4
Recreation Chapter 1: Don't Get Me Started
Recreation Chapter 2: Free Refills
Recreation Chapter 3: Visiting Hours
Recreation Chapter 4: Catching Up
Recreation Chapter 5: Local Host
Recreation Chapter 6: One New Message
Recreation Chapter 7: Bon Voyage
Recreation Chapter 8: Directions
Recreation Chapter 9: My House, From Here
Recreation Chapter 10: Lay of the Land
Recreation Chapter 11: Dumb Cop, Bad Cop
Recreation Chapter 12: Well Hello
Recreation Chapter 13: Called Up
Recreation Chapter 14: The Installation
Recreation Chapter 15: Watch the Flank
Recreation Chapter 16: Retention Deficit
Recreation Chapter 17: Trust Issues
Recreation Chapter 18: Hang Time
Recreation Chapter 19: Think You Know Someone
Revelation Chapter 1: For Those Of You Just Joining Us...
Revelation Chapter 2: Drink Your Ovaltine
Revelation Chapter 3: Upon Further Review
Revelation Chapter 4: Recovering One
Revelation Chapter 5: Fourth and Twenty
Revelation Chapter 6: Towing Package
Revelation Chapter 8: Perusing The Archive
Revelation Chapter 9: Backup Plans
Revelation Chapter 10: This One Goes To Eleven
Revelation Chapter 11: Restraining Orders
Revelation Chapter 12: Snooze Button
Revelation Chapter 13: Battle of the Exes
Revelation Chapter 14: Reconfiguration
Revelation Chapter 15: Check Your Local Listings
Revelation Chapter 16: Standardized Testing
Revelation Chapter 17: Tenth Percentile
Revelation Chapter 18: Rally Cap
Revelation Chapter 19: Reunion
Revelation Chapter 20: n+1
Season 9 Chapter 1: Rounding Error
Season 9 Chapter 2: The Twins
Season 9 Chapter 3: Number One & Number Two
Season 9 Chapter 4: Evacuation Plan
Season 9 Chapter 5: Realignment
Season 9 Chapter 6: Familiar Feelings
Season 9 Chapter 7: Case File 01.045
Season 9 Chapter 8: Shaking the Foundation
Season 9 Chapter 9: Captive Audience
Season 9 Chapter 10: Introductions
Season 9 Chapter 11: Lifting the Veil
Season 9 Chapter 12: Mid-game Substitution
Season 9 Chapter 13: Planning the Heist
Season 9 Chapter 14: Son of a Bitch
Season 9 Chapter 15: The Sarcophagus
Season 9 Chapter 16: Hell's Angel
Season 9 Chapter 17: Spiral
Season 9 Chapter 18: Labor Pains
Season 9 Chapter 19: Whole Lot of Shaking
Season 9 Chapter 20: Hate to Say Goodbye

Revelation Chapter 7: And Don't Call Me Shirley

845 23 2
By Alpha423


Fade in to Wash and the Meta looking at Doc and the piece of wall he's stuck in, upright in the field

Washington: Come on, can't you get him out of there? He's just stuck in a few rocks.

Meta: (something)

Washington: Why can't anything ever be easy? Doc, I want you to tell me everything you know about the Reds and Blues.

Doc: You know more than me, I just got here.

Washington: Hit him.

Meta hits Doc

Doc: Oah!

Washington: You worked with them before. Do they have any hideouts, anywhere they go when they're in trouble.

Doc: I don't know.

Washington: Hit him again.

Take 2

Doc: Ow!

Washington: Did Simmons say where Sarge and Grif were? You can either answer me, or I can have the Meta beat it out of you. Or, I can beat it out of you. I think I've earned it.

Doc: Man, you guys are really awful at the Good Cop/Bad Cop thing. You're like, Bad Cop/Even Worse Cop.

Washington: Tell you what Meta, let's just shoot him in the chest, see if we can pull the audio logs out of his helmet.

Doc: Uh-ah- he said something about a distress call!

Washington: Hit him again.

Meta: (something)

Doc: And sand! H-he mentioned sand!

Washington: Sand...

Cut to the Reds spying on Ghost, The Girls, Church and Caboose from near the end of last episode

Church: Alright, well, let's go then. I actually thought it would take longer to convince you. Come on. I wanna get to the facility before nightfall.

Sarge: Facility, eh? I knew the Blues were up to somethin'. Come on men, let's get after those Blues! Sounds like this is the big opportunity we've been waitin' for.

Grif: You mean our opportunity to find a place to hole up until this all blows over?

Simmons: Some place that isn't a desert?

Sarge: No! A place to finally restore the Blues to Command's database. Get yer typing fingers ready Simmons!

Simmons: (sigh), okay, I'll bring my carpal tunnel braces.

Sarge: If we're going to follow them we'll need a vehicle.

Grif: Well I'm sure we can grab another one from the camp down there.

Simmons: Why do we need a vehicle, the Blues are walking. I'm sure we can keep up with them on foot.

Grif: On foot?!

Sarge: Uh, Simmons? We're the Reds. We don't walk anywhere. We travel as the good Lord intended: in the largest possible vehicle with the maximum horsepower allowed by local law enforcement. And if there's no cars available, we find the biggest, nastiest, meanest, land animal we possibly can, beat the crap out of it, and saddle that puppy up.

Grif: On foot. Shame on you Simmons. Shame on you.

Simmons: Sorry.

Sarge: Let's just forget you ever mentioned it.

Grif: I think this should go on his permanent record.

Simmons: Oh just go get the fucking jeep jackass.

Cut to Tucker on the pillar, and the Reds drive off in the background

Tucker: Hey, where are you guys going!? Wait! Gah, dammit! Hey guys, listen. I know you want your supercool piece of technology back. Those guys just took off. Probably to look for it. If you let me go, I can track it down for you, and bring it back. No? Okay then, forget it. Oh my God look, a next gen smartphone! Can you believe they'd leave that just layin' around?

The aliens turn to look, and Tucker jumps off the pillar and starts his motorbike

Tucker: Fooled by the old prototype trick. Classic. Well, seeya bitches I'm outta here. What the- out of gas? Hey uh, you guys have any gas?

Weapons cocked...

Tucker: You know what? Fuck it, I'm just gonna run.

Well, Ghost, The Girls, Church and Caboose have arrived... somewhere

Church: Alright, I think this is it.

Caboose: This? This doesn't look like anything.

Church: Yeah. It's not supposed to, that's kinda the idea. Come on, this way.

Caboose: Man. You really need to clean this place up.

Ghost: It's supposed to look like this so no one will find it.

Church: Guys!

Caboose: Coming!

Ghost: Yeah, yeah.

Church: Come on. Oh yeah here we go. It's this way.

Caboose: My this way or your this way?

Church: There is no- it's the same this way. Okay yeah, this is, it. I think.

Caboose: It's a wall. We came all this way for a wall?

Church: Caboose!

Caboose: Sorry.

Behind them, on a tree, a screen comes on

Caboose: It's a really, great wall.

Ghost: Can both of you just turn around.

FILSS: Hello. This is a private facility. Visitors are not welcome. Please leave immediately. Or, we will be forced to take lethal measures, to ensure the safety of our property.

Caboose: That is great.

South: God dammit.

FILSS: You have thirty seconds to comply, or die. Have a nice day!

Caboose: Sheila? Is that you?

FILSS: No. I am the Freelancer Integrated Logistics and Security System. You may call me FILSS. It is a pleasure to meet you. You now have, fifteen, seconds to live.

Church: Whoa. Dying sounds like a bad idea. Maybe we should leave.

FILSS: Oh my, the Director. I am so sorry, I did not recognize you Sir. It has been such a long time since you have visited. You look very different.

Church: Talkin' to me?

Ghost: Of course she is.

FILSS: Yes. You are the Director of Project Freelancer, are you not?

Church: Oh uh, yeah. Of course, that's- totally me. I just haven't been around because I've been, doing, you know... Director stuff. Can't really get into it. Secret project.

FILSS: How may I assist you today?

Church: Can we uh... Can we come in?

FILSS: Certainly.

The wall opens in front of them

FILSS: Please watch your step.

Caboose: Kinda spooky in there.

Church: Yeah... Why don't you go first?

Caboose: Me?

Church: Well I mean, you're the one with, the gun, and everything.

Caboose: Yeah, but the tree seemed to like you best. Uh hey Sheila could you-

FILSS: Are you speaking to me?

Church: We're just kinda used to calling you, by that name? Um, maybe you should just answer him when he calls you that. Probably easier for you to change than it is for him. He's kinda dumb.

FILSS: Alright. I will respond to that name as well. You are the Director after all.

Church: Right. I am.

Connie: Well... let's see what you been working on... "Director".

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