I look over at the clock, and see the time, 2:44 am. His arm is loosely draped around me. This is the third time this week, that I have ended up in his bed. So I slowly get up from where i was laying, and begin to collect my clothes to leave.
I sneak out a lot, I try not to be here when he wakes up. When I make it out of the house, I text Kie asking if she could pick me up. Which obviously she said yes. " You need to stop seeing him, " she comments as we begin to drive away.
" Yeah I know, and I think this will be the last time, " I tell her.
" I'm just saying, he only sleeps with you or comes to you when he's lonely, " she states.
" I know, I just- " I stop myself not really knowing how to say what I'm thinking.
" Just what? Do you like him? " She asks.
" No, God no. I think he's starting to like me, " I tell her.
" Oh shit, " she comments.
" Yeah, " I comment. " I probably shouldn't have started sleeping with him in the first place, " I comment towards her. And then we arrived at the Chateau, and the boys are asleep obviously it's basically 3 in the morning. I just crash on the bed with Kie, and we both fall asleep. The next morning we are greeted by John B walking through the house.
" Morning, " he comments.
" Morning, " I groan standing up from the bed.
" You okay? " He asks.
" Yeah, didn't sleep well last night, " I tell him. He gives me a nod.
Later that day, we're trying to get Sarah to come with us. But since Ward is not letting her hung out with John B for whatever the reason he has. I am going to pick her up, because Ward likes me for some reason. I knock on the door, and Wheezie is the one to answer the door. " Hey Y/n! " She chimes.
" Hey Wheezie, do you know where Sarah is? Her and I have plans, " I tell her.
" Sarah! Y/n's here! " Wheezie screams. I look up to see Sarah.
" Come on up! " She tells me. Which I do, and right as I was about to close Sarah's door. I make eye contact with Rafe, which when we're not sleeping together I don't really know how to act around him. So don't do anything, and close the door. " Okay so what exactly are we doing today? " She asks.
" Going out to the marsh, so just wear a swimsuit if you want to bring some drinks you can. Kie usually does that, you ready though? " I ask her. She nods towards me. After a few minutes of her finding the things we need, her and I begin to head out. " Bye Mr. Ward, " I add.
" Bye sweetie, remember you're always welcomed here, " he tells me. I give him a nod.
There's something I should probably tell you about the weird relationship between Rafe and I. Kiara is the only one who knows, and I only told her because she saw him walking out of my room. But I don't know how Sarah would react if I told her I was sleeping with her older brother.
After hanging at the marsh for a few hours, we went back to make a plan. And it included Sarah, but Sarah was being watched by Rafe basically like a lot. Because Ward thinks that if it's later at night she'll be trying to go see John B. " So basically we need someone to distract Rafe, while she sneaks out of her room? " JJ asks. We all nod towards each other.
" I'll do it, " I comment.
" Are you sure? " Pope asks.
" No, you should, he has a soft spot for you for some reason, " Sarah comments. I give her a nod.
" He has soft spot for her? " JJ asks.
" He has a soft spot? " Pope asks. Which Pope's question kinda made me chuckle.
" So while you guys are in the back helping her get out, I'll be in the front distracting Rafe, " I state. They all nod.
Rafe's P.O.V.
Someone knocked on the door, and since I was already downstairs I just answered it. I open it to see Y/n. " Hey, " she says.
" Hey, what are you doing here? " I ask stepping outside.
" I need to talk to you, and I thought it would probably be better in person than over the phone, " she comments. I nod towards her, and we move over to the chairs.
" Why'd you leave this morning? " I ask her.
" You know I don't stay the night, you don't want someone walking in or something, " she states.
" Or you don't want someone walking in, " I comment.
" Rafe, " she mutters.
" I'm serious, I don't care if someone walks in. I want to wake up with you next to me, " I tell her.
" Rafe I came here, because I think we need to stop doing this, " she says, and that hurt.
" Why? " I ask.
" Because what we have isn't healthy, we're just using each other as something for sex. We're from two different worlds, and if someone finds out that I've been sleeping with a kook or you sleeping with a pogue a war would break out, " she states.
" Is that it? " I ask.
" Yeah, come on you can't think it is actually healthy right? " She asks.
" I know it's not healthy, but we could make it healthy, " I tell her. She nods her head. " Why not? " I ask.
" Because no matter what, we're both unhealthy and we can't make a relationship healthy if we're not healthy ourselves, " she comments.
" I'm healthy, " I tell her.
" Not mentally, Rafe you're addicted to drugs and you're an alcoholic. And me I have my own mental struggles, it wouldn't work between us, " she states. " The last 6 months was fun though, I loved getting to know the real Rafe, " she whispers. " I should go, goodnight Rafe, " she adds.
" Did you start liking me? " I ask standing up looking at her.
" No, " she states. " Did you? " She asks.
" No, " I comment. She gives me a nod. " Goodnight Y/n, " I add. She gives me a small smile, and then starts walking to her car. " I'm sorry! " I scream. She turns around to face me, and slowly starts coming back to me. " I don't want this to be done, okay, I started liking you okay Y/l/n! " I scream.
" Rafe we won't work, " she states, I grab a hold of her cheeks pulling her closer to me. I slammed my lips against her, and she kissed back. But not like she used too. I could tell she wasn't going to let anything happen. But she kissed back, and once we separated from the kiss she looked at me like she did before. Nothing but numbness. " I'm sorry, " she whispers. Before walking off away from me, and I knew that this time she wasn't going to turn back around if I told her too.