Fade in to Donut at Command
Counsellor: Private Donut, we want to debrief you now that your tour in Blood Gulch is over.
Donut: Great! Wait, over?
Counsellor: I'm just going to ask you some, standard questions to rate your experience, and I will be filling out a form based on your responses. Do you understand?
Donut: Yes Sir.
Counsellor: Alright, then let's begin. During your deployment you were assigned to the Red Team, is that correct?
Donut: That's right! You can tell by my lightish red armor.
Counsellor: I'm, a bit confused. By 'lightish red,' do you mean pink?
Donut: No, I mean lightish red.
Counsellor: ... Let's come back to this during the free form period.
Donut: Okeedoke.
Counsellor: Now, as to your experience in Blood Gulch, would you say it was 'satisfactory,' 'somewhat satisfactory,' or 'unsatisfactory?'
Donut: I would sayyyy... satisfactory.
Counsellor: Alright, now I want you to look at this picture.
Shows the place where they were 'teleported' too after the explosion
Donut: Oh, hey, I know where that is.
Counsellor: Which of the following best describes this picture? Would you say it is a) the new location where your team was assigned, b) the source of a mysterious energy reading, or c) -
Donut: That's just where we landed.
Counsellor: Where you landed. Can you elaborate?
Donut: Yeah, we were defusing a bomb by this guy Omega, but then the bomb went off and it was such a huge explosion, that it totally threw us in to the future and we landed there in that place.
Counsellor: I'm not sure I understand. The future?
Donut: Sarge said that since we were surrounded by ice when the bomb went off, and then it was all sand, the ice age must have ended, and that would have taken a reeeally long time. So, it must have pushed us in to the future.
Counsellor: I, don't have a checkbox for that. So I'm just going to write down 'other.'
Donut: Yeah, other works. I like other.
Counsellor: Well, I suppose there's no reason to ask the rest of our questions. Thank you for a very, enlightening interview.
Cut to Ghost, Caboose and Donut in Blue Base under rather peculiar lighting for some reason.
Donut: So, then after that, they transferred me to that new base. I guess we left before we were supposed to do what they wanted us to.
Caboose: That's a pretty crazy story Donut.
Donut: But when I got there, all I found was a distress beacon from Tucker. It said to get Church; I think Tucker was captured. There was somethin' there. Somethin' scary.
Sarge enters the opening of the base, turns around slightly, and a mysterious anonymous form runs across near him, unnoticed by all but us, the viewers. We're crafty like that
Caboose: That sounds scary.
Ghost: I would probably rip its arms off.
Donut: Yeah. Hey, that thing sure makes a racket.
Caboose: Who Epsilon? Yeah, it does that when you talk to it. It loves when people tell it stories. Especially about things, that have happened to us, and, and people we've met.
Ghost: I corrected the parts about Me and the girls.
Donut: You've been telling it stories?
Caboose: Yeah you know, to the best of my memory.
Donut: The best of your memory?
Caboose: Yeah.
Donut: I bet those are some pretty weird stories.
Ghost: They are... but they were interesting to listen too.
Donut: So, what is it?
Caboose: Oh, it's a memory component from a bigger A.I. that a bunch of scientists wanted to copy to make more but they couldn't. So they drove it crazy until it developed a split personality and, then they harvested all the different personalities for their experiments. You know.
Donut: Pretty weird.
Ghost: Try going through it.
Donut: Wait, you were a part of it?
Ghost: More like one of their experiments.
Caboose: I'm using it, and parts from Tex's body, parts from Sheila to make a new super best friend... but it's not going so well. I lit myself on fire.
Ghost: Multiple time... I had to put him out.
Donut: Where did you get it?
Caboose: We went on a big adventure- kind of like your adventure in that we needed help kind of like you need help. And then we needed some help and we got help from somebody. It was very helpful.
Ghost: ... I would love to be in your mind for 1 minute.
Donut: Well, could the person who helped you help us now?
Caboose: Ooooh. Oh?
Ghost: I have no Idea.
Cut to Washington standing in the middle of an empty room with a dude in poorly lit white armor approaching
White Dude: Washington. Got a call for you.
Washington: A call for me... who even knows I'm here?
White Dude: It came in on your personal secure channel. They routed it to us. You can, take it in here if you want.
Washington: Thanks.
White Dude: Three minutes.
Washington: What? Oh, yeah. Okay.
Wash heads downstairs and takes the call
Washington: This is Agent- uhm, this is Washington. Who's there?
Caboose: Agent Washington!
Washington: Oh dear lord. Caboose? How did you even find me?
Caboose: You are on my computer screen! I just looked at it!
Washington: No, I mean- never mind.
Ghost: Don't mind him.
Washington: Ghost?
Ghost: Sup fucker.
Washington: Never mind. What's going on, are you okay? I haven't heard anything about you or anyone.
Caboose: Oh yeah, I'm good. How 'bout you?
Washington: All things considered, guess I should be glad to be alive.
Caboose: Yeah. Did you get a big medal for beating Project Freelancer?
Washington: Yeah, sure. I've got a bunch more metal in my life now.
Ghost: Let me guess, jail
Washington: Yeah, How 'bout you?
Caboose: They gave us shiny new bases! The Reds have their place, and I have my own place! It's kinda cool! I think I'm gonna get a drum set.
Washington: Yeah- wait. Seriously? You have a new base?
Caboose: Well, it's not new new. They gave us the ones that were abandoned from Project Freelancer.
Ghost: They gave us Valhalla.
Washington: They gave you a base.
Caboose: What you didn't get a new base too?
Washington: No. No I didn't.
Caboose: Well you can come here and share my base with me. Oh, we need your help! Can you come right away? Can you come help us?
Washington: I don't think that's going to happen.
Some dude in white armor approaches Wash
White Dude: Alright Washington, back in your cell.
Washington: Guard, I need to see the Commander. Now.
White Dude: Yeah right, why the hell would I let you do that?
Washington: Because I think I've just found the missing piece to his puzzle.