"JJ?" I feel Spencer climb into bed behind me and his arm snakes around my waist. "I can't sleep." He continues to whisper and my eyes open to the pitch black bedroom. I'm not going to say anything to him, I'll just let him think I'm still asleep.
He pulls me toward his body and nestles his head in my hair. "I'm sorry." he whispers again and I still don't say anything. He can't keep treating me like this, I need to stand my ground for once.
"I'm sorry for ruining your day again. I just- I'm just finding things hard, I liked Maeve... I really liked Maeve but after her I met you and then I knew what it meant to need someone. I- I knew what it meant to be whole. You complete me Jennifer, but then I thought... What if you don't complete the person that completes you? I'm not a good person jayje, when I was 18 I-"
I stir slightly hoping it will stop him from revealing his past while I'm supposed to be sleeping. I want him to tell me while I'm awake, I want him to know he can trust the conscious me.
He moves my hair to my back and he pulls me even closer than before kissing my shoulder and whispering I love you.
***
Spencer's POV:
I wake before JJ who is curled in a ball beside me. Maybe she'll have forgiven me now? She didn't kick me out of the bed last night.
I climb out from under the duvet and place it neatly back over her shoulders. It's extremely cold this morning so i turn up the thermostat before undressing from the bloody clothes I was wearing yesterday.
The hot water eases my tense muscles and I stand still for a few minutes letting it run down my body. I wet my hair and step out of the stream, leaning against the cold tiles.
My body is covered in large bruises, an especially painful one on the back of my ribs. My knuckles are still sore and they haven't scanned over yet, so when the hot water makes contact I wince in pain.
I can't tell JJ where I was, if I do she might hate me. I stood and watched a guy have the crap beaten out of him and all because I owe a drug dealer money for the apartment I bought us. All because I wanted to make sure next time we argued, JJ would have no choice but to forgive me. I slowly wash my hair and body, trying hard not to get too much soap in my cuts.
I climb out of the shower and rub my hair slightly with a towel before wrapping it around my body, hoping that when I'm done JJ will be awake.
She's not. I head to the wardrobe with nothing but a towel wrapped around my body, then pull out my plaid pyjama pants and a white tank top.
Taking advantage of the fact JJ is still asleep I pull on my coat and head out to my car that Damien dropped of along with a few things from our old apartment.
I head to a coffee shop first. This new place is about twenty minutes from the one JJ and I like so much so I stop at a cafe instead.
When I head inside, Hotch is sat at a table with Haley and their little boy jack. I order the usual and take a seat at their table while waiting for it to be done.
"Hi Spencer! how are you?" Haley speaks to me first and I find myself regretting sitting here already. "uh, fine."
"That's good." she smiles and my eyes meet Aaron's.
"Jack?" I ask, and he nods. "Cute." his brows furrow slightly and I laugh. Everything is so awkward right now, last time I saw Hotch, JJ hadn't made such an impact on me. Now, I'm different... slightly.
"You're in pyjamas?" he asks, scanning my body slightly and I realise I was only meant to be nipping out.
"Oh- uh, yeah... I can't be arsed with loads of washing." I shrug and he laughs, but Haley is giving me the death glare.
"How is jennifer?"
"She's uh- she's fine... We have our own place now." His eyes widen and I nod while smiling. "We're doing really well." I tell a white lie and he places his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm happy for you, maybe now you won't be such a prick."
"Aaron." Haley scolds while covering her sons ears.
"Sorry... that was my fault, he's right. I was an idiot." I joke and stand. "I'll see you soon." I say when the barrister calls my name. They both say goodbye and I grab my coffee, watching Hotch as I walk out.
He reaches for Jacks toast on the table and helps him to eat it, then wipes his mouth with a napkin and hands him a cup of milk. Haley has a giant smile covering her face and I know what I have to do for JJ to forgive me.
Before I can even think properly about what I'm doing, I head back inside and ask Hotch for some help.
JJ's POV:
When I wake, Spencer isn't here again. I can't see him in the kitchen, the living room or the bathroom and he's definitely not in our bedroom anymore. Has he gone again? maybe he's actually left me this time? I mean, I didn't exactly accept his apology last night.
I find myself worrying again and take a seat on the sofa, turning on the TV. Once I've decided on what I'm going to watch, I head to the kitchen and pour out a cup of coffee.
A loud noise startles me, it sounds like a gun shot and when I run into the living room expecting it to be the TV show again, it's still paused.
The loud noise occurs twice more and I work out that it's coming from Henry's room. "Hello?" I don't get an answer, so I grab a vase and open the door.
Inside, Spencer is kneeling on the ground in the corner of a now carpeted room. There's also a bed fitted with a mattress and bedding.
"Spence?" he jumps to his feet and turns to face me.
"You're up?" he asks and then sighs. "I mean of course you're up... I wanted to get this done before you, you know... woke." he pushes his long hair from his face and lowers his head slightly.
"It would have been kind of hard considering that thing sounds like a gun." I laugh and point to the strange device he was pinning down the carpet with.
"Yeah..."
"How long have you been up?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders.
"I went to the shops earlier... Hotch helped me with a few stuff." he smiles slightly and I just want to kiss him and tell him everything is ok. I can't though. I can't keep letting him treat me like rubbish... even if he is stood in front of me, sweaty, wearing a tank top that definitely compliments his toned arms and in pyjama pants.
"Thanks." I state a little too bluntly and the threatening smile fades. He crouches again and continues to fit the carpet as I head back to the kitchen to retrieve the coffee made a few minutes ago.
I place the vase in its rightful place and sit in front of the TV again. The loud noises stop after about an hour and I decide to check Spencer is still alive.
I open the door and find him ahi sting the bed sheets on the small bed. The room is now done, all it needs is Henry and a few of his toys. Spencer turns to face me and I smile, he returns it and tries to walk past me out of the room.
I grab his arm and he faces me with a confused expression. "I love it." I say and he smiles again.
"I'm glad you do cause it took me all fucking morning." he shakes his shoulders a little while allowing extra breath to escape his mouth in a small laugh.
We're both squashed in a small doorway and with being this close to Spencer, I can't help but kiss him.
The kiss soft and I can tell Spencer is holding back. I kiss him harder and move my hands to his hair, needing to receive the familiar electricity when our mouths usually meet.
Don't get me wrong, it's still there but the feeling isn't close to what I'm used to with Spencer. Something is bothering him.
"Are you ok?" I ask pulling back and he nods. "Spence-"
He silences me by covering my mouth with his once more. He breathes in sharply and opens his mouth to kiss me properly. His tongue laps against my bottom lip before entering my mouth and my body ignites. His hand moves to my face, cupping my cheek as he continues to kiss me. His mouth tastes salty and metallic from the mixture of his blood and sweat. I lean further into him in a n attempt to deepen the kiss and he winces in pain when we hit the wall.
I pull away and he looks at me apologetically. "Sorry I-"
"What happened Spence?" I ask trying to meet his eyes, but he avoids my stare.
"I don't really want to talk about it." he sighs and I nod, I don't want to have us arguing again.
"Ok." I finally say and he looks at me properly. There's so much going on behind his hazel eyes, I don't want to just drop it, but I can see he is emotionally drained... and so am I.
He kisses my nose softly and we make our way into the kitchen. He turns on the coffee pot and leans against the counter waiting for it to finish.
"This doesn't mean you're forgiven." I smirk and he pulls me by the waist to be closer to him.
"Is that so?" he kisses me again and then pulls a mug from the cupboard. "I have a surprise for you later... should be arriving about 6." he says while dumping heaps of sugar into the dark liquid.
"Would you like some coffee with your sugar?" I joke as we both sit on the couch.
Spencer leaned back and pulls me toward him so that I'm lay on his chest while we watch Quantico.