"What are we doing?" I ask Tobias when I get in the car. He eyes me with the dark balls in his skull and shrugs. "Damien said he'll text me."
His body is now thin, I can tell he's not been eating properly at all. he probably owes Damien money too.
We wait a few minutes in an awkward silence and then my phone chimes. I look down to find a text from Damien and Tobias leans over my shoulder. "Not again." he sighs and I look up to his bony face and he leans back. "Same thing, different guy." he starts the car again and begins to drive.
I read the text message at least 10 times in the space of 30 seconds before I question the drug addict beside me. "Teach him a lesson?"
"Yeah, the bastard hasn't paid Damien for weeks..."
"What do we do?" I know why Damien wants, I've seen him do it before. I just need Tobias to confirm my thoughts.
"Stop acting dumb Reid, you know what we do." he pulls into a parking lot and we both climb out of the car.
Tobias leads the way to a flat on the third floor or a graffiti ridden building. His fist connects with the wood a few times, but we don't get an answer.
"Look, he's probably not in."
"Do you want to tell Damien that?" he asks and kicks the door down.
The place smells like shit and there's garbage all over the ground. Old pizza boxes, beer cans and wet patches that I suspect is his dogs piss.
I pull my jumper over my nose and we step inside. I open a door and behind it is the bathroom, then another and behind that is a room that looks empty. Tobias finds the bedroom and inside is the man we're looking for. "Reid, he's here." he shouts while grabbing the mans collar and pulling him from his bed.
A naked woman screams as Tobias lays into him, each blow more anger filled than the last. I know this isn't just about 'teaching him a lesson'. I stand back, I don't want to get caught up in this shit. I'm not going knocking the living daylights out of a man cause a dealer told me to.
The woman's fear filled eyes meet mine and I know I should tell Tobias to stop, but if I do Damien won't be happy. I won't risk JJ's safety.
Before another thought can even enter my mind, my head is being smashed against the wall. Everything goes momentarily black and Tobias finishes his beating to tend to me.
"You think we weren't expecting you?" a different voice sounds from behind me and the man Tobias was previously hitting laughs.
A foot meets my back and I can't help but grunt in pain.
"Look, it's not us. Damien, he owes Damien money." I hear another laugh and a punch to the nose join it. I groan in pain again and lay still on the floor. If I can have a few seconds to gather myself I might be able to get up and fight back.
"Damien sent us to teach him a lesson." oh my god would he just shut up? I know I don't have time to gather myself now, the way Tobias keeps going if I stay here I'm going to look like the idiot in the bedroom.
I stand to my feet holding my stomach and look at the man that hit me. "If your dickhead of a friend would just pay the damn money he wouldn't be covered in blood right now." My fist connects with his jaw, he falls to the ground and I swear I hear Tobias cheer slightly.
My head rings as I punch him three more times and leave him on the ground, also covered in blood.
We leave the flat and head down the piss stinking stairs to the car.
"I can't believe you did that." Tobias says before starting the car? "Me? you just kicked the shit out of the other man." I hit my attacker four times, that's nothing compared to the beating the other man got.
"No, I mean you took a good few blows... then you just stood up and got him back." Tobias smirks and I wipe my bloody nose. "I didn't want to get involved." I didnt, I wanted to stay back and let Damien think I'd done the job. "Well, I sure wouldn't want to fight you"
We pull up at the club Damien owns and walk inside without a second look from the doormen. I don't know how, Tobias is clearly on drugs and I'm covered in drying blood.
The loud music escalates the ringing in my ears and my head begins to pound. "where are we going? my head is fucking killing me."
"C'mon." Tobias replies while heading up some stairs.
He opens a door and we enter a dark, but quieter room. "Boys." Damien greets us with two drinks and when my eyes adjust to the darker room, more men become visable.
"What happened to you?" he asks looking at my face and I tell him to fuck off. "Woah, grouchy. Get this down ya." he pushes a drink into my hand and I swallow it in one hoping it will ease the pain in my head.
I follow Tobias to a sofa in the corner in the room while Damien joins the rest of the men smoking pot. "Want some?" He pulls a needle from his pocket and I shake my head no. "C'mon Reid, you know it will make you feel better." He smirks, reminding me of my past and my earlier anger resurfaces.
"Look, I don't want any of your shit ok."
"What, cause you're afraid your girlfriend won't approve? what is it with you, I thought you don't date anyway?"
"She's different."
"Different?" he laughs and injects himself with the dilaudid. "That's better." He slouches in his seat and closes his eyes peacefully.
After 20 minutes he sits up straight and takes a large mouthful from a bottle of vodka on the ground. I cringe at his lack of reaction and he looks at me again while leaning back.
"You know she's just going to leave you when she finds out about your past."
"Shut the fuck up."
"I'm right and you know I am, that's why you started sleeping with all them sluts." he smiles and sits up again while lowering his voice to a whisper. "There's a few over there, they like it rough... that's if you need to let some anger out." His hollow eyes squint. "I'd clean your face first though." he laughs and I try to wipe the dry blood from my top lip.
"Another drink?" he hands me the bottle of vodka and I take a large mouthful in hope it will flush the memory of Maeve from my head.
I think about JJ leaving me. what if she does find out about me, and who I really am? will she still want me?
I drink more, but the idea of JJ not being around wont leave my mind. I don't think I'd be able to cope with out her, she's the reason I'm not a complete failure.
***
A few hours later I'm drunk, but the bad thoughts still haven't left my head. I can still picture JJ walking out on me.
Tobias appears from another room with one of the girls he earlier spoke bad about. His forehead is covered in a thick coat of sweat and the woman's hair is a shit tip.
He sits beside me again and pulls out fresh needle. "You look like crap." He fills it with more dilaudid and shoves it into my arm before I can protest.
•
"I love you Spencer." Maeve's face appears in front of me as she kisses my cheek. "I uh- I love you too."
"You don't sound too sure about that." she jokes and pulls my cardigan in the direction she's walking.
We reach the bedroom and she kisses my lips as we fall onto the bed. Her hands move up and down my torso as she rocks her hips against mine.
"Maybe we should wait, you know until-" I'm silenced by another kiss to my lips and I can't help but take control.
I toss her over so that I'm now on top of her and begin to remove the shirt she's wearing. I kiss her neck slowly and she pulls me closer with one hand while grabbing at the zip of my pants with another.
I lift my head from her neck and my eyes catch sight of a light on the bed sheet. I reach over and grab her phone as she continues to remove my pants.
•
"Reid." a hand meets my face and I snap out of the flashback. "I thought I killed you." Tobias sits back with a relived sigh. "Nobody has ever been out that long." I sit up frowning.
"How long?"
"Nearly an hour. I shit myself."
"You shouldn't have fucking given it to me!" I half shout and he moves slightly away from me.
"I'm sorry." he sighs and injects himself with the same crap.
JJ's POV:
"He's been gone all night."
"He hasn't called or anything?"
"No, I fell asleep on his lap and woke up alone."
"I'm sure he's fine." Emily tries to reassure me, but it doesn't work.
I try to call Spencer again but his phone is off and the worry builds. "we were supposed to be decorating Henry's room." I say and Emily's face fills with confusion.
"Henry's room?"
"Yeah, Spence bought an apartment with two bedrooms so Henry can stay when he wants." I take a seat back on the sofa and Emily drinks the last of the coffee I bought this morning.
"I know, let's go and get some paint... we can do it." She suggests and I smile.
"You do know Henry better than Spence. We'll do it better." I say to myself more than anyone. She joins me smiling and I pull on my coat.
***
After buying the paint and paintbrushes, we return to my apartment. Spencer still isn't home and my subconscious taunts me.
He's left you.
He doesn't care about you.
He's drinking again.
He's with another woman.
Fresh fuck.
I want to punch myself for the thoughts roaming around my head, but I have every right to think them... right?
"Why don't we get started?" Emily suggests and I eye her clothing. She laughs and suggests we change at the same time I do.
I change into my pyjama shorts and one of Spencer's old tshirts, Emily wears a pair I my pyjama shorts and one of my old tank tops.
We head into Henry's room with the green paint and begin to slap it on the walls. It gets all over the floorboards but it doesn't matter, we're covering them with carpet anyway.
We finish two walls and both sit on the ground, covered in paint, with a coffee. "I think we're doing pretty well." I say while scanning the patchy paintwork.
"Yeah, we should totally get into the painting and decoration business... we'd make a fortune." she smiles and we cling our mugs together before drinking the hot beverage.
***
A few hours later Spencer bursts through the front door, drunk. I head into the living room where he's wobbly standing watching the cartoon that's come on.
"Spence?" I ask and he looks at me with blood shot eyes. Dry blood trails from his nose to his top lip, it looks smudged as though he's tried and failed to wipe it.
"You're painting?" his eyes rake up and down my body, noticing the green paint splattering my bare legs.
"You were gone all night and most of today Spencer. Of course I'm painting."
"Don't take that shitty tone with me." he snarls and throws himself onto the sofa.
"Where were you?" I can't help but ask, even though Emily is helplessly sat in the now green room, also covered in paint.
"It doesn't matter."
"Spencer."
"Jennifer."
I sigh, deciding I'm going to ask him again when he's not drunk.
I head back into Henry's room and she smiles apologetically. "I guess I should go?" she asks and I nod.
"I'm sorry, he's hard work."
"It's fine, I'll just run and get changed?" She heads out of the room and practically runs next door in to mine.
Once she's gone I sit on the sofa opposite Spencer's and he doesn't even look at me. His eyes stay fixed in the colourful characters dancing along the TV screen, so I pick up the remote and turn it off.
"I was watching that."
"Spence, why were you gone for so long?"
"Why do you care so much? You're going to leave me eventually anyway."
"No I'm not."
"Why says huh? You? Maeve said that too, but she still went fucking some guy behind my back."
I'm shocked by what he's told me, I've wondered why Spencer has always been adamant on me leaving him eventually. This Maeve is obviously why.
"I promise you I wont." he looks up hopefully and his dark eyes soften. "I'm sorry jayj, I've just had a bad night."
"Well maybe if you didn't stay out getting drunk all night-"
"Will you just stop? I said fucking sorry ok?" he slaps his forehead and moves his hands to tug at the roots of his hair. "fuck." he slouches further and I walk into the bedroom.
I pull out some spare sheets and grab Spencer's pillow, then dump them on the arm of the sofa. "You're in here tonight." I state and he looks at the bedding, then up to me. "And why am I on the sofa?"
"Because you're the one being an idiot!" I half shout and his eyes widen. I storm into the bedroom and close the door so that he doesn't see the tears welling up in my eyes.
Why can't he just tell me the truth? why won't he tell me why he's come home with a blood stained face and mostly drunk. I also noticed that his knuckles were busted again, what is that man up to?