Director: Dear Chairman.
Fade in to Caboose's mind
Director: I too hold the protocol in the highest regard. The doctrine kept us all safe durin' the great war. If you are insinuating Sir, that we violated it in any way, or that we were derelict in our duty to the military, well then I suggest you be direct, and tell me exactly how we did so.
Cut to Church's ghost standing over Ghost's body, surrounded by everyone else
Washington: What is going on.
Church: Wash, stay calm. We can explain.
Washington: I don't want explanations, I want the truth. Now. When were you gonna tell me about this?
Church: Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning. You see, Caboose here, killed me by accident once. Well actually, more than once.
Caboose: Not my fault. Tucker did it.
Church: Shut up.
Washington: He killed you. As in... dead.
South: That makes no sense.
Sarge: Then we reached an agreement. I built Blue over here a new body-
Church: Agreement? More like we kicked your ass, and you didn't have much of a choice of what you wanted to do.
Sarge: Who kicked what now?
Simmons: What're you an idiot?
Sarge: You wanna take that back.
Church: You guys totally gave up!
Grif: Bullshit.
Church: That was the time that Texas kicked your asses all over-
Washington: Stop. Focus. How did you build him a body?
Sarge: With a robot kit of course. I'd already used ours to build our helper. Lopez.
Simmons: And a mighty fine job you did too, Sir.
Sister: Can you not be a kiss ass for one minute?
Grif: Yeheah, it's always great to have a helper no-one can understand.
Sarge: Blue Team hadn't used theirs for some reason, and they even had an extra. We used that for your buddy uh, whatsername.
Washington: And that didn't strike anyone as odd? That you would have a kit to build a robot that looks like a soldier?
Simmons: That's just standard issue equipment. Right?
Washington: What? No. Have you ever run in to anyone else who has one?
Simmons: We don't really get out that often.
South: Why would someone give you a kit to build a robot?
Grif: We don't know.
Sarge: Okay, smart guy. If they're so rare, then why did Command send us upgraded ones when we were told to ship out to Rat's Nest?
Church: You guys went to Rat's Nest too?
Sarge: I used some of the spare parts to spruce up Lopez.
Simmons: Spare parts? Did you fix his voice thing?
Sarge: You know, I didn't even think about that until just this second. Kind of obvious in hindsight. Probably best not to mention it to him if you see him.
Simmons: Meh, he wouldn't understand anyway.
Church: Your team sucks.
Sarge: At least our robot isn't the leader of our team. Bluebot.
Caboose finally wakes up and springs in to the conversation
Caboose: Hey! That's not nice. He means us right?
Church: Yes, and shut up. Oh wait, Bloodline.
Dhuka: What does that me-
Ghost wakes up and punches the closest person to him... who was Grif... he also punched him in the balls
Grif: Ahjhh! Why!
Grif Collapses on the floor
Sister: hahahahahaha!!
Ghost: I don't know, it just felt right.
Washington: Stop it! I can't stand this. No more bickering. You have to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met!
Grif: (In pain) Your face is immature.
Washington: Shut up. From now on everyone just keep quiet and don't talk unless I ask you a question. That's an order. I need to figure this out.
Ghost: Bitch I out-rank you.
Sarge: What's your rank, Ghost?
Grif: Oh yeah, I out-rank you bi-
Ghost: I'm a Major...
Grif: tch... Wait, what?
Ghost: I'm a Major, I out-rank all of you.
Sarge: When did this happen?
Ghost: Long before I met you.
Sarge: Wait, we are getting off track. Hold on, you can't order us around!
Washington: Yes, I can.
Sarge: What's your rank?
Washington: Hmy rank? You still don't get it, do you? H-you think you're real soldiers? You're not. You guys are nothing.
Grif: Whatever. Your face is... nothing.
Washington: We used your outposts as testing grounds. Practice. You never noticed that you never had anything to do unless a Freelancer showed up, or you made a call to Command?
Sarge: ...You're makin' that up.
Washington: Am I? Think about it. Name one thing that ever happened to you that wasn't directly preceded by Command calling you, or sending someone to your base. One thing. ...Anything? No? I thought so.
Ghost: Yeah you guys where just training dummies for freelancers.
Sarge: How do you know?
Ghost: I'm a Freelancer too.
Grif & Simmons: WHAT!!!
South: Shut up!
Washington: Yeah so, You three go assess the vehicles. See if you can find some trail of the Meta while you're at it.
Simmons: Ooh, finally a take-charge leader! I like it!
Sarge and Grif: Shut up.
Washington: Church, get back in your armor. You're just going to draw attention to yourself like that.
Church: Fine. But first-
Washington: No, no first, get in your armor.
Church: I really think I should tell you what it is-
Washington: Sh.
Church: I have a message from Delta.
Washington: Delta? Why didn't you tell me?
Church: Oh come on, seriously?
Washington: How did you get in contact with him?
Delta appears
Delta: Because I am right here
Washington: How! The Meta should have taken you?
Delta: We can thank Ghost for that.
Theta appears
Theta: Yeah, Ghost is amazing at preparing things.
Washington looks at Ghost
Ghost: I always have a backup plan.
Washington: Well what is the message?
Caboose: Four!
Church: That wasn't a test.
Caboose: Yes it was I won A-plus.
Washington: What was the message?
Delta: "Memory is the key."
Washington: Memory is the key. Anything else?
Church: Nothin' important.
Caboose: Memory is the key? What does that mean?
Church: He said Wash would know.
Delta: And he should.
Delta and Theta dissapear
Washington: Memory is the key.
Church: Yeah I know, it didn't make any sense to me either. Just sounded like some kind of stupid riddle or somethin'.
Washington: Gather your gear. We're leaving. Now.
Caboose: I think he's angry because of what you said to him.
Church: Hihyeah. If I knew it was gonna make him leave I would've said it sooner.
Ghost: Church get in your body and lets go.
Cut to Wash arriving at the Reds and an overturned jeep
Washington: What's the status of the vehicles? Report.
Grif: You could have asked nicely.
Washington: You're right, I could. Report.
Sarge: They're all busted. We could probably fix one by takin' parts from all the others. That's one of my specialties. Gonna take a while though.
Washington: How long?
Sarge: Couple-a days.
Washington: No time. We need to start moving ASAP. And we need 10 seats. You're gonna have to get me three jeeps in a few hours.
Sarge: No can do. Not gonna happen.
Washington: Then we'll have to get them somewhere else. And I know exactly where we can find them.
Church: Why, where are we going?
Washington: Delta was right. Memory is the key.
Church: But what does that mean?
Washington: It means that only one thing remembers everything about these A.I. and where they come from. It will know how to stop them. We need to unlock the Alpha.
Church: The Alpha?
Washington: And that means we're going home. ...We're going to Command.
Ghost: Yeah the last place I want to be... I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!!!