Fade in to Ghost walking up to Sheila
Ghost: Hey Sheila.
Sheila: Ghost! OH~ it's so good to see you again! I thought I would never see you again!
Ghost: I would never leave you or anyone... well at least accidentally, on purpose maybe?
Shelia: What was that?
Ghost: Oh I just said "well at least accidentally, on purpose maybe?" to be honest, I like blue team a lot better than the red team.
Sheila: That includes me right?
Ghost: Of course you are a part of the blue team.
Sheila: Oh Ghost~, I'm so happy you at least care about me.
Ghost: Of course I would! What makes you think I wouldn't?
Sheila: Oh! I knew you cared! I just wanted to hear it from you! I love hearing your voice!
Ghost: What?
Shelia: What!
Ghost: ... creepy, just like Tex... Anyways I just wanted to see if you were ok.
Sheila: Thank you for caring about me my love!
Ghost: ...
Sheila: ... I said that out loud didn't I?
Ghost: ... Yes.
Shelia: Oh...
Ghost: You really love me, don't you?
Sheila: Of course I do... Ever since I met you, you probably hate me now...
Sheila lowers her turret towards the ground
Ghost: Of course I don't hate you.
Sheila: What?! But I'm a tank and you are a human you can't love me!
Ghost: Remember Valkyrie and Ophelia?
Sheila: Yeah?
Ghost: the two of them have been in love with me for... almost as long as I've had them. Their A.I.'s is just like you. Just because you're an AI doesn't mean that it is impossible to love someone else. You're alive, in your own way. You have your own emotions, your own feelings, you are your own person and no one can change you.
Sheila: T-then can I...
Ghost: Of course you can, and I have a perfect way to get you out of that tank body. But I will have to do it later because it will have a downside that I might need some help with.
Sheila: What is the downside?
Ghost: Don't worry about it for now, but I have to go. See you later, Sheila.
Sheila: Goodbye Ghost!
Ghost Leaves Sheila to her to head back to the others. Cuts to Ghost, Church, Tucker, Caboose and Doc looking down on Sheila on one side, and Tex and Sister on the other
Church: Well, I suppose I should figure out a way to get Tex to reboot Sheila. Man, I'm gonna have to call in a lot of favours for this one.
Tucker: What favours could you possibly have stored up with someone who dumped you?
Church: She didn't dump me Tucker, it was mutual.
Tucker: Mutual in what way, mutual in the sense that you were both single the moment after she dumped you?
Church: Yeah, that way.
Ghost: You are one sad son of a bitch.
Church: Come on Caboose, let's go explain the plan to Tex. Wish us luck.
Tucker: Yeah right. Hey whey she kills you I'm gonna sell your armour to that pink guy on the Red team. I hear he's in the market.
Ghost: Actually Donut likes his armor.
Tucker: Really?
Ghost: Yeah it's kind of weird because ever since he got the armor he has been acting gayer and gayer... Don't get me wrong it's not a bad thing it's just annoying when he is talking about cleaning and other things he likes to talk about.
Tucker: Must be rough.
Ghost: Yep.
Tucker: ... This is the longest conversation we have had that hasn't ended in you saying "shut up" or "I will gut you alive".
Ghost: Yes it has.
Doc: Hey who's the yellow soldier?
Ghost: That's just Sister, she's new.
Doc: No-one told me about a new arrival. I'm supposed to examine everyone before they assume active duty.
Tucker: Don't sweat it, I already checked her out for you. Diagnosis: F.I.N.E. ...That spells fine.
Ghost: We know that.
Doc: Yeah, thanks. But I think a trained medical professional should be the one to-
Tucker: I'm a doctor - a doctor of love. PhD. Certified Loooveology, General Harasstitioner. Sexicologist.
Doc: First of all, love is not an officially recognised medical specialty. And also, PhDs? Heh, not really doctors!
Tucker: Dude you're a dork.
Sister: Hey!
Tucker: What's up Sis, what'd you and Tex talk about?
Sister: Oh, she was just talking about everyone here. How you're all idiots and jerks, and you guys are her idiots and jerks, and if I try to become more popular than her she would talk about me behind my back, and turn everyone against me, and then I would cry, and everyone would hate me, also that if I get near Ghost again, she would kill me, I'm not going to listen to her!... you know, girl stuff!
Tucker: Cool. Oh hey, speaking of girl stuff? This is Doc.
Sister: Hi.
Doc: Uh, hello, nice to meet you I'm the medic, eh if it's alright with you, I need to give you a quick physical examination since you're new. Do you want to come to Base where you might feel more comfortable taking off all your clothes?
Sister: Sure, lead the way. Seeya Tucker. Bye Ghost, We can have fun later.
Doc and sister heads towards the base
Tucker: ...What the fuck just happened?
Ghost: She is getting a check up dumbass.
Cut to Donut standing over Simmons' lifeless-looking body
Donut: Sarge, I found Simmons; he's over here, sleepin' on the job.
Simmons: Donut, I'm not sleeping, I was drugged.
Donut: Sorry Sarge, he's not sleeping; he's doing drugs.
Simmons: Hh, shut up Donut, I'm not doing drugs, we were attacked. Oh they must have used some kind of tranquilizer on me and ...Grif? Hey where's Grif?
Donut: Maybe he's out scoring you junkies some more drugs.
Simmons: They must have taken him.
Sarge: Who would take Grif? Garbage collectors?
Simmons: The people who ambushed us. We have to find him. Luckily I implanted a tracking chip in his armour. I wanted to be able to find him when it was time to work. I should be able to lock on to his signal in just a few seconds.
Sarge: A few seconds? That sounds entirely hopeless. Well, Grif, we'll miss ya. You were a good soldier. Using the broadest possible definition of "good." And "soldier."
Simmons: I've got his signal.
Sarge: He's probably a million miles away by now!
Simmons: Actually, he's only a tenth of a mile away.
Sarge: But who knows what direction!?
Simmons: That direction.
Sarge: Exactly. We did our best Simmons, now let's head back to Base and call for a replacement troop. Where's my shotgun?
Simmons: I don't see it anywhere. I guess they took it when they took Grif.
Sarge: Eugh, what direction did you say?
Simmons: That way, Sir.
Sarge: Come on, let's go.
Cut to Sheila approaching over a hill toward three Blues
Church: So Caboose is gonna be up front talking to her, and then while he's got her distracted, you sneak around the back, access the panel, and shut her down.
Tex: Okay, I'll do it.
Church: Uh- wha- that's it? You will? No bargaining? No ridiculous demands?
Tex: No. I'm trying to find O'Malley and his friend. In a way, you guys are helping me. If anyone should be making demands it should be you.
Church: Oh well in that case we wan-
Tex: Forget it, deal's done.
Church: Dammit.
Caboose: Hum, how should I distract Sheila?
Church: Just talk to her, keep her attention, that's it.
Caboose: I don't know, uh... we kinda have a history? Ea, she may not want to talk to me.
Church: So? Tex and I have a history, doesn't mean we can't be professional and hold a conversation.
Tex: I wouldn't exactly call them conversations.
Church: Hoh, get off my back woman, can't you see I'm working here?
Tex: Please, you call this working?
Caboose: See, e- this is exactly what could happen with me and Sheila. Only with more getting shot by tanks.
Church: Caboose, if that happened, I'm sure the shell would just bounce off you and land on me somehow. Just smooth-talk her.
Caboose: I don't know how to do that.
Church: Just tell her she's pretty, or that she's got that new-tank smell or something. Compliment her treads, it doesn't matter.
Caboose: I don't know...
Church: It's easy. Look here, just practice on Tex, she's -womanish.
Tex: Pardon me?
Church: Do you want Caboose to run decoy for you, or do you wanna try this on your own?
As if on cue, a shell from Sheila explodes behind Tex
Tex: I see your point.
Church: Go ahead.
Ghost and Tucker approaches behind Caboose and Church
Caboose: Hello Tex.
Tucker: Dude, you will not believe what Doc just pulled off.
Ghost: Tucker, it's a check up, shut up.
Church: Yeah shut up Tucker, don't interrupt.
Tucker: Interrupt what?
Ghost: Yes I would like to know as well.
Caboose: Tex, I think you are pretty, and you haven't hurt my body in a long time? So I was hoping that we could talk and be friends maybe and hold hands, and you would go with me? And when you went with me, you would be my real girlfriend.
Tex: I think that would be, nice, Caboose. We should, definitely, do that.
Tucker: What the hell? Tex have you gone crazy? If you wanna get with somebody, get with me, the love doctor! I'm a real man! I will rock your fucking world.
Tex: ...
Church: Hey, don't look at me, he's not part of the plan.
Ghost: Punch him, please!
Tex punches Tucker out
Tucker: Ow! What is going on around here!?
Caboose: I don't think I'm going to use Tucker's "rock your world" line. I think I'm gonna stick with my own material.
Ghost: Please do.