Fade in to Grif and Simmons looking straight down
Grif: Yep, that's a hole alright.
Simmons: That's what I told you!
Grif: Huh. And Sarge's body is gone.
Simmons: Right. I think it fell through that hole in to the cavern.
Grif: Maybe he just disappeared. Dead things do that when you bury 'em. That's part of the circle of life you know. It's a miracle when you think about it. No reason to go randomly exploring caves which may or may not contain hundreds of evil bats, that would just be interfering with God's divine plan.
Simmons: Okay, A, Sarge wasn't dead; B, decomposing takes months, not minutes; C, his armour would still be here; and D, shut up, you're going down there. Now.
Grif: Why? What do we really need Sarge for anyway? All he ever did was yell at us a bunch and tell us we suck, we'll just split up his duties. You yell at me and I'll tell you you suck.
Simmons: Shut up and get in the hole Grif!
Grif: You suck Simmons. Hoho man, this new system's already workin' out great! We should have thought of this years ago.
Simmons: Grif, don't you understand that because we lost Sister, we're horribly outnumbered. Ghost is still missing, we already lost Donut and Sarge, now it's four on two. The Blues are probably gearing up for an enormous attack right now. At any moment they're gonna come over that hill, guns blazing yelling "CHAAAARGE!"
Cuts to Cuts to Ghost and Tex walking through the caves that lead into Blood Gulch. Tex noticed that Ghost hasn't talked the entire way to blood Gulch, and decides to speak up.
Tex: Ghost, you okay?
Ghost: It's my fault that York's dead.
Tex immediately halts him.
Tex: Ghost... don't go there.
Ghost: He trusted us, and it got him killed! He was one of my best friend, Tex! I mean, who knows where North, South, C.T., and, Wash could be? And Maine... Maine is beyond saving, because I am going to kill him.
Tex grabs Ghost's shoulders.
Tex: Ghost, he knew the risks. I'm not happy he's gone either, but right now, the best we can do is find Omega and kill him.
Ghost: .....(sigh) Right.
Tex then wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him.
Tex: Plus, once it's all over, we can run away. Do whatever we want, be whoever we want. Just the two of us. you can make me a real body... Like you promised.
Ghost: (wraps his arms around her waist) Technically, four, if you count Valkyrie, and Ophelia.
Tex puts her helmet against his as he holds her close. As valkyrie appears over Ghost's shoulder.
Valkyrie: Fuck you bitch, he's ours.
Tex: He's mine, now.
Ghost: please don't fight, I think we're here.
Ghost and Tex part, Tex sighs in disappointment.
Ghost: Come on, Tex. It'll be easy.
Ghost and Tex walks towards the opening, and looks in the canyon
Ghost: Gotta admit, looks a little... greener, than I remember. And are those trees? This place was baron... Where the fuck did these trees grow from?
Tex: (pulls out her sniper rifle) Doesn't look like there's anyone at Red Base.
Ghost: What? Let me see.
Ghost takes the sniper rifle and zooms in on his base. There was absolutely no one there.
Ghost: Where the hell could they be? Then again, Sarge probably took them on another wild goose chase. (Looks at Blue Base) Huh. Looks like everybody at the Blue Base is there. Let's go.
Tex: Wait! What if O'Malley's infected one of them? We can't just automatically go in like nothing's happened.
Ghost: Okay, then. What's the plan?
Tex loads her rifle and runs in shooting.
Ghost: ... going in guns, blazing... Nevermind...
Cut to the battleground that suddenly surrounds the Blues as Tex ruthlessly shoots at them
Church: RETREAT!!!
Tucker: Aaaaaaahhhh!
Cuts to Ghost following Tex, moves and shoots at the Blues, back behind their base.
Cuts to the blues
Caboose: Take bar take bar take bar take bar.
Sister: Who is that next to Ghost?
Tucker: That's Tex.
Sister: Whoah, he's a badass.
Caboose: (hit) Ow.
Sister: He's kinda cool.
The Blues take cover behind their base
Tucker: Tex isn't a guy, she's a girl.
Sister: Oh, sorry. She's a badass. She's kinda cool!
Tucker: She's actually Church's ex-girlfriend.
Sister: Oh yeah? Why aren't you guys dating any more?
Church: Are you seriously asking that question right now?
Caboose: Last time I was shot, I got a Purple Heart? Yeah uh I hope this time, I get a Purple Lung. You see eventually I, I hope to build an entire purple person. And we will be best friends.
Tucker: Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.
Caboose: You're just jealous, 'cause you have no friends.
Tucker: Why is she shooting at us?
Church: How do I know? And why are you acting like this is unusual?
Tucker: Well, go out there and tell her to stop.
Church: Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Sister: Uh, aren't you like, the leader or something?
Church: Uh- yes Sister, I am the leader, which is why I am officially appointing you, our Field Negotiator.
Sister: Awesome!
Church: Yes, congratulations we're all very proud of you. Your first job is to get Tex and Ghost to stop firing at us.
Sister: Cool.
Sister stands up in to the line of fire
Sister: Hey, Tex! Stop shooting you stupid bitch! Also get away from my boyfriend you whore!
Cuts to Ghost and Tex
Sister: Hey, Tex! Stop shooting you stupid bitch! Also get away from my boyfriend you whore!
Ghost: Wait! I know that voice.
Valkyrie: Of course you do Ghost that is Kaikaina your girlfriend before Tex and after Carolina.
Ghost: Wait! That's her! Oh god please help me.
Tex: Ghost, what did Valkyrie just say?
Ghost: That is Kaikaina, she is my other girlfriend that I met after Carolina died.
Tex: And you didn't bother telling me because!
Ghost: I just didn't bring her up!
Tex: How did you meet!
Ghost: Remember a few years ago when I used Protocol five on Maine?
Tex: Yeah.
Ghost: Remember how I told you how there are downsides to using them.
Tex: Yeah.
Ghost: Well the downside to using that is I get amnesia for one year. I couldn't remember a thing and Valkyrie along with Ophelia were shut down until my amnesia wore off.
Tex: So you met her during that time?
Ghost: Yes and she also became my girlfriend and after my amnesia wore off I trained her to become a soldier.
Tex: Why?
Ghost: She wanted to find her brother. Just act like you don't know her when you meet.
Tex: Fine.
Cuts to the blues
Tucker: Nice negotiating.
Church: She's not firing. I think that actually worked. Maybe they're outta ammo. Let me check.
Church stands up and is immediately shot in the head, leaving a standing ghost and ugly body behind
Church: Nope, they still has ammo.
Tucker: Nice recon work.
Church: I'm gonna go get my body back.
Tucker: Yeah, good idea.
Cut to the inside of the cavern, as Grif falls screaming to the ground and lands on the front of his face
Simmons: (landing gracefully behind him) Tada!
Grif: (standing up) Ugh, you didn't have to push.
Simmons: Yeah I didn't have to, but it sure was fun. I got a cool screenshot from my visor of you flailing too. Guess who has a new desktop wallpaper... This guy!
Back to the Blues courageously behind their base
Church: Hey Tucker, is my body on straight?
Tucker: Dude I don't even know what that means.
Tex: Freeze! Nobody move.
Tucker: We're already not moving. You could have just said "everyone keep doing what you're not doing."
Tex: Shut up!
Tucker: Whatever.
Cuts to Ghost and Kaikaina
Sister: Hi sweety!
Ghost: Hi Kaikaina... what are you doing here?
Sister: I came looking for you! I missed you
Ghost: I told you not to come. It's too dangerous, you could get hurt!
Sister: I'll be fine, you trained me remember.
Ghost: I trained you for one year, I've been training my whole life
Sister: I'll be fine
Ghost: Just.... stick close to me.
Sister: OK!
Cuts to all the blues and Ghost together
Church: Ghost, Tex, what is your problem?
Tex: Our problem is that O'Malley isn't in Doc any more. He's jumped in to somebody new, and I'm not trustin' anybody, until I find out who.
Church: Yeah, we already know all that. We're on top of the situation.
Tex: You are? Then who did O'Malley jump in to?
Church: Oh. Yeah I meant, I meant we were on top of everything right up until that point.
Tex: Typical.
Sister: Hey Ghost who's O'Malley ?
Tucker: Wait you know Ghost?
Sister: Yeah he's my boyfriend.
Ghost: Simple version, It's just some computer program that wants to destroy the Universe. He infects people around here from time to time.
Sister: Sounds scary.
Tucker: Naw, it's all good baby, I'll protect you.
Sister: Hyeah, sorry bitch I have a boyfriend and he is right next to you dumbass.
Tucker: Okay, never mind.
Church: None of us are infected Tex, but I am a little worried about the tank. She's been actin' really weird lately. Can an A.I. implant in a ... Tex?
Tex: Who's the girl?
Church: What? Who Sister? Oh she's just a new recruit.
Tex: You mean to tell me I'm only gone a few weeks, and you guys get yourselves a new girl?
Church: Oh. Um...
Tucker: Whoa. Tread lightly dude, tread lightly.
Caboose: You know, I wasn't actually scared, until right, just, now.