^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is the your rag doll just more worn out.
(y/n pov)
I gasped as I shot up from my bed, cause being I had another one of those dreams. My breaths shallow and uneven. I turned to check the time.
5;00pm
I sighed as I knew there was no way I was going back to sleep. I let my thoughts wander as I thought that maybe it was time to dig up Lowell's shovel.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and swung my legs over the side of my bed. I made my way downstairs to get myself some water. Because girl needs clear skin.
I turned on the kitchen light and dragging my feet behind me, made my way to the glasses.
I sat at the table and began drinking the water, afterwards getting a weird feeling in my stomach. It wasn't like the normal feeling that I usually had that I've had for months unable to put my finger on what it was. No this feeling made me feel like I was about to throw up.
Was there something in the water? Probably not.
I shrugged it off and continued on thinking about where I could get a shovel to dig up Lowell's one. I sighed deeply as I pushed myself up off the chair and headed up to get dressed.
Once I was dressed I did a twirl and admired myself in the mirror before heading out. Hopefully the store I'm headed to is open at this time.
Fortunately it was. I walked in and got what I needed then hastily headed toward the playground.
It was an early Monday morning, in fact it was so early that the morning dew was still dripping from the night before. The air was damp and the sun hadn't risen yet. So I didn't worry about looking mental Infront of people.
I walked over to the softest patch of grass that was near the same sandbox I had played in when I was six. I smiled as I thought about how Winter River really hadn't changed.
I inwardly groaned as my hands were already sore from holding the thing, I haven't even started yet. But I did. I dug none the less, ignoring both the pain of my hands and the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I dug and dug and dug until I eventually gave up. As I couldn't find anything and I was absolutely positive I buried it here.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and thinking it was Lydia I opened the message without looking at who it actually was.
Tommy🖕🏻: Y/n can you meet me at positivity please?
I threw my head back and groaned but I wasn't motivated enough to get into this whole argument again. Even though I hated that positivity place.
I didn't respond but made my way there anyway.
I walked slowly toward the coffee shop, slouching and barley opening my eyes. I wasn't tired but I felt awful and disappointed in myself.
I opened the door to the brightly coloured coffee shop. The smell wasn't even the familiar of coffee, no the place reeked of sugar. The smell alone made my stomach turn upside down. Again shrugging it off looked around for the man I wasn't to keen on seeing.
I saw his recognisable brown roots with his curly dirty blonde tips and his award winning smile. I sighed and mentally groaned as I walked over toward him.
"Hey I didn't know if you would come." He said cheerfully as I sat down.
"Why do you want?" I ask grumpily, my grumpiness quickly changed to shock as he slid a cold iced tea in front of me. "I- thank you." I say smiling a little. I was actually pretty grateful since I was almost positive that this place didn't sell iced tea.
Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought? I mean he was trying to make up for last time.
I snapped out of my thoughts and went on to drinking my iced tea that was actually perfect. In fact it was the best iced tea I'd had ever. I almost choked on it when he pulled out a little worn out rag doll. I didn't choke instead I threw up. All over myself and the table and on him.
My face flushed from embarrassment.
"I am so, so sorry." I say hiding behind my hands. I felt terrible, though I couldn't tell if it was because I threw up or because of the rag doll in Tommy's hand.
"It's okay." He said grabbing a napkin to wipe himself off and then the table. He hesitated but came over to help me clean up.
Of course I could have done it myself but I was in shock. A million thoughts swirling around my head.
How did he get that? Was that my rag doll? I don't understand...
Did we know eachother before?
Does he know about Lowell?
And the spade, does he have it?
"How...how did you get that?" I ask confused but confidentiality.
"I...you recognise it?" He asked with a hint of happiness in his eyes.
I shook my head slowly.
"It looks like...like the one I g-gave to my fri-friend a long ti-time ago." I stuttered out.
Usually people wouldn't think much of it, thinking maybe it was the same but mine, mine was made by my grandma. It was especially made for me.
"Can I...take a closer look?" I ask timidly. I haven't a clue why but I was scared. Was he a grave robber or something because I know Lowell was buried with that doll.
"Yeah of course it's yours after all." He said muttering the last part under his breath. I was unable to hear what he said but I was to distracted by the doll that was now in my grasp to care.
I brought the doll up to my eyes to analyse every little detail. She looked more worn out than she had when I was younger, I guess that was to be expected as last time I saw her I was fourteen. Her auburn brown hair was long and tangled. Her once paper white skin was grey with dirt and so was her dress. The colours had faded and her bright red ribbon was missing but other than that she was the exact same. She even still had her sweet lavender scent. I loved lavender when I was little so my grandma scented her.
"Molly..." I say in something just above a whisper. I brought her close to my chest and squeezed her tightly.
"Why do you have this? Where did you even get this? Tommy are you a grave robber?" I ask still somewhat scared.
"God it really is you!" He whispered to himself more than me. He had an amazed look in his eyes. He sat down on the chair across from me.
"Y/n m/n l/n" he said with a smile. I was shocked, I never told him my middle name. The only one who knows my middle name is....
"Lowell?" I whisper leaning towards him a little.
He couldn't be..could he?
No Lowell's dead. He's always been dead..
"Tommy this is a sick joke you jackass!" I say shoving his shoulders harshly.
The smile on his face faded slightly. "Y/n I'm not kidding. I'll explain everything." He said looking around skepticaly. "Just not here. C'mon." He said standing up again and extending his hand.
I don't know why I did what I did but I took his hand. I was in a world of my own just thinking, as he dragged me off to an unknown area.
This can't be happening.
This isn't Lowell, he had brown hair that was curly all over not just the front and his eyes were easy blue not silver grey. There skin tone was alike I guess but Tommy had more of a tanned tint to his.
Is this a sick joke, it's not funny.
When I finally shook myself from my thoughts I looked around at the place Tommy had taken me. We were at the playground again. Sitting on the side of the sandbox.
I said nothing I just sat and listen to what he had to say. He sighed deeply not saying anything. You could cut the tension between us with a butcher knife. I sighed and cleared my throat and said.
"Go ahead I'm listening." I patiently waited as I looked at him. I was scared about the answer, maybe I didn't want to know. No I had to know, I wanted to understand this situation.
"Well..." He began to think where he should start. "When my grandma died I...I became really depressed. I hid it from you because I didn't want you to worry about me. I began to write suicide notes as a coping method. I never planned on doing anything, it was just a way to get my feelings out. I had a stack locked in a briefcase under my bed. My dad found it and picked the lock, he showed my mom and they decided to send me to a psych ward. They told me to tell you I had a disease and would die. They sent me off the next day." He explained.
"The day of the funeral...." I whispered to myself. He nodded slowly proving to me that I was right. His story made sense as his parents were very VERY religious people. They didn't support any of that, they probably thought he was being possessed or something. Funny thing was Lowell didn't believe in ghosts. I still wasn't fully convinced, well I wasn't until he pulled out a faded red toy spade with the name Lowell engraved on it. He handed it to me as I was to shocked to take it. I sat there staring at the ground a rag doll in my right hand and a toy shovel in the right. I didn't hold them for long, I couldn't so I let them go.
"Y/n I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you, I should have fought to stay here." He apologized, he was hunched over his elbows resting on his knees and his hands covering his face.
I could hear the hurt and sadness in his tone as he spoke.
He took out the coloured contacts he had in to reveal a pair of easy blue eyes.
"I dyed my hair, got it styled differently and this is fake tan. I am hiding from my parents that's why I look like this." He explained looking down as he could tell I didn't fully believe him. He buried his face back into his hands.
I was to shocked to move but my hand hesitantly put itself on his shoulder. I shook my head and swallows the lump in my throat.
I took a few deep breaths to calm down and fortunately I did. 'okay' I thought as I turned to face Tommy...or... Lowell, I don't even know anymore.
"How come when we first met you were rude, I get you might have changed but that really isn't the Lowell I know?" I ask one of the many questions on my mind.
He sighed.
"When you said your name was Y/n I didn't know if it was you or not, I panicked and wasn't thinking properly." He said looking ashamed.
My expression softened. He seemed so genuine and knowing the reason for his acting weird and just knowing who he really is I couldn't help that all the annoyance and hatred I had toward him disappeared.
I felt terrible seeing him in the state he was in so I put my arm around his shoulders and brought him into a side hug. He tensed up but quickly shifted to look at me. We stared at each other for a hot second before quickly engulfing each other in the biggest hug I've ever been in.
We held eachother as though we'd disappear from eachother again. I felt the tears burn in my eyes.
"God why Tommy though?" I ask with a little giggle, eventually pulling away from eachother. He just smiled widely and shrugged as he stuffed the rag doll and toy shovel in his backpack.
I huffed lightly and rubbed the tears from my eyes. We stood up and I gasped as I came up with an idea.
"Oh my God low, you need to meet my friend Lydia!" I exclaimed excitedly grabbing his hand and dragging him up toward the house on the hill.
He chuckled.
"Aw is little Y/n actually making friends?" He asked jokingly. I gave him an oh really look and kicked him lightly in the ankle.
He stuck his tongue out and blew raspberries at me. I rolled my eyes and continued walking. I hadn't felt this happy and excited since...I don't know.
We made small talk as we walked at the same pace up the hill. We talked about what life has been like. I told Lowell about everything except for Beetlejuice because I myself wasn't sure if he really ever existed and it was still a touchy subject.
He was amazed at what I'd been through because I'm still standing "strong and steady." When really that wasn't the reality of it. I was always a total wreck with tear stains down my cheeks, I hadn't told him about the cuts on my arms from my time in Cali.
I sighed and shook my head at him telling him "of only you knew." He went on to tell me about what had happened at the psych ward, the friends he made and even how he escaped. I could tell there was something else he wanted to say but didn't, the look in his eyes gave it all away. But I being the good friend I am didn't want to push it so I left it alone.
Lydia greeted us kindly at the door and told me Emily was upstairs taking a nap. We spent hours chatting and talking and just being eighteen.they seemed to get along well so that was good. That was until Lydia said she had college tomorrow and headed to bed. It was pretty late but since I didn't go to college I didn't mind staying up.
I dragged Lowell up to the roof to look out at the view like we always used to do. Smiling widely at him.
Little did I know things were going to escalate quickly very, very soon. And there was nothing I was going to be able to do to stop it.
At least for now things can be content, peaceful, right. Though If this is supposed to be right then why do I still feel so empty?
Why can't I just except the fact that Beej's is gone and never coming back? That is if he ever excited. That would mean even my imagination doesn't want to be with me.
Can't blame him I don't want to be with me half the time.
At least I can be at peace for now.
A/ñ
Sorry if the end is rushed.