"The hell was that?" Naruto asked while he forced himself up off the box.
"He probably dropped something." Sasuke crossed his arms with eyes up to the stairs.
"Twice? I have a weird feeling something's wrong."
"Same but I'm sure Itachi can handle it."
"No he can't...." The pregnant man sat back down on the supportive box with a groan from the ache in his back.
"What makes you say that?"
"He's too lenient and not that bright in certain areas. Sure he can handle things but he's a push over with me and Minochi. If Minochi killed someone he'd probably help him hide the body."
Sasuke laughed lightly and nodded. His brother did have his moments where he just went along with anything without question depending on the person.
"Remember when Deidara had that car accident and he ended up temporarily paralyzed? Then he got Itachi to carry him around for two months when he had actually got feeling back in his legs during the first."
"Didn't he drop Deidara down a hill when he found out?!" Naruto giggled at the college memory.
"Ha, yeah. I bet he wished he was still paralyzed then because that was a tall ass hill." Sasuke said with a chuckle down at his pregnant ex whom was now looking lost in a mixture of pain.
"Naruto?"
"Hm?" He said absentmindedly as he trailed his hands all around his swollen belly feeling for the spot the two inside were kicking.
"You okay?" He stepped back over and knelt down in front of the blonde.
"Yeah, I think. They're kicking allot..."
Sasuke placed a hand on Naruto's tummy surprised when he didn't get a command to stop. He felt something nudge his hand twice and cease.
"Wow..." Sasuke said with the release of a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"Hm they stopped." Naruto quirked a brow down at the weird bundle within.
"Is that bad?" He withdrew his hand thinking he'd hurt them somehow.
"OW! Shit!" The blonde keeled over in pain when the duo started up again instantly. He grabbed Sasuke's hand and placed it on his stomach. The kicking frenzy ended within seconds of their father's hand being set.
"Ha-ha I guess they recognize their dad." Naruto huffed out through the after wave.
"I'm sorry...."
"Huh?" The pregnant man was still confused at the kicking fit and now he was starting to feel lightheaded and somewhat hungry.
"I'm sorry for everything that I've caused and, and... Naruto are you alright?" Sasuke grabbed the blondes shoulder when he started to lean forward.
"I'm hungry..."
"Are you sure that's all?"
"Mhm...I need to go back upstairs." Naruto held back the scream that was threatening to break out. 'This is too early! God dammit Itachi!' he wailed in his mind over the discomfort.
"Okay, but I want you to know I'm still so-"
"Yeah, yeah I forgive you just get me upstairs!"
Sasuke sighed and helped the man fraught with 'evil' little twins up the stairs the best he could.
"Itachi open up! Naruto's hungry." He shouted before knocking on the door.
"Is he really hungry? Or is he just saying that?"
Sapphire orbs widened with blind fury. He pushed Sasuke off and headed back downstairs. Grabbing the ax off the hook on the wall with scary aggression he marched back up and hacked away at the door.
Sasuke was forced to fall back against the railing as the pregnant man showed spontaneous strength.
"What the hell are you guys doing?!" Itachi ran over to the door after dropping the empty milk jug in the trash bin. Opening the cracked door a little too early he had to jump back as the axe came down inches away to the floor.
"Food!" Naruto screamed when he dropped to his knees in the doorway loosing grip of said axe.
"Wait you mean food, food?"
"Yes!!"
Sasuke didn't get that code word just yet.
"Damn, okay I'll get the car! Sasuke get him to the chair."
"What the hell happened to Minochi?!" Naruto fretted over his child when he saw him on the floor passed out beside some spilled milk.
"He spazzed out from too much sweets. I'll be right back!" Itachi said while running to the hallway and out the door. He was just about to clean up that mess before the blonde started to tear the door down.
"Do you have to go somewhere special to eat?"
"Sure just get my baby off the floor!" Naruto thanked god that Sasuke was so clueless sometimes. He made it over the chair himself while his Ex picked up their son. Slowing down his breathing he tilted his head back at the growing pain within feeling as if he was about to be split open.
"Take him upstairs."
"What about yo-"
"Take him upstairs!!" Naruto hollered out in vexation through pants and evading tears.
"You're going into labor aren't you?"
"You are a fucking genius."
Sasuke grinned and shouldered their son on his right
"Why thank you, and we are going with you." He said as he cleaned their child's face with his shirt.
"No the fuck you aren't! I don't want you there!" The pregnant man shouted and bit down on his bottom lip from the rising tension.
"To bad."
"If I wasn't in excruciating pain I would kill your arrogant ass right now!"
"I'd love to see you try."
Sasuke got his wish when his Ex actually tried to get up and pick up the axe.
Thankfully Itachi came back in time with the car keys in hand.
"Ready?"
"The hell does it look like?!" Naruto fell back in the chair giving up on committing murderer.
The eldest Uchiha shook his head at the irritated blonde knowing it was going to grueling ride to the Medical Center. He managed, without insult, to get the blonde up and out to the car with Sasuke following behind them with Minochi.
"Hey Itachi I'll drive." Sasuke offered after he'd put his son in the car.
"What?! No, don't let hi-"
"Here you go." Itachi tossed the keys to his little brother while he got Naruto in.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" The blonde groaned as he was strapped in. He averted his eyes when his smug Ex sat next to him in the driver's seat.
"Don't look at me asshole."
Sasuke chortled and started up the car. He was use to this by now whereas his brother wouldn't have been able to handle it.
"So Naruto how are you feeling?"
"Go to hell and have your anus ripped apart by Satan's dick hair you fuc-"
Itachi covered the sleeping child's ears from the back seat. He defiantly couldn't have put up with Naruto for that long. With that said he was impressed with how his brother dealt with the constant insults.
"We do this all the time Itachi." Sasuke said with a grin up to the rear view mirror.
"Yeah it's a big fucking game we play just like our relationship." Naruto had his back erect to the pain while he spat out his loathing through his teeth.
"Well it's the greatest game in the world."
"If that was supposed to be romantic you failed miserably."
"You didn't use the word fuck or Satan so you must agree."
The pregnant man let out a distressed sarcastic chuckle and flipped off his ex.
"Shut the hell up and drive!"
"We're at a red light genius." Sasuke smirked over at Naruto only to receive an intense slap across the face.
"Don't look at me motherfucker! I hate you."
"Ahah, love you too babe."
"Don't call me that!"
"I already did like twice?" The raven refrained from laughing as he rubbed his tender jaw.
"That's it! Itachi you're the father now! Sasuke you stay the hell away from my kids!"
"Our kids, and you're forgetting the contract we signed huh?" He glanced over smugly at the flustered pregnant man holding his stomach.
"Don't remind me!!"
"So why'd you take the wedding agreement out?"
"Are you really asking me this right now?!"
"You're more honest when you're angry."
Sasuke wasn't trying to make the blonde mad. He just wanted to help him get his mind off what he was going through.
"Because you'd go to jail! Happy now?!"
"Why would I go to jail?"
"Oh my god! Itachi you can tell him now!" Naruto pressed his forehead against the window and took in deep breathes. He'd made the eldest Uchiha promise not to tell his brother but now he didn't care anymore. He was in unbelievable pain and driblets of clear salty fluid were already breaking through.
"Tell me what?" Sasuke looked up in the rear view to his brother in the back covering Minochi's ears still.
"He's going to die apparently." Itachi shrugged in denial that that was going to happen.
"Ha-Ha! There is no apparently Itachi! I am going to die! I am going to leave my babies in this world with a complete dick because I was stupid enough to believe in him!"
Sasuke immediately started to tap his fingers on the steering wheel to focus on channeling all his feelings into something productive than saying something stupid.
"Okay so there has to be another option or you just have a death wish."
"No there is no other option..." Naruto was pleasantly surprised that his Ex wasn't accusing him of lying again and cheating, he actually sounded concerned, angry but concerned.
"There's always another option." His fingers danced harder on the steering wheel the more agitated he got.
"There is none Sasuke..... I'm going to have them." The pain was becoming unbearable making him slip in and out of awareness.
By the time they arrived at the hospital Naruto was fully unconscious. He had to be carried in via wheelchair then onto a stretcher to the operating room.
Authors Note: (The babe thing was one of the rewritten in things in case confusion struck anyone. No biggy~)