"It's cold."
I opened my eyes slowly seeing that I was not in my bed I was standing on the balcony looking down having the garden in my view.
I'm still in my night clothes looking around my room not seeing a soul in sight yet, I can hear someone laughing.
"Come on." I look down to see a young woman below me sitting down on the bench facing the garden, her hair hung over her face so I couldn't see her even if I tried. My mind is playing tricks on me, it was about 3 o'clock in the morning and a woman was just sitting down on a bench staring into the abyss.
Doesn't make any sense.
I shook it off and ran downstairs turning corners and not one guard was present when I got to the backyard I looked all over from the spot she was at to the back of the house, but she wasn't here.
"HELLO!!!" I screamed because in all horror movies that's what happens to the person that's ready to die and get it over with.
I felt a brezze on my exposed skin looking around me to only be consumed by darkness with no light around. I heard little whispers but ddin't want to know who was doing it, my only thought was that woman. How she got in the estate and how I could use her to get me out?
My heart was beating to fast for my good seeing as I couldn't see anything but a breeze fly around me like air being sucked up. It's impossible to suck up air seeing as it's all around us but this brezze was starting to get on my nerves hitting me in my face and grabbing at my clothes.
"Stop! What the hell!"
"No!" Thye voice called back and contiuned it's annoying and repeative laughter non stop moving around my body like a fucking tornado.
"What the hell do you wnat from me!"
"Give up." The voice was sounding familiar by each growing second, She was so close yet so far for me to reach giving me the lower hand it all this.
"STOP TOUCHIN ME!!!"
"STOP FIGHTING!!!"
"Who am I fighting!?"
"Me."
I turned around out of breath looking back at what I thought was a mirror but seeing as we don't have the same clothes, it's not. She stood there frozen staring dead in my eyes the same eyes as hers, but her hair was longer and more nice and fixed. She wore a long dark red dress hugging at her ankles with a smile plastered to her face with her head tilted downwards.
"Who are you?" Her kind eyes showed a sparkle I never seen before in my life it was so peaceful to just look in her eyes never mind her body.
"I'm you."
"I know it might be a shock and all but, I promise I tell no lies." Her voice spoke soft and the way her tone didn't seem demanding like mine she was the opposite of everything that is me.
"Ok then, what's your name?"
"Beauty."
"What?" I gasp coming to realize how different she was from me and my emotions, she was everything I could never be.
"Nazira you have been fighting from the start, look at you now. Your still fighting and I don't understand why when he will do everything in his power to protect you."
"That's why, right there I hate him! Beast gave you that name that status and poisoned your mind to the point all you can think about is how to please him and make him feel love. WAKE THE FUCK UP A MONSTER CAN NOT FEEL LOVE."
"So you can't either." I was taken back at her word choice letting that sink in.
"Nazira? When you were down in those cells with that woman you already had a plan in motion. You wanted to take her life, I know you because I felt the same power when Beast holds me in his grasp."
Ok what the hell is this! Some freaky subconscious take over, she was talking like she liked it. Being held and forced to endure things she acted like she wanted to remember all those events.
"Ok? Beauty, what do you see that I don't?" She stared back at me unfazed.
"Strength is what we gain
For the madness we
Survive."
"What?!" I was confused and honestly had enough of this shit, she was being gauged like a robot under control spoke when told and breathe when released, that wasn't me!
"I don't have that much time he'll be back soon but, you do. Nazira if you want to survive you have to give in. Let all of your morals die and bury them so far under they don't exist. I can tell you already feel a connection between him and you because I feel it and indulge it much more. Stop trying and just give up."
She faded away from the garden leaving me alone looking at a broken glass. Cracked like my mind!
He controls her and she lets him that's why he calls me by a whole different name. That's his beauty, I'm his beauty.
I can't defeat him and if I keep trying I will start to lose much more than a baby, I will lose myself from within.
"WAKE UP!"
I jolted out of my dream breathing heavily my hand placed on my chest matching the pace it was going.
"Hi gatta!"
"What-t are you doing here?"
He walked over to my bedside table placing a pill and a glass of water.
"Nightmares are a bitch, but some tell us the secrets we don't want to know .... Get some sleep princess." He didn't utter around word just turned around and left.
I know Beast did this, he sent the pill it's a sleeping pill to put me back to the state only he can control. I knew it when I felt that strange coldness around me, it was him. He was watching over me as I murmured and squirm surrounded by everything dark.
"Why should I?"
Because you know it guarantees your survival.
"I don't think I can hold myself for that long!"
Don't try to think just let me take full control to help you understand who he really is.
It felt weird talking to myself seeing as I wasn't myself anymore, I was two people that didn't know who to survive in one body.
A body that he will continue to take at his disposal and I won't fight back anymore, I'm done.
------
I woke up alone remembering everything that occurred last night feeling confused but relief that it was a dream. More like nightmare! I got dressed looking at my appearance closely wondering what I could do to change it.
I skipped downstairs hearing grunts and laughing walking in the kitchen seeing Lyric and Azar talking and Carmelo talking on the phone. But no Beast in sight not surprising...
"Look who's awake! You sure slept in later than usual."
"Yeah, I had a lot to think about." Me and Carmelos eyes connected breaking apart as he walked out the kitchen in a hurry.
Me and Lyric talked for the rest of the morning eating breakfast while I noticed Azar making secretive eye glances at the both of us, but every time I was to look up his eye went somewhere else.
Beast told me actually, forbid me to talk to him but he couldn't possibly know that. He hasn't been here to even notice my separate between him.
I was walking down the hallway coming from Lyrics room bumping into someone.
"Shit I'm sorry." Were the only words to fall out my mouth holding my head.
"No it's my fault, here." I grabbed his hand and he pulled me close towards his chest I could feel his muscles from under his shirt.
"Um? Azar, I've been wanting to say I'm sorry for awhile now.
"Please don't I understand it's not your decision." He glanced back at Beastys office around the corner knowing exactly what I meant.
"I would if I could." He looked at me with a shy smile turning what looked like a mischievous smirk.
"Oh I know babygirl." He pushed a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Ok I better go."
"Why it's not like your going anywhere but your room or lyrics room. You got nowhere to go and you and I both know you aren't going anywhere any time soon."
"What's your point." I pushed back coming in contact with the wall behind me.
"My point babygirl is that you shouldn't make promises with monsters you know will end up screwing you over. Literally." He gave a nasty smirk looking down below my face to which I had enough with.
"Ok thank you for the advice I didn't ask for." I pushed him aside and felt my grip get pulled back he looked me dead in my eyes practically telling me he had me right where he wanted me.
"I got you babygirl don't worry."
"I'm not worry about shit but your gonna be if you don't let go of my arm, now!" He let me go giving me a disgusting smile soon dropping everything and looking at me with concern.
"Shit I-I'm sorry." What the fuck is his bipolar ass talking about now.
"Nazira I didn't mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable I'm just trying to tell you who Beast really is and what he's done to people in the past. He's a monster and can't protect you."
He was being actual genuine unlike what just happen 20 seconds ago, but he can't protect me from something that already has me.
"And you really think you can protect me?" His eyes soften.
"I do." I was surprised to feel his hand caressing my arm in a hold I was too familiar with.
I got out of his presence and went straight around the corner slamming the door shut. My hands felt glue down on the door as my back was turned around knowing there was fire on the other side.
"Took you long enough."
"Well, I would've been here sooner if someone wasn't so impatient and simply just straight to the point." I turned around and he was right there it front of me. His eyebrow raised and pupils filled with a smooth chestnut at such a clam state.
"Watch yourself, Nazira." He turned his back walking to his desk again.
"Nazira? Oh my god are you dying or having a stroke because you never say my name for anything unless your mad."
"Great observation I didn't fucking ask for, now get the hell out!" I swear everyone is bipolar in this place seeing as he's calm one second and wants to kill me the next.
I turned on my heels ready to get the hell out but I honestly forgot why I even cane in here for.
"Beast?" His head shot up with a smirk as if he knew what I was gonna say.
"Say it." His hushed whispers sent shivers down my spine.
"Um?"
"Say it."
It was now or never and the more he got closer to his aggressiveness in his voice the more I'll freeze up and feel completely powerless.
"Say it, beauty." I walked up to him looking at his rough figure as it hovered over my small petite body trying to contain any ounce of self control I had left.
"I'm yours beast."
"Fucking finally! Say it all." His hand traveled across my lips rubbing them while licking his.
"I give everything to you, I am yours for as long as I live. I won't fight or misbehave you have-e me until I die."
"What do I have?" He's enjoying the pain I feel coming out of my mouth.
"My mind, my soul, and-d my body." He smirked seeing as that was enough for him grabbing me by my throat and slamming me to a window cracking it and me groaning at the impact.
"Your not mine yet beauty, but soon you will be I promise just be patient." He murmured between kisses on my neck making bruises that won't go away for days he made sure. He wanted his property to walk around with the tags still on.
"What! No! I said I'm yours, now just please let me just-.!"
"Just? Just what baby?! You have disobey me since the moment I met you and now you think a couple of simple words will think I accept you as mine."
"Beast please!" I whined whining at his sudden burst of aggression at my skin.
"Beauty I won't give you what you want this isn't about you at all, it's my turn to take what I want." His hand cupped my sex and rubbed it until I was moaning at his fingertips that slipped inside purposely, he was plunging fast and hard like he wanted me to rip apart.
He ripped my shirt off and uncuffed my pants sliding them down like a water slide. It felt like a water slide was going to brush with the pace he was going.
"Ah! Stop beast please!"
"YOU ARE GONNA BE MINE NOW!" I heard his belt buckle and the sound of his material sliding down my legs. He grabbed both of my legs ripping off my wet panties slamming me harder in the glass windows. He spread them wider holding both my hands up above my head.
He looked me in my eyes the same evil smirk licking my falling tears and looking back at me with a kiss to my temple.
"YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MINE BEAUTY!"
My eyes widen at the pain I haven't felt in a long time the never ending cycle that is my life now.
-Que🤎