Air: Oh, this is gonna be a gross one, isn't it?
Nightflyer: Yeaaahhhhhh
Seashell: Fair warning, the males in the audience may want to skip this chapter.
Joy: NO. Let them see.
Air: But-
Joy: THEY MUST LEARN.
*players appear*
Clay: Hi!
Air: HI!
Clay: Do....Do you have any more Chik-fil-a nuggets?
Air: No, sorry.
Clay: Wendy's?
Rainkeeper: Just their savage tweets.
Clay: Burger King?
Kelp: Nope.
Clay: McDo-
Joy: Don't even ask, we never go there.
Clay: BUT I WANT MORE CHICKEN NUGGIES!!!!!
Peril: And APPARENTLY, frying a whole chicken doesn't COUNT as a chicken nugget, so he won't eat it.
Nightflyer: *gasps* Oh no.
Carnelian: What?
Nightflyer: WE'VE TURNED CLAY INTO A JOSH!
Air: *screams in fear*
Kelp: How do you know for sure?
Clay: From now on, I will eat nothing but chicken nuggets, and the occasional cheese pizza. Everything else is gross.
Peril: But you're a grown dragon!
Clay: And thus I can make my own terms, and that's it. Chicken nuggets or starvation.
Rainkeeper: HE IS A JOSH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Air: *crying*
Clay: I WILL EAT CHICKEN NUGGETS OR DIE.
Joy: Then perish.
Qibli: Can we move on?
Seashell: Oh- you don't want to be in a hurry to get to this dare.
All: *cower in fear behind the riot shields*
Tsunami: Alright, break it to us.
Air: Oh, all the girls are spared from this, it's a guy only dare, hosts included.
Glory: YES! HA!
Glory: NOT SUCH A TOUGH GUY NOW, ARE YOU POTTER? I'M THE CHAMPION THIS TIME!!!
Deathbringer: *slowly raises his middle finger like it was a jack in the box*
Glory: Seriously?
Deathbringer: Wha- oh! Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't know how this machine operated!
Glory: *facetalons*
Sunny: So what are the boys suffering through?
Amber: And am I excused?
Joy: Yes.
Amber: YAAAAYYYY!!!!
Winter: AM I?!?!?!?!
Joy: No.
Winter: WHHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!!
Seashell: All the guys have to experience periods.
Seashell: We apologize for any imagery that might have given you.
Joy: I don't.
All:............
Girls: *cheer, laugh at the boys*
Guys:................
Deathbringer: FUCK.
Rainkeeper: LANGUAGE!
Qibli: This.... This will not be fun.
Clay: Um......Starflight? What's a-
Starflight: NOPE, NOPE, I AM NOT EDUCATING YOU ON THIS, YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW.
Joy: Periods. You know, Shark week?
Clay: what?
Joy: Satan's waterfall.
Clay: Huh?
Joy: The Crimson Tide.
Clay: Isn't that a football team-
Joy: Your 'friend', and I hate that it's called that.
Clay: I'm still confused.
Joy: Auntie Flow? The Red Wedding? Girl Flu? Carrie?
Clay: I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Kelp: Why did us hosts have to be included in this?
Air: Because.
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*Boys start experiencing periods*
Turtle: *instantly drops to the floor, curls up in a small ball and whines*
Kinkajou: *pats him on the head* It'll be okay.
Winter: *crying*
Moon: Are.....Are you....CRYING?
Winter: NO. NO I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT. *wipes tears*
Winter: WHY THE FUCK AM I CRYING, I'M NOT UPSET- I'M ANGRY!!!!
Moon: Do you need a hug-
Winter: NO I NEED TO STAB SOMETHING!
Riptide: No need, I'M ALREADY BEING STABBED!!!
Tsunami: Oh quit being such a drama queen.
Riptide: IT'S LIKE MY INSIDES ARE IN A CAR COMPACTOR!!!! WHEN WILL THIS END!?!??!
Joy: A week.
Riptide: A WEEK?!!??!?!?!?!
Seashell: 5-7 days typically, unless you're one of those rare lucky ones who only have it last for 3 days.
Seashell: Seriously, whoever those women are, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but FUCK. YOU.
Joy: Also the people who don't get cramps. FUCK. YOU.
Air: There are probably many confused middle schoolers reading this right now.
Nightflyer: Well that's because the U.S.A.'s sex education program sucks and teaches you nothing!
Air: Wait, why aren't you in pain?
Nightflyer: Ibuprofen. *holds up a bottle of Advil*
Air: How many did you take...?
Nightflyer: It doesn't matter how many I took. What matters is I'M NOT IN PAIN.
Air: Nightflyer, don't be like your dad and become a drug addict-
Nightflyer: IF I DIE OF AN IBUPROFEN OVERDOSE THIS WEEK, I WILL. NOT. CARE.
Starflight: Wait there are drugs to make this easier? GIMME!!!!
All: NO.
Clay: I want chocolate. And Oreos. And chips. AND ALL THE SNACKS.
*two hours of food bingeing later*
Peril: Better?
Clay: No, now I hate myself, I'm fat. *cries and eats cookie*
Qibli: THE COMMERCIALS MADE THIS LOOK SO SIMPLE!!
Joy: Yeah, well I guarantee you no girl in any of those commercials playing basketball or on a waterslide at a water park were on their period.
Glory: How you holding up, DEathy?
Deathbringer: It's-It's like-
Deathbringer: It's like the most powerful soccer kicker in history put on a pair of cleats with spikes on the top, and he got a running head start to come up and kick me between the legs, and he's been doing that on repeat for hours.
Riptide: It's like I was stabbed, and the knife exploded into a thousand little tiny knifes that are now shredding my insides apart as we speak.
Turtle: I want to die. I want to DIE.
Joy: Oh, you can't die! Now's the time to go to school and sit through classes and go to gym class and climb up stairs and go to work and-
Clay: PLEASE STOP LISTING THINGS.
Winter: Aren't there supplies you need for this too?
Air: There most certainly are.
Deathbringer: Great! I'm broke. Where's the nearest place I can get them for free?
Girls:............
Girls: *burst out laughing*
Seashell: Newflash, boys, feminine hygiene products aren't like condoms. There's no place you can go to get them for free. You have to PAY for them, and they ain't cheap.
Clay: But what if it's an emergency and you're in a public bathroom?
Joy: You need a dime or a quarter then to feed the machine and get a shitty one. IF they even have one.
Guys: *staring in pained horror*
Air: I feel like we're just ranting now.
Joy: No, we're just releasing our inner Tara.
Rainkeeper: I.....I want to sleep forever, but that's true.
Starflight: I would go to sleep but I'M IN EXTREME PAIN *eyes water*
Fatespeaker: Want some tea?
Starflight: Yes please *cries*
Turtle: IS EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK LIKE THIS?
Seashell: Sometimes.
Joy: Sometimes the pain fades in and out.
Air: It differs for everyone.
Joy: Oh, and shameless promotion of content we love- if anyone, particularly our U.S. peeps who are gonna need it, wants to get a better sex ed than they have, get Webtoon, and read Boo! It's Sex. GREAT comic, and not about periods.
Nightflyer: *pops another Ibuprofen*
Air: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE MORE THAN 6 IN A DAY!
Nightflyer: I'm on 12.
Air: OH MY MOONS.
Winter: THIS. THIS IS WHY I WANT TO BE A BOY AGAIN.
Amber: You know, I got all the downsides to being a girl too, and I still regret nothing.
Deathbringer: CAN THIS HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING DARE BE OVER WITH YET????
Joy: Nope, you all have to suffer another week of this.
Riptide: WHY WOULD NATURE DO THIS????
Seashell: We'll put it in simple terms.
Joy: Uterus wants baby. You don't have baby. Uterus wants REVENGE.
Seashell: Every. Single. Month. For about 20-30 years.
Boys: *scream in horror*
Clay: IT GETS BETTER WHEN IT ENDS FINALLY, RIGHT???
Girls:..............
Air: Uh......YEAH, SUUUUUUUREEEEEE
Joy: Have some more Ibuprofen.