Season Six, Episode One
Good Mourning
WARNING
There will be mention of postpartum depression, if reading about it will be a trigger for you then I suggest just skipping this chapter.
If you need to skip the chapter and you want to know what happened, just comment and I'll send you a summery!
You are an amazing mother and you are doing an amazing job, you've got this!
Warning
There will be mention of unwillingness to live, if that is a trigger for you, don't read the second half of the book!
I <3 you guys!
Day One
The past couple of weeks were hard. It seemed like Max's brain was going through a constant loop with Christina rushing into her hospital room and telling everybody that their Dad had died and as much as Max tried to be there for her new baby, all she could think about was how Malakai shared his birthday with her Dads death. Mark was a saint though, he understood. He knew that things were going to be hard for the Mallard family when Robert passed but no matter how prepared or how much you've come to terms, losing your father was going to be just as hard.
Things didn't get any better when she finally came back to work and it wasn't Max's decision. She had gotten a page from Derek, a 911 to be exact. With Malakai in his stroller for newborns, she walked inside the hospital and she noticed a bunch of her co-workers crying and Derek at the entrance waiting for her.
"George O'Malley died" He said straight to the point and as soon as he said that, she knew why he had paged her.
"Where is she" Max asked, not waiting for a reply, she began to walk knowing that Derek would follow.
"I don't know. We just got out of surgery, the Chief said that his Mom was on her way to the hospital so I would start there" Derek told her before steering off to somewhere else.
It didn't help much not knowing where Callie was, they hospital wasn't a small place so she could be anywhere.
Since Max wasn't officially working, she didn't really have a need to drop Malakai off at the daycare and plus every single one of her friends loved him so maybe he could shed some light today.
She found her on the second floor lobby, she wondered if that was where they were keeping George so that Mrs. O'Malley could say her peace. Callie stood next to Miranda, they both looked like they had just finished crying and both staring at the Chief talk to Mrs. O'Malley.
"Hey, Callie" Max approaches softly, stopping herself and the stroller inches away from the two.
"Max, what are you doing here?" Callie turned to her friend, wiping under her eyes to get rid of any wetness.
"Shep, paged me. He told me about O'Malley" She told her honestly, pushing Malakai's stroller slightly.
"It doesn't feel real, does this feel real to you?" Callie looked over at Miranda and then at Max.
"No. I don't know" Miranda chocked out.
"Oh, crap" Callie said when Mrs. O'Malley looked over at her, "I don't want... I can't-"
"Nope, no. You can't walk away now, she's already saw you" Max said when she noticed Callie begin to freak out.
"Come on" Miranda added.
They watched Callie take in a deep breath and walk over to meet Mrs. O'Malley, "I can't watch" Max whispered, bending down to look at her sleeping baby. It was almost the four hour mark, which meant that Malakai was going to need to be fed.
"I have to feed, Malakai. I'll see you later" Max said swiftly, backing the stroller up and then turning around to get into the elevator.
She immediately pressed the needed button, watching the doors shut close, she let out a shaky sigh. Shaking her head, she walked off of the elevator only to run into Mark.
"Hey, Maxi. What are you doing here?" Mark stopped, looking at the baby and then to Max.
"Derek, he called me. I figured it wouldn't hurt to come by and see how Miranda and Callie were doing" Max explained.
"Oh, I think their down on two" Mark told her, pointing to the ground.
"I know, I was just there. Malakai needed feeding so I figured I would feed him here" Max shrugged, pushing the stroller around him and to the nearest on-call room.
"On my floor?"
"Yes, Mark. On your floor, why is that a problem?" Max let out a breathy sigh, bringing her hand to her face to rub her temples.
"No, there's no problem. I was just asking" Mark rushed, opening the door so she could get in easier.
"You wanna feed him"
Mark stares at her for a moment, "Sure" He blinked.
She sat down on the bed, pulling the stroller closer to herself so she could reach the diaper bag, looking up she noticed Mark standing there doing nothing, "Aren't you going to pick him up?"
"Right" He pinched his mouth together, reaching down to unbuckle the baby and gently lifting him up.
Max stood up from the bed and walked over to the microwave, putting the bottle inside and heating it for 30 seconds. Yanking the door open, she passed the bottle to Mark.
"Here" She whispered, sitting back down when he took it.
"Are you sure you don't want to feed him?" Mark asked gently.
"I'm quite sure, Mark" Max snapped back, "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that"
"You're right, I'm sorry" Mark looked back down at Malakai, his small hands resting on Marks forearm.
"I'm sorry" Max cried out, bending down to hide her face from Mark, she couldn't be weak in front him.
Mark moved fast, getting off the bed to sit in front of Max, carful to not hurt Malakai.
"You are doing the best that you can and I see how hard you are working. You are beautiful and the most amazing mother, we can get through this together" Mark brought his free hand and rested it on top of Max's, "I am so in love with you Max" He reassured her, bringing her forehead closer to his lips to give her a kiss.
She finally lifted her head, revealing the dark circles around her eyes, some from her mascara leaking and some from lack of sleep.
"Okay" She nodded.
"Okay" Mark repeated, he didn't move back to the bed, he just stayed by her feet, close enough to make her feel his presence.
Mark has taken Malakai for a little while, clearing part of his schedule so that Max could have a little break.
She wondered around the hospital, trying to find Callie, Miranda or at least Lexie. She reached the E.R., spotting Arizona from afar.
"Hey, Arizona. Have you seen Callie, Miranda or Lexie?" Max walked up to Arizona slowly.
"Callie just came down here, she said something up having to decide if George was a donor to her not being the most important person in his life? As for Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey, I haven't seen them. Sorry" Arizona turned around and smiled at Max, faltering briefly when she noticed the look on Max's face.
"Right, thank you" Max gave her a tired smile, retrieving back so she could get out of the E.R.
"Hey, Max?" Arizona called out, making Max turn back around, "Are you feeling okay?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm perfectly fine" Max scoffed.
"Okay, well, if you need anything, I'll be more than happy to help" Arizona shift back to her cheery mood, knowing that it was best to not sure her that she was worried.
"Thank you, Arizona" Max nodded her head and pushed out of the E.R. and headed to Izzie Stevens room.
She noticed Callie talking outside of Izzie's room with Alex, you could tell that they were slightly arguing which made Max a little hesitant to even go over there but she decided against it.
"Hey, guys. What are we doin out here?" Max asked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Alex won't tell Izzie that George died" Callie told Max, bringing her arms to her chest.
"Oh, what's her B.U.N.?" Max looked over at Alex expectingly.
"15"
"Mmm, and her creatinine?" Max looked at him thoughtfully.
"1.5"
"Then she's strong enough and you have to tell her" Max told him, trying to guide him in the right direction.
"Why? It can wait"
"No, it can't. It can't wait because George's organs are not gonna be viable for long. If they want to use them, they have to do it soon and I have to decide if they get to use them and I need Izzie to help me because she's the one who should decide" Callie pleaded with Alex.
"And the other reason is that if you don't tell her before they unplug George and she doesn't get to say goodbye, she will never forgive you for that. You have to tell her, Alex" Max added, backing Callie up.
The three of the looked at Izzie through the window, she was staring back at them confused, she didn't understand what was happening.
They walked into the room just as Izzie grabbed her phone and tried to call George, they waited for her to be done with the voicemail so that she was fully aware.
"I know, I played the cancer card, I'm gross, whatever" Izzie said once she noticed the three staring at her.
"I need to tell you something and I need you to not panic. I need you to keep breathing, I need you to stay alive cause... I swear to god, I need you to stay alive. All right?" Alex looked at his wife and pleaded with her.
"Okay" Izzie responded breathlessly.
"O'Malley... He got in an accident, he's brain dead" Alex stared at Izzie, making no moves to stray.
"I'm sorry. What?"
Malakai went home while ago, Mark had a women come in with two severed arms so he was greatly needed there and Max felt like she was needed too. So she stood next to Callie as she listed off the organs that Izzie needed to sign off on.
"What about his heart?" Callie asked softly, leaning against the bed for support.
Izzie nodded a yes to Callie, unable to speak or say the words.
"Okay, his Eyes?" They watched Izzie suck in a deep breathe, "I know, don't want to imagine him without his eyes"
"George would give everything. His skin, his eyes- he would give everything"
Day Ten
The days came and went in a blur, George's funeral was like any other, just like the one Max went to not too long ago. Things didn't get better, she didn't have that want or need to carry her baby or even feed him and it was hard to be grateful for the things she did have. Her therapist had told her that things would get better in time but Max wasn't so sure of that anymore.
She begged the chief to let her come back, she needed to surround herself with something other then the thoughts she had when she was left alone, she needed to help someone get better.
"What's going on?" Max asked Alex, he was currently on Arizona's team so it was a little weird for him to be paging her instead of Arizona.
"This is Andy, he's got serious pain in his inguinal area and down his legs and his lower back, he's got a temp of 101 and his mom says he's been throwing up all night" Alex informed her, reading off the chart.
"Dr. Karev, I'm not familiar with Andy. I'm not on his case" Max reminded him.
"She keeps telling me that it's growing pains. Please don't tell me that this is growing pains, Dr. Mallard" Andy's Mom looks at Max with a fierce look in her eyes.
"Okay, Uh, I'll get familiar. Give me awhile to read over Andy's charts and consult with Dr. Robbins on what she knows" Max promised.
"Thank you, Dr. Mallard"
"I just want you to know that Dr. Robbins is not getting kicked off this case, she will still take the lead and make the calls, I am just an extra pair of eyes" Max nodded her head to Andy's Mom before leaving the room.
Max watched from the other side of the bridge as Derek got friendly with Lawrence Jennings, a man that Max didn't particularly like and she was pretty sure he could say the same about her. Everyone knew that the Mallards held the highest power for the hospital but they still needed to go through the leader of the board to make any major changes, which made Max almost furious considering the ultimate decision now came down to her and her brother. And it didn't help much that she was getting pushed out of the 'know'.
She continued to watch from the distance, trying her hardest to read lips but with Jennings back towards her and with how small Derek's lips actually were, it was quite hard. Her eyes traveled to the big window behind them the separated the Chiefs office, she noticed Callie's 'game face' and that wasn't good for anybody especially with someone like Jennings so close.
"Yes I am. I'm a superstar- a superstar with a scalpel" Callie hustled out of his office, making her way to the side that Max was standing.
"Torres-"
"No! Don't say my name. Do not. I am too big of a star for you to say my name, I build arms out of nothing and legs, like god and when I win the Harper Avery and every other pride there is, you will rue this day, Chief Webber" She backed away from the Chief, "That's right. I said 'rue'" She finally was out of sight, making Max direct her attention back at Jennings and Derek.
"Tight ship you're running here, Webber. Real tight ship" Jennings practically groveled at the sight of Richard Webber and Max did not like that one bit.
Day Eleven
Max had read of Andy's charts over and over, not finding a single thing that could cause these pains other then the explanation Arizona gave but with Andy still in pain after receiving medication, that worried her into thinking that it could be something bigger.
"We've come up with every possibility that makes sense, all the test that we ran should've shown at least something" Max sat next to Arizona, they were watching Alex our Andy into a machine.
"Dr. Mallard, Dr. Robbins" The Chief said before Arizona had the chance to speak.
"Chief " The two Doctors said simultaneously.
"Did you guys order an emergent 3-D M.R.I. for this patient?" He stood there looking down at them, his hands were on his hips, a clear sign that he was mad.
"Okay, you're mad. I see that but with the patients mother's insurance, it could take weeks to get an M.R.I. and specialty pain referral-" Arizona sat up from her chair while Max just propped her elbow on the arm rest and sighed.
"So you expect the hospital to pay for this with whose money?" Richard dragged on.
"Oh, well, sir, I only thought that-"
"I don't want to hear it, Dr. Robbins. Now discharge your patient, refer him back to his physician and do it now" Richard continued to yell.
Max groaned from her chair, standing up to fully look at Richard, "I don't know what's going on with you, hell, maybe I do but this is the exact reason why we are not the number one hospital. We send patients home that could be dying, for what? For you to look good in front of Jennings? That is not how I run this hospital, I will not send him home because it'll make you look good. If I have to put my own money down so this kid gets an actual shot at living his life pain free, then so be it"
Richard just looked at his niece and scoffed, he couldn't even bother trying to convince Max how big of a disaster this could turn out.
"Dr. Karev. Change of plans" Max almost broke her neck at how fast she turned to look at Arizona, her eyes were big and her mouth was slightly hanging.
"What are you doing?"
"If you spent your money on every patient that comes through here, that doesn't have the means or ability to pay for treatment. You'll be broke. Don't dip your foot into that water, you may never come back" Arizona shook her head at Max, she was right and they both knew it but if Max could find a way for Andy and his Mother to get the closure they need, then she will find it.
"Send them to Mercy West, it may take awhile for the papers to transfer but maybe there Chief isn't an asshat"
Day Thirteen
Graham called Max late at night, he told her that Callie was still hysterically crying and he needed all the help he could get.
So there they were, in front of Callie's apartment banging on the door.
"Open up, Cal" Max yelled, banging on the door once again.
"Open the bloody door, Calliope!" Graham tried, banging on the door harder, "We will keep knocking" Graham slightly tapped Max on the shoulder, nodding his head to the empty apartment across the hall.
"Oh, wow that's really nice" Max hummed.
As soon as they heard the door open, the bounced right back into there original spot, "My ex husband died. He died. He actually got hit by a bus, George got hit by a bus and now-now I have to get a new job and-and I'm never gonna see my friends anymore and Arizona keeps bringing me doughnuts"
Max stepped back in surprise as she watched Callie break down in front of them, she watched her be vulnerable with the hardships that she was currently facing. She didn't know what to do that would comfort her friend right now, so she opted to a simple back rub.
She just needed a little more time and she would be okay, she had to be.
Season Six, Episode Two
Goodbye
The day started off as any other day, she was getting into her new routine, her new normal. She started out with her alarm clock blaring, looking over at a peaceful sleeping Mark before she got out of bed completely. Starting breakfast was her favorite routine, she liked to know that she could at least do something right, something that at least made her family happy. The next thing on her list was to wake up Maeve and Aslan, her daughter needed to get her morning started and Aslan needed to have her morning potty. After that, she went into Malakai nursery just to make sure the baby was breathing and not crying, which he wasn't so she moved on to waking Mark up.
They all sat at the diner table together, eating breakfast silently. Mark had gotten Malakai ready for daycare and Maeve was all ready to start another day at school. See, they didn't need Max.
"It's almost time to leave" Mark sat up from the chair, setting his napkin on his plate, "Don't, let me get that. After all, you did make us a yummy breakfast" Mark said when he noticed Max's hand extend to the plate.
He watched her nod her head slightly, not saying a word as she got up from her chair and headed upstairs.
"Is Mommy going to be okay?" Maeve looked at the stairs and said once her Mon was out of ear.
"I don't know, sweetheart. I hope so"
Max had therapy next, that's where she was headed. Mark had already taken Malakai to the hospital daycare, that was another thing that made Max realize how much she wasn't needed.
She stepped foot into Dr. Wyatts room, she didn't bother to knock, she knew that Dr. Wyatt wasn't seeing anybody at this time.
"Dr. Mallard, good to see you again" Dr. Wyatt greeted her.
Max didn't look at her, she just went straight to the ugly couch by the window.
"How are you feeling today, Max?" Dr. Wyatt began with her normal routine questions.
All Max did was shrug her shoulders, "I'm fine"
"Max" Dr. Wyatt said, making her look up "How are you feeling today?"
Max let out a shaky sigh, "I feel useless"
"Okay and why do you think that is?" Dr. Wyatt asked.
"I just don't feel like I'm needed"
Dr. Wyatt began to write in her little notebook, that made Max more anxious, "Why is that?"
Max sat there and pondered the question, why was she feeling this way? "I don't know. I don't contribute much to the family, Maeve is a literal genius and Mark is doing pretty well taking care of Malakai. I see them, I see them do all this stuff without me"
"Tell me what you did last week?" Dr. Wyatt suddenly asked.
"I helped Maeve put together a science project for her school" Max shrugged.
"What else?" She asked.
"I helped Graham move into his new apartment"
"What else?" She pressed further.
"I, I-uh, I sat in Callie's apartment and we talked about George"
"What else?" She said again, this time she said it softer.
"I listened to Mark talk about his plastics patient and I helped him come up with a way to fix them and I baked Izzie Stevens a cake and I helped a friend come to terms with her jealousy and I helped my Mom find a new apartment" Max was getting frustrated, why was any of that so important.
Dr. Wyatt just stared at Max, like she saw something that Max didn't, "It's easy to focus on the things we aren't getting right but once you step back, you'll realize that there is a ton of moments to be happy about. Moments where you were the first person that crossed someone's mind, when they needed help or just a friend. You don't have to get it right all the time, that's not what we live for. The only thing that matters is that you try"
Max couldn't look at the women sitting in front of her, she couldn't let her look at the sobs that were threatening to come out. She desperately wished that she would be on the same page as her friends and family around her, she wanted to hold Malakai without a feeling of sadness, she needed to feel all those things that reminded her of who she wanted to be.
Arizona had went to Derek behind the Chiefs back, she somehow convinced him to help her, help Andy.
Max wasn't too excited about that.
"Mmm" Arizona hummed, looking over at Derek, "Mcdreamy"
"I'm sorry?" Derek looked up, a small smirk was threatening to come out.
"I get it now- the whole, you know, Mcreamy thing. I didn't- I didn't get it before but now I get it" Arizona told him, Max didn't know if she wanted to throw up or laugh.
"You know they call you that, right?" Arizona added.
"Yes" Derek let out a breathe, his ego was definitely being filled.
Arizona smiled at him, "I'm involved by the way, in case you thought that I was just coming onto you, because I was not. Plus, well, I heard that you go married so congratulations"
"Yes, thank you" Derek smiled at her again. Ever since Max could remember, Derek was always the nerd kid but she couldn't deny that as he grew up, he became a handsome man.
Alex let out a mocking laugh, "You wrote some hokey crap on a post-it note in the residents lounge. Sorry, but until you're sweating it out in a morning coat with a ball of white taffeta coming at you, you're not really married"
"Oh, okay. Well, I've consummated mine. I consummate mine all the time. How's that going for you, Karev? Girls talk. You might want to consider that the next time you judge my post-it" Derek let Alex haven't and well, it was pretty funny to see.
"Okay, boys, let's get back to the job at hand, please?" Max stared straight on at Andy in the M.R.I., she could feel the stares that were fixated on her face. She knew what they were thinking, she was thinking the same thoughts too. What is wrong with her?
"A tethered spinal cord?" Mrs. Michaelson asked, she was shocked that they had finally figured out what was wrong with her son.
"Mmm. One of the threads in his spinal cord is attached to his tailbone. Normally the spinal cord is free at the end but with it attached, when you grew, it started pulling" Derek explained. Max watched the two doctors stand in front of the patient with sympathy.
"Thus the excruciating pain" Arizona added.
"So can we fix it? Is it fixable?" Mrs. Michaelson asked.
"It's a microsurgery" Arizona answered.
"I'll snip the tethered cord and he'll be free from pain" Derek told them how it was all going to go.
Max stepped out of the room when Mrs. Michaelson started crying, she couldn't watch it. She leaned against the the covered window in the hall, resting her head against it as well. "Andy, this is a normal Mom" she lost it as soon as she heard it. Normal. That's all Max wanted, was to be normal. Why couldn't she just be normal.
Max passed Andy's surgery over to Arizona, she was the original doctor on the case, she was the one who fought for Andy. She deserved it.
She didn't even want to watch from afar, she had other plans and that involved Dr. Wyatt. So as she sat on the same ugly couch like before, this time she was ready.
"How are you feeling today, Max?" Dr. Wyatt looked at the Doctor like she has been for months.
"I feel like I'm ready" Max sighed, nodding her head with hope.
Dr. Wyatt let out a smile, a typical smile but deep down it was something different. Months and Months of back and forth therapy, trying out new things, new medications, new techniques. This was a breakthrough moment, a moment that everyone had been waiting for, especially Max.
//
Not edited
AUTHORS NOTE
thank you guys for reading, I know this chapter had some tough talk but you can't portray real life without real life situations.
<3333
FIRST CHAPTER OF MY ALEX KAREV BOOK 'ENDGAME' IS UP!! GO READ(: