(I don't know if I should have put all of these chapters into books of their own with 50 chapter each, but I guess since I'm this far, I guess I'll continue with this. I'm satisfied with how far this is going, though at times I feel like I'm getting low on ideas, but then something pops up and creates something bigger than what I imagined. I hope that those of you who are reading this is enjoying it. I'm pretty much writing this for my own fun. I don't care where this goes as long as I'm enjoying this and you few guys are enjoying it as well. So, thank you for coming this far with this. I thought that 100 was going to be the cut off with this, but I know for sure that this is going to be close to 200, if not a little over. I think I'm soon going to make this fic end and pick up with another story so then this one isn't so long. I would do that to make it shorter and chop it into 50 chapters, but I don't want to lose the reads/votes. Anyways, I hope that you'll like what is to come, and thank you again for reading this. *Throws reader two potatoes*)
I had woken up before we arrived at the apartment with the sun shining on my face. It was warm, like I was being covered by a soft blanket. I closed my eyes again to see if I could fall asleep again, but I couldn't, so I sat up and stretched. I looked out the window to see that we were still on the road, probably far from the city still. "What time is it?" I asked in a tired tone as I pulled my mask off and pulled my glasses out of my arm. I then removed the thin layer of cloth that covered my scars. After that I looked out the window again for a few minutes before I pulled my phone, backpack, and hero costume from being absorbed in my body.
I put my hero costume into my backpack before I charged my phone with a quirk since it was almost dead, though it was shut off most of the time. I looked to the two up front. Aizawa was still asleep while Yamada looked as though he could fall asleep at any moment. I looked to my phone to see that it was ten in the morning. "Are we almost there?" I asked with a yawn and an ache in my lower back.
"Yeah, it should be-" he paused quickly to sigh tiredly, "about an hour."
"Okay." I said, bummed out that I have to wait even longer.
He looked in the rear-view mirror, "Can't sleep anymore?"
I sighed, "Nope...my back is killing me from lying down back here...so I'm more than ready to sleep in my own bed."
"Same here." he agreed. Just then Aizawa began to shuffle in his seat for a little bit before he shot forward and stayed there a couple seconds before he started to lean back in the seat and put a hand on his forehead. "You alright there, Sho?"
Aizawa let his breathing calm before he responded, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Yamada whispered, "Is it happening again?"
"N-no...I just need to sleep in my own bed; that's all." he whispered back. He then stretched as he asked, "About how long until we get back?"
"About an hour."
"Is Y/N up?"
"Yep."
Aizawa looked over his shoulder then back to the road ahead of us, "How long have you been up?"
"A couple minutes, so nothing too long." I said as I rested my chin on the palm of my hand since my elbow was resting on my knee. "You know, I can teleport us, car and all, back to the apartment."
"You just relax back there. Don't use any of your quirks, just take a breather." Yamada said.
"Fine." I said under my breath.
There was a while of silence before Aizawa asked, "Who's Tanda?"
"Me. It's the fake name I gave the criminal since he was getting pushy. I didn't want to start something since he was still wearing the bomb, so I figured I should just toss a name out there." I explained as I flopped down on the seat.
"Hmm..." Yamada hummed.
"What?" Aizawa asked.
"When I studied in America, I knew someone who was studying definitions of names from different countries and that one just happens to ring a bell..." he explained before a few minutes of silence. "Ah-ha! Now I remember! It means something along the lines of seer of death...I think?"
"How can you remember something like that?"
"Cause it's close to my last name."
"Okay." Aizawa said as he turned to look out the window.
I removed my glasses and put my arm over my eyes as I said quietly under my breath, "How fitting."
"Say something?" Yamada asked.
"Nothing."
I then must have fallen asleep since I was woken up by the car shutting off when we were back at the apartment. I got out of the car and walked alongside them towards the front door.
"You look like a doll." Yamada said with a chuckle.
"Yeah? Well I'm going to burn this dress." I said in a slight angered tone.
"Why?" Aizawa asked over his shoulder as he unlocked the door and opened it.
I scoffed as I took off my shoes, "I don't think I've told you guys my favorite colors, while the criminal was saying he was my biggest fan when he actually didn't know a thing about me."
"Your favorite color is red." Yamada said.
"And black." Aizawa added.
I picked up the shoes now that they were off and put them in my backpack, "Exactly! The guy thought it was pink! He showed me to this room, saying that it was mine, and everything inside was pink. I could tolerate that shade of pastel pink, but now I absolutely hate it!"
"You said that he was making something to eat. What did he make?" Yamada asked as I followed them into the living room.
I rolled my eyes as I shook my head, "I cannot wait to eat something that you make! The guy made instant ramen that took forever and not to mention that it was burnt! How in the hell does someone do that?!"
"You didn't eat it, right?" Aizawa asked, making sure I kept my word.
"Of course not," I looked down to Melody rubbing her face on my scarred leg, "as soon as I put it in my mouth I teleported it to the garbage can- where it belonged."
I bent down to pet Melody as Yamada asked, "Are you hungry right now? I can make something."
"No," I stood up, "you get some rest." I then bowed, "I feel ridiculous saying this while dressed like this, but thank you for all that you have done for me. If it wasn't for you guys, I'm sure that the number of people that I have killed would have gone up." I stood up right. "I know I should also be thanking everyone else who was there, but if I wasn't able to reach you guys, I'm sure it wouldn't have ended pretty. Well...it didn't...but it was better than what could have happened...oddly..."
"We're just glad you're safe." Aizawa said as he put his hands into his pockets.
"Yeah!" Yamada agreed.
"But..." Aizawa paused to lean on the back of the sofa, "are you really alright? When you said that something like that happened, we just want to be sure that it didn't trigger something. We don't want a repeat of things."
I turned around and stopped in the doorway of the little hallway and said in a cold tone, "There won't be a repeat of things...just painful nightmares and flashbacks will be the only repeats."
"Could talking about it help a little?" he suggested.
"No, it's no use. That part of my being is broken, so there's no need to fix it. I no longer give fucks about those events, so it doesn't hurt me now...it's just the vivid memories that haunt me." I said, continuing in an even colder tone.
I heard someone take a step towards me, "It's happened multiple times?" Aizawa asked quietly.
I was hesitant to go on, "It's embarrassing...but yes...so many times that I had lost count." I then put my hands up to the sides of my head and balled my hands into fists, pulling my hair as I looked down.
'Why am I talking about this! And to guys?! It's even worse!'
"What's wrong?" Yamada asked in a concerned yet kind tone.
I slowly let go of my hair and brought my hands down to my side as I looked back up, "Nothing...I'm fine." I said as I realized that tears began falling again from my emotionless face.
'Why can't I control it!'
In a disappointed tone, Aizawa said, "I'm sick of you lying. I know for a fact that you are not fine; that something is wrong. You won't admit it because-" he ended in an angered tone and as he stopped talking, I heard something hit someone, which I presume Yamada hit him.
"Please, go on." I said in a tone that was egging him on with anger slowly coming to a boil. No one said a word, so I repeated louder, "Please, go on!"
In an ashamed tone, Aizawa went on, "You won't admit it because you bottle up your emotions and wait until it's too late for help."
"So what?" I asked, level headed.
"We need and want to help you before something happens that we can't help with. We've watched you tear yourself apart too much and for too long...it hurts us too." he said just as tears started to roll down my cheeks faster.
"Take a seat." I ordered quietly, which I then heard them sit in the living room. "It first happened on my birthday...my sixth birthday. I went to the store to pick up a cupcake for myself when I was pulled into an alleyway...something as simple as that and I lost my childhood." I paused as I felt the pain of a memory fill my chest. I brought my hand up to my chest and clenched the pink frilly top. "Every time for a while when I went to the store, I was pulled into the same alleyway. I tried to get to the store a different way...but the same guy would find me..." Tears started to fall even quicker as a flashback clouded my vision. "It happened so much that it no longer scared me...I was numb to it and accepted it..." I ended the short story as my free hand clenched to the side of the skirt.
I heard them stand up from the couch, "That's horrible..." Yamada said in a hurt whisper.
"That one time when I went to the mall after school and that guy stopped me in the alleyway, I wanted him to feel the same amount of fear that I felt when it first happened to me. He won't do that ever again...I don't want anyone to deal with that ever again." I finished in a soft tone, but then took a breather before continuing in the best upbeat tone I could muster up, "It doesn't bother me...it's a past memory that can't hurt me." I said as I tried to slow the river of tears.
"If it doesn't hurt, then why are you tensed up and clenching tightly to the side of the dress?" Aizawa asked in a low and kind tone.
I turned around and gave them the best smile I could do with the river of tears still flowing, "Trust me, it doesn't hurt."
As soon as they saw me, they walked around the sofa and stood behind it as he said softly, "Y/N..."
I looked down as the smile fell and used the hand that was clenched at my chest to wipe the tears away to try and stop them, but it was no use. I let my backpack, that was over my shoulder, fall to the floor before I ran towards them with my head down. They both caught me and took me in a hug as I covered my ears. I began to wail loudly, "It hurts! It hurts! It hurts so bad! I can't do it anymore! No matter how hard I try, my past always rises to the surface! I can't do it! I just can't! I can't go on with this crippling pain and suffering!" I quieted down as they tried to console me. I whispered as I covered my face, "Please, just end my suffering."
"You've made it through so much that I know you can make it through this. You really are one of the toughest people that I know. You've got this." Yamada said in a warm and encouraging tone.
"Yeah, and all that you've been through, you use that to keep others safe cause you don't want them to hurt like you did. That is what makes you the best hero there is out there." Aizawa added.
I stepped back from them and said with a sniffle and as I wiped my eyes, "I'm sorry for wasting your time. You guys could have been sleeping since you got so little sleep, if any at all."
"You have nothing to be sorry about. When someone feels like that and someone is there to help that person, they can't just sleep when the person in pain is tearing themselves down. You know that we are always here for you." Yamada said, which sort of surprised me.
I nodded my head with a broken smile. "I'm going to bed." I turned around to go and pick up my bag and walked into the entryway, "See you guys whenever." I said before going to the stairs.
When I got to the top of the stairs, they already were in their room. I walked into mine and removed the dress, throwing it on the back of the sofa, planning on burning it later. I then walked into the bathroom and began to cut like there was no tomorrow. It had been a long time since I was covered from ankle to neck with cuts that happened to be deeper than usual. I took a hot shower so I could feel the literal burn and went to bed, with Melody by my feet, so I could pass out there. The last thing I remember thinking was, 'I really am just a shattered porcelain doll that cannot be fixed with all of the super glue in the world.'