Heroes Need Saving Too (BNHAxReader)

Chapter 142: I need space to cool off

I continued to storm down the sidewalk until I made it to the train station, which I then stopped to wait for a train. Once I was on it, I sat there, fuming with anger. Every once in a while I would catch a look of myself in reflection of the window on the other side of the train. I looked as though I was on my way to kill somebody and it felt like I was too. I didn't get to my destination until a little after eleven at night. I found myself in the same field that Shinso and I had a sparring match at, the same field that I wanted to build a house in...the same field that I killed myself at.

Once I found a large boulder, I sat on it, thinking about the thing that angered me so. I jumped down from the boulder and spun around to punch the large rock. After three hits from both fists, they were bleeding and I'm sure were nearly broken. I stood there as I felt blood dripping from my knuckles and my breathing coming to a slower pace. I jumped back on the rock and sat there again as I went back into my thoughts. I bit the inside of my lip as I felt my face contort from rage. As unknowingly I kept up the expression, I began to think of seeking help. I know that they want the best for me, but I don't want to go. Not many things piss me off, but for some reason this topic did.

Maybe it's because you're such a stubborn piece of shit.

'Yeah, I'm too stubborn to have someone else help me resolve a problem that I want to fix it on my own.'

I mean it is your problem.

'THERE WE GO! THAT'S MY REASON WHY I'M NOT GOING TO GET HELP!'

My phone buzzed, so I then took it out of my hoodie pocket.

Aizawa: Where are you? It's getting late and you have school tomorrow.

Me: I'll be back by morning.

Aizawa: What are you even doing anyways?

Me: Like I said earlier, blowing off steam.

Aizawa: Where are you?

I didn't bother to answer him, so I shut my phone off and slid it back into my pocket. Just as I did that, my phone began to buzz repeatedly, so I knew that I was getting a phone call. I answered it with a sigh, "Hello."

"Y/N, answer me right now. Where are you?" Aizawa said with stern anger in his voice.

I tried to reciprocate the tone, "Don't worry about it."

"Where. Are. You."

"I'm not going to kill myself; don't worry about it." I said before hanging up.

As soon as I did so, it began to ring again. Once it stopped ringing, I shut it down completely before I could get another call. I then slid it back in my pocket before I bought a leg up and had my foot on the top of the rock so my knee was against my chest while the other leg was dangling over the side of the rock. I rested my head on my knee as I let out a sigh of mixed emotions. I felt quite conflicted. I didn't even know why I was so angry about getting help. I've never really been so bent out of shape to not do something, especially when I could benefit from it. It's probably because I don't want someone to help me or rather than I don't want to talk about it to someone who I don't trust.

'There's that word again. Trust. How in the hell did I get to this point in my life that I can pull something like this and...and...I have to stop doing this. This takes a toll on them when I do this.'

I pounded my fists on my forehead as if I was beating myself up, literally.

If you feel that way, why don't you go back and apologize.

'How would I apologize? There isn't enough time in the world to show how sorry I am.'

Die.

'SEE! I just said that I have to stop doing this sort of thing, which includes killing myself!'