Rainkeeper: Guys, if you haven't heard, we have a Discord Channel, and it's awesome.
Joy: There's a fanart section, a meme section, a truth and dare section, and a random realization section.
Air: Fair warning- the realizations may make your brain malfunction with the new concept.
Air: Like when you realize your bones are wet.
Air: *shudders*
*players*
Clay: Hi!
Deathbringer: Hey, s-
Sunny: No.
Deathbringer: But-
Sunny: No.
Glory: Why are you-
Sunny: Nope.
Glory:.....What is she mad at us?
Deathbringer: We had a new episode of our cop show, and I maaaaaayyyyy have made her mad.
Glory: GREAT JOB, IDIOT!
Deathbringer: Hey, it's not MY FAULT!
Clay: You're not mad at me though, right Sunny?
Sunny: That depends- do you think I'm tough enough to take care of myself?
Clay: You got kidnapped and put in Burn's weirdling tower and your reaction was to befriend Smolder. Brother of the three Sandwing demons.
Clay: You can take care of yourself better than I can.
Sunny: EXACTLY, THANKS CLAY!
Clay: Anytime!
Joy: *bangs gavel*
Players: *look at her*
Joy: Now that I have attention, we need to go over something.
Joy: DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
Starflight: *raises hand*
Joy: Yes?
Starflight: That's a mini nuke from Fallout 4.
Joy: The video game part is irrelevant, but YES. THIS IS A NUCLEAR BOMB!
Joy: What about this?
Starflight: *raises hand*
Deathbringer: *hand shoots up*
Joy: Deathbringer?
Deathbringer: It's an NSV machine gun
Joy: Very good.
Peril: Why is this relevant?
Joy: Oh I'm SO glad you asked!
Joy: Because I'm in possession of both of them, and similar objects.
Players:........
All: *scream and start panicking*
Clay: *hides behind Peril*
Fatespeaker: *flips over a trash can and hides under it*
Tsunami: Are- Are you gonna use them?
Joy: Hmmmmmmm
Joy: *shrugs*
Riptide: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!?!?!?
Joy: We'll see.
Riptide: *turns to Kelp* AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS?!!??!
Kelp: Yep.
Tsunami: What....What have we done as parents....
Riptide: I don't know. I really don't know....
Sunny: I assume your nukes are apart of the dare then?
Joy: Oh no, actually they're not at all.
Joy: I just wanted to inform you of my potential powers.
Nightflyer: and the NSA watching our computer gets a little more concerned, moving onnnn,
Air: We need Clay and Starflight to sing a song.
Starflight: Oh. Okay.
Clay: Cool! What song?
Rainkeeper: Life is fun.
Clay: That sounds good.
Sunny: Life IS fun.
Starflight: Ummmm....
Seashell: Oh yeah, we definitely cast this right.
Clay: what do you mean?
Joy: Nothing!
Kelp: *clicks play on the music*
Rainkeeper: Clay, you start.
Clay: Got it.
Clay: Ahhh! Such a beautiful day
The sun's shining in a beautiful way
Gonna take a shower, brush my teeth and-
Starflight: Life is ultimately meaningless
Glory: WHAT! *burst out laughing*
Clay: Uhh... Uhh...BUT I'll get out of the house!
Get on the road, top down, hands out
Sunny: WOO!
Clay: Put on my favorite song and nod to the rhythm-
Starflight: The planet's being destroyed by your carbon emissions
Clay: But I- I-, I'll head to class!
Try my best on every test 'til I pass
And my grades are screaming in my face Ayyyy
Starflight: 98 percent of what you learn is a waste
Clay:.....YOU ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTED ME TO STUDY, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!?!?
Clay: I get to hang out with all my friends!
My friends are the friendliest friends
Can't think of a better way to spend my time
Starflight: Your brain is flawed and all your friends will die
Clay: Why would you say that....
Sunny: *starts crying*
Glory: Sunny it's okay-
Sunny: NO IT'S NOT ALL I CAN THINK OF NOW IS WHEN SCARLET THREW YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD AT US!
Glory: Wait Wha-
Deathbringer: WHAT?!?!?!
Glory: WHAT.
Deathbringer: WHAT!!!!!!
Rainkeeper: That was... That was not a fun day.
Clay: Never mind!I'm alive in the greatest nation!
Starflight: So proud of the exploitation of natives
Nightflyer: Exploitation, or just plain murder?
Clay: This graceful bird means freedom for all!
Starflight: Tell that to the slaves, and bald eagles aren't bald
Peril: Somebody's a Debby downer...
Clay: I can live in the moment, milk every second-
Starflight: At any time you could get clinical depression
Tsunami: Hmmmm.... What about now?
Sunny: Oh moons. *falls on floor*
Tsunami:.....Do you have clinical depression?
Sunny: NO, THIS IS JUST A RELATED EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
Tsunami: Oh okay.
Clay: But I'll just be happy, no matter what's in store!
Starflight: It's quite genetic and we have no cure
Clay: Uh, at leastWe are young!!
Starflight: Not for long.
Clay: LIFE IS FUN!!
Starflight: It only goes downhill
Clay: We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it
Starflight: Or you'll regret it
Kelp: F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me-
Joy: F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium bombs, N is for NO SURVIVOOOORSSS-
Kelp: JOY!
Clay: We are young
Starflight: For now
Clay: Life is fun
Starflight: For some people
Clay: We gotta make the most of it, Make the most of it
Starflight: Good luck
Clay: Woo! I got a brand new job today!
Doin stuff that'll help the economy
I'll save money and buy things at the store
Starflight: Banks can crash and capitalism is flawed
Clay: And it's all because of my hard work
Starflight: And the thousand advantages you lucked into at birth
Clay: I put a lotta effort in my resume!
Starflight: Good thing you don't have a black person's name
Clay: I'm proud to be a functioning member of society
Finally, I can be the citizen I dream to be
Part of the community, contribute with my tax
What could possibly stop me?
Starflight: The shrinking middle class
Clay: I've at least got a nice stable job
Starflight: Until it's outsourced to China or replaced by a robot
Clay: OH GOD Well then I could relax a bit
Starflight: You'll be empty with nothing to distract from it
Clay: But man I'm a passionate graduate
I can be different and I have a career paths to pick from
I could be a rapper or an animator if I'm lucky
Starflight: Neither of those will make you happy, trust me
Clay: I'm able to choose what I pursue
Starflight: You're a slave to people born richer than you
Clay: Then screw it, I'll keep going in
Then I'll party on the weekend and sing
Starflight: Thanks to autotune
Clay: We are young
Starflight: Not for long
Clay: Life is fun
Starflight: It only goes downhill
Clay: We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it
Starflight: Or you'll regret it
Clay: We are young
Starflight: We still die
Clay: Life is fun
Starflight: Until you DIE
Clay: We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it
Starflight: Because YOU'LL DIE
Clay: Life is a wonder
Starflight: You'll never know the answer
Clay: Nature is a miracle
Starflight: Natural disasters
Clay: It's good to be alive
Starflight: You could wake up with cancer
Clay: But I'm healthy
Starflight: HEALTHY PEOPLE STILL GET CANCER
Clay: I love this show
Starflight: It's the last episode
Air: I came out to have a good time and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now-
Clay: The sun is shining
Starflight: It's going to explode
Clay: Every species is beautiful and unique though
Starflight: Children have malaria thanks to mosquitoes
Clay: I met a cute girl with a ponytail
Starflight: Statistically that relationship is going to fail
Peril: HEY!!
Clay: I have a wonderful family, it's like no other
Starflight: You're not special and one day you'll bury your mother
Clay: Geez dude....
Clay: No matter what happens I can find a home!
Starflight: WE. WILL. ALL. DIE. ALONE.
Clay: There's amazing potential in every human on earth
Starflight: There's no escaping the heat death of the universe
Clay: I don't have to live life based on negative parts
No matter how bad they are, they're just thoughts
Starflight: Yeah that's fair
Clay: Wait really?
Starflight: Yeah that seems reasonable
Clay: Wait, wait, wait, wait but you were just telling me-
Starflight: Whatever man, I dunno, live your life how you want
I'm not forcing you to do anything, I'm just saying
Clay: Oh...WELL IN THAT CASE...
Clay: We are young!
Life is fun!
We gotta make the most of it! Make the most of it!
We are young!
Life is fun!
We gotta make the most of it! Make the most of it!
Starflight: Enjoy it while it lasts
Clay: *strikes an epic pose*
Starflight: No.
Air: I love it.
Joy: You C A N N O T TELL ME THIS ISN'T PATTON AND VIRGIL 100%
Rainkeeper: Like, we literally made a poster for it, it's so accurate.
Nighflyer: *unfurls poster*
Joy: We take this song very seriously.
Air: And speaaaakiiing of songs!
Kelp: What-
Air: We should make a playlist of all the songs we've used in T or D and all the favorite songs us hosts have. A TRUTH OR DARE PLAYLIST!
Kelp: Why- why would anyone listen to that?
Air: NO IDEA, BUT IT SOUNDS FUN!
Seashell: *flipping through calendar*
Seashell: When in our nonexistent free time were you planning on doing this?
Air: Uhhhhhhhh
Nightflyer: You just want an excuse to make a playlist, don't you?
Air: Yes. Yes I do.
Sunny: Are we free to leave now?
Joy: Oh yeah, I just suggest you run in a zig zag instead of a straight line.
Riptide: Wait, why-
Joy: *loads un machine gun*
Peril: Uh oh.
Tsunami: GO GO GO-
Joy: LIFE IS FUN! *fires machine gun*
Players: *run away screaming*
Kelp:....Was that really necessary?
Joy: No.
Joy: But it was FUN!