Air: GUYS LEGOS OH MY MOONS!!!!! *squeals*
Rainkeeper: What happened now?
Nightflyer: I took her to a lego store and let her design a bunch of legos people.
Air: LOOOOOOOOOK!!!!1 I made CHARLIE AND JACK AND THEY'RE AWESOME! AND CHARLIE HAS A CROWN AND A SWORD BECAUSE SHE'S THE QUEEN!
Nightflyer: Wait... I thought the store said you could only have one accessory per figure.
Air: Yup!
Nightflyer: Then why does Charlie have two?
Air:........Um........
Nightflyer:....Aiiiirrrr-
Air: I can't go back to jail! *runs away*
Joy: Yesss, my little apprentice. Steal tiny, meaningless objects. Soon you will be robbing houses mwahahahaha.
*players appear*
Kelp: QIBLI WE HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.
Qibli: I'm listening....
Nightflyer: Qibli, meet Qibli.
Qibli:.......What?
Kinkajou: Awwwww!!! Cutie!!!
Winter: Why does that penguin have an artichoke- this is not accurate with the diet of penguins or the nature of artichokes.
Air: SO BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENED IS OUR SCAVENGER AUTHOR'S FRIEND AND HER BOYFRIEND ADOPTED A PENGUIN AND NEEDED A NAME,
Joy: So naturally we started shouting out dragon names,
Air: AND THEY LIKED QIBLI, SO NOW WE HAVE A GENDERLESS NIECE/NEPHEW NAMED QIBLI.
Nightflyer: What IS the gender neutral term for niece and nephew? Is there one?
Qibli: Aww, you guys like me enough to name a penguin child after me.
Air: WE ALSO HAVE A BUNNY AND IT'S THE SOFTEST THING I HAVE EVER HELD AND ITS NAME IS UMBER.
Amber: Don't you mean Amber?
Nightflyer: Nope, because now we can have an Umber and an Amber in the JW.
Joy: The bunny is joining you from now on whether you like it or not.
Amber: Oh.
Kinkajou: YAY! BUNNY!
Sunny: What are we doing today?
Deathbringer: Cop show?
Nightflyer: Sssshhhhhhhh, we're not gonna talk about that.
Rainkeeper: We have a four day weekend coming up, we're gonna try to work on that.
Kelp: Today we'll be playing Seven Up.
Nightflyer: Also known as Heads up, Seven up, Seven heads up, Heads up, and Heads down, thumbs up. Not to be confused with the common charade game of Heads up, the enjoyable beverage of seven up, or the store chain of seven eleven.
Joy: And we will be playing TO THE DEATH.
Riptide: How do you play Seven up to the death?
Rainkeeper: I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out. Now here's the rules for all of you uncultured dragons that have never played.
Seashell: We pick seven dragons-
Air: *unveils the wheel*
All: *screams*
Seashell: And those dragons are "it" while everybody else sits down, puts their head down, and sticks their thumb up.
Air: Like a thumbs up.
Seashell: Then the seven go around and everybody picks someone, picking them by tapping their thumb. If your thumb is tapped, you put it down. Once everyone has chosen, the seven return to the front of the room and say "Heads up, seven up".
Joy: If your thumb was chosen, you stand up.
Kelp: And if it wasn't, you sit there with the knowledge that you will never be loved.
Seashell: Everyone that was chosen then takes turns choosing who they think tapped their thumb. If you're right, you get to switch places with them and become one of the seven. If you're wrong, you sit back down.
Joy: BUT, to make it more interesting, IF YOU PICK WRONG, YOU DIE, AND IF YOU PICK RIGHT, THEN THE DRAGON THAT PICKED YOU DIES HAHAHAHA.
Kelp: Calm down.
Joy: Okay.
Peril: So basically the only good option you have is to not be picked.
Nightflyer: Exactly.
Kelp: Now let's see who our Seven lucky players will be!
Joy: Alright, let's see whose joining the Umbrella Academy.
Joy: Yes, we watch that. Yes, we just finished season 1. Agnes and Hazel own my heart.
*seven wheel spins later*
Nightflyer: And our Luther, Allison, Diego, Ben, Five, Klaus, and Vanya aaaareeee
Air: Qibli! Clay! Starflight! Tsunami! Riptide! Turtle! and Sunny!
Joy: The wheel is strange in its ways.
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*a bunch of tables appear and everybody sits down*
Kinkajou: Wait, you hosts are playing too?
Nightflyer: Unfortunately.
Joy: Yup!
Sunny: Alright, um.... Heads down, thumbs up?
All but Seven: *puts heads down, sticks thumb up*
Seven: *picks their victims*
Sunny: Heads up, seven up!
*Joy, Kelp, Air, Nightflyer, Seashell, Rainkeeper, and Peril stand up*
Hosts:........
Joy: I can't help but feel like we were targeted here.
Qibli: You were.
Rainkeeper: Peril? Your guess?
Peril: Clay.
Clay: HOW DID YOU KNOW?
Peril: YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TOUCH ME.
Clay: BUT-
*trapdoor opens beneath Clay and he drops to his death, screaming*
Peril: *screams*
Joy: And now you take his place.
Winter: I think I like this game better than musical chairs to the death.
Deathbringer: I disagree.
Sunny: Joy? Your guess?
Joy: Hmmmm...... Tsunami.
Tsunami: DAMN IT!
*trapdoor opens, Tsunami dies*
Joy: *takes her place*
Kelp: How did you....
Joy: I'm dating her son. It was obvious.
Sunny: Air?
Air: Um.....Riptide?
Riptide: Nope, sorry kiddo.
Air: Welp.
*trapdoor opens under Air, she dies*
Nightflyer: *pained noises*
Sunny: Kelp?
Kelp: Let's go with.....Turtle.
Turtle: HOW-
*trapdoor opens*
Kelp: *takes Turtle's place*
Joy: YAY!!!
Sunny: Rainkeeper?
Rainkeeper: You.
Sunny: Sorry.
Rainkeeper: Eh, worth a shot. *trapdoors and dies*
Sunny: Nightflyer?
Nightflyer: See, this is why this game is difficult. Because there's a chance here that my own father may have been the one who chose me, or it could be someone completely different. But people in the game like to pick those that they like, and I would assume that my father likes me. But he knows that if he picks me, and I chose wrong, I'll die, so maybe then he wouldn't pick me in order to increase my chance of survival. Or maybe he would, and he would hope I'd be too smart to pick him, and thus lead to my own death, or I would knowingly be wrong in order to spare his life, as a son is willing to do for his father. Or perhaps-
Fatespeaker: JUST PICK ALREADY-
Nightflyer: Starflight.
Starflight: Well thanks, son. *trapdoors*
Nightflyer:.... Okay. *takes his place*
Sunny: Seashell?
Seashell: Hmmmm
Seashell: Riptide?
Riptide: Oh no. *trapdoors and dies*
Seashell: Uh oh.
Kelp: Welp, looks like we're orphans now.
Seashell: At least Ripnami died together.
Joy: Alright, that was round one. Now everyone! HEADS DOWN, THUMBS UP!
*Seven are now Qibli, Sunny, Joy, Kelp, Nightflyer, Seashell, and Peril*
*Seven chooses their victims*
Sunny: Heads up seven up!
*Winter, Carnelian, Glory, Amber, Fatespeaker, Moon, and Kinkajou stand up*
Deathbringer: HA! SAFE AGAIN SUCKERS!
Deathbringer:....Glory, you better guess right though.
Glory: *glares at him*
Sunny: Alright, let's start the madness.... Kinkajou?
Kinkajou: Well, my thumb is kinda on fire so..... Peril?
Peril: This is a stupid game for me to play. *trapdoors and dies*
Air: Hey Kelp! Both our parents are dead now!
Kelp: Neat!
Kinkajou: *takes Peril spot*
Sunny: Carnelian?
Carnelian: Hmmm.......Qibli?
Kelp: Nope, it was me.
Carnelian: NOOOOOOOOOOOO *trapdoors and dies a fiery death for like the sixth time*
Sunny: Winter?
Winter: You all hate me, so it's a hard choice. But the way people cheat in this game is by looking at other people's feet, and I didn't see any feet, so I vote Joy.
Joy: DAMN DANIEL. *trapdoors and dies*
Winter: *happily takes her spot*
Kelp:......We have a problem now.
Winter: Get in line. I have plenty of enemies in front of you, Joy being one of them.
Sunny: Moon?
Moon: Uh.... I wanna say Nightflyer?
Nightflyer: You were a threat to my intelligence.
Nightflyer: CLEARLY one of us has underestimated the other. *trapdoors and dies*
Amber: Going out with a Burlesque reference. Consider me proud.
Sunny: Amber?
Amber:......Seashell.
Seashell: Sorry, no.
Amber: Welp, time to go be Satan's girlfriend, I guess *trapdoors and dies*
Winter: *scoffs* Yeah, like that'll happen.
Kelp: Exactly. Everybody knows that Satan is gay and married to his hairstylist.
Winter:......What......
Kelp: His name is Riley, they got married in hell, it's adorable. You should see their three headed cat.
Winter:.......You've been around Joy too much.
Kelp: No, I've been around Webtoon too much.
Sunny: Glory?
Glory: Who is most likely to pick me and potentially kill me......
Glory: Oh, it's totally Sunny. She knows I'm smart enough to guess her.
Sunny: *tears up* And you know I'm nice enough to let you live while I die. *trapdoors and dies*
Glory: *takes her place*
Deathbringer: WOO! GO GLORY!
Glory: DON'T APPLAUD ME, MY SISTER JUST DIED.
Deathbringer: Our kids are dead too.
Glory: And?
Deathbringer: Wow, tell us how you really feel.
Seashell: Fatespeaker?
Fatespeaker: Um..... Kelp?
Kelp: Nope!
Fatespeaker: I was meaningless anyway! *trapdoors and dies*
Glory: So there's only eight of us left alive.... How do we play now?
Qibli: I think we split it into Four up.
Kelp: Exactly. So Qibli, Seashell, Glory and I will stay Up while the rest of you sit back down.
Winter: WHAT!
Moon: That's not fair!
Kinkajou: Who got to pick that!?!?
Kelp: Me.
Moon: You have no authority here!
Winter: Yeah, you're only a host because you're Joy's boyfriend!
Kelp: Not true. I'm here because the readers asked AND because I'm Joy's boyfriend. And when Joy's not here, her power goes to me.
Kelp: Along with its armory.
Kinkajou/Moon/Winter: *sits down, puts head down with thumb up*
Kelp: Oh.....So this is why Joy likes having power....
Kelp: I see the appeal.
*the Four choose their victims*
Seashell: Heads up seven up!
*Kinkajou, Deathbringer, Winter, and Moon stand up*
Kelp: Winter?
Winter: Well this is freaking obvious. IT'S QIBLI BECAUSE HE WANTS TO KILL ME TO GET MOON FOR HIMSELF, BUT I KNEW THAT SO THE JOKE'S ON YOU QIBLI! I WIN! HA!
Qibli: Yeah, but didn't you think I would know that you would know that plan, so then I made a deal with somebody else that they would pick you for me?
Winter: Wait what?
Winter: *trapdoors and dies*
Kelp: Deathbringer?
Deathbringer: Hmmmm...... Glory loves me too much for this, and I feel like I'm a brutal father in law, so I'm gonna go with Kelp.
Kelp: Dang. *trapdoors and dies*
Deathbringer: YES! I LIVE!
Seashell: Woah. For once I'm the last host left. Weird.
Seashell: Kinkajou?
Kinkajou: QIBLI!
Qibli: nope.
Kinkajou: Oh mangoes. *trapsdoors and dies*
Seashell: And that leaves Moon.
Moon: Glory.
Glory: Ah, she got me. *trapdoors and dies*
Deathbringer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Seashell: Okay, two on two. Me and Qibli are Up.
Moon: WHY.
Seashell: Because. Now heads down, thumbs up!
*one round later*
Deathbringer: Okay, this should be easy since there's only two of you. I just killed Kelp, so Seashell's definitely pissed at me enough to kill me, but I feel like Qibli is equally willing to see me gone because we're similar. But being similar also makes us pals, so I don't think he'd kill me, but I bet you two thought of that, so he probably chose me thinking that I'd chose Seashell.
Seashell: Why is every round of this game like the potion scene from the Princess Bride?
Hosts: *respawns*
Joy: Because we love the Princess Bride, duh.
Seashell: Why are you all back?
Kelp: Couldn't miss the epic final round, could we?
Nightflyer: It's time for the inconceivable choice.
Rainkeeper: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Joy: Time to decide, Moon and Deathbringer. Who's cup is poisoned?
Moon: I think Seashell picked me. Qibli loves me too much.
Deathbringer: and I think Qibli picked me, so yeah, let's go with that.
Seashell: Is that your final answer?
Moon/Deathbringer: Yes.
Seashell: Well you were wrong, sorry.
Deathbringer: WHAT!
Joy: Don't you know, Deathbringer? The trick was that both cups were poisoned.
Deathbringer: Wh- *trapdoors and dies*
Moon: *trapdoors and dies*
Hosts: *laugh manically*
Qibli: I should...go......
Rainkeeper: Wait! We have to give you your prize for winning!
Qibli: Prize? *cowers in fear*
Air: It's an infinite supply of Chocolate milk.
Qibli:......Is it poisoned?
Joy: Nope.
Qibli: Full of drugs?
Joy: Nope.
Qibli: *narrows eyes*
Joy: *sighs*
Joy: I SWEAR THAT THE CHOCOLATE MILK IS 100% NORMAL AND WILL NOT CAUSE YOU ANY KIND OF HARM OR HALLUCINATIONS.
Qibli: *narrows eyes further*
Joy: Cross my heart and pray to Batman.
Qibli: Okay, I believe you.
Qibli: Sweet! Free chocolate milk!