Air: *has headphones on, eyes closed, swaying peacefully*
Seashell: Ummmm Air-
Nightflyer: SSHHHHH!!!!!
Seashell:.....What?
Nightflyer: Don't disturb her.
Seashell: Why not?
Nightflyer: This is the calmest and most peaceful she's been since Supernatural season 1.
Seashell: And why is that?
Air: *slowly opens her eyes and takes off headphones*
Air: You guys......
Joy: Why are you calm? Have you been eating too many CBD gummy bears?
Air: Naaahhhhh
Air: You guys need to listen to Jensen's album though. It's amazing.
Air: Just listen to this beautiful man....
Air: Look up Radio Company vol 1. on Spotify. You're welcome.
Kelp: Air, exactly when will your supernatural obsession end?
Air:..........
Air: Never.
Kelp: Oh, I just-
Air: No, like, literally, never. Supernatural is my soul now. It is immortal and eternal and will join me in the afterlife.
*players appear*
Clay: So, Halloween is over, correct?
Nightflyer: Yes.
Clay: Which means the NEXT holiday-
Sunny: IS CHRISTMAS! *puts on a Santa hat*
Clay: NO.
Starflight: Hanukkah? *spinning a dreidel*
Clay: NO.
Nightflyer: Veteran's Day is tomorrow-
Clay: And while that's important, I AM TALKING ABOUT THANKSGIVING.
Peril: *sighs*
Fatespeaker: Wait, really?
Air: Why- why is anyone surprised at this point?
Peril: Clay is under the illusion that Thanksgiving lasts the entire month of November and that every meal you eat is Thanksgiving sized. I don't have the heart to correct him.
Joy: That....THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH EATING.
Clay: See, the trick is to have Ramadan right before November hits, because then you'll be happy to eat all the food in Thanksgiving month.
Rainkeeper: *scanning through politically correct guidelines*
Rainkeeper: I... I can't even tell if you should say that or not.
Joy: I can. *takes politically correct guidelines and throws them out the window*
Joy: Say whatever the fuck you want.
All:......
Kelp: In that case.....
Air: ANGELS ARE PANSEXUAL AND THERE WAS A GAY COUPLE IN THE BIBLE, I HAVE EVIDENCE.
Nightflyer: JK ROWLING NEEDS TO BACK THE FUCK OFF.
Rainkeeper: THOMAS SANDERS NEEDS TO POST A NEW SANDERS SIDE VIDEO.
Joy: SARAH J. MAAS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AUTHOR THAT BOOKS I USED TO LOVE NOW SEEM LIKE SHORT STORIES I COULD HAVE WRITTEN WHEN I WAS FIVE. SHE HAS COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY STANDARDS FOR GOOD WRITING, AND I REGRET NOTHING
Sunny: STARFLIGHT IS STILL IN LOVE WITH ME, I THINK.
Fatespeaker: STARFLIGHT ISN'T IN LOVE WITH ME, AND I KNOW IT.
Starflight: I'M IN LOVE WITH SUNNY AND FATESPEAKER AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Glory: DEATHBRINGER IS REALLY HOT.
Deathbringer: I'M REALLY HOT.
Peril: I'M HOTTER THAN DEATHBRINGER.
Clay: I AM THE SOLE REASON FOR EVERY ENDANGERED SPECIES IN PYRRHIA.
Tsunami: ANEMONE IS DATING TAMARIN, AND IF MY MOTHER OBJECTS I'M GOING TO ACTUALLY KILL HER AND TAKE THE THRONE.
Joy: *reaches over and high fives Tsunami*
Seashell: So, now that that's out of our systems...we need you guys to be a family today.
Clay: But.... we are a family.
Sunny: Awwwww....FAMILY HUG!
Glory: Oh please no.
Clay: YES!
Tsunami: Why are you like this?
Sunny: Get over here.
*DOD group hugs*
Fatespeaker:.......
Riptide:.......
Peril:........
Deathbringer:.........
Riptide: Yeah, we are not a family.
Joy: And we're changing up your roles anyways, so STOP HUGGING AND LISTEN UP.
Kelp: Why are you so against hugs?
Joy: HUGS ARE FOR BEFORE AND AFTER BATTLE.....AND ALSO FOR ANGSTY PLOT TWISTS.
Air: *nodding in agreement*
Rainkeeper: Clay and Peril are the parents.
Peril: What?
Clay: YES! Peril! We're the adults! We're gonna be great parents.
Air: You already are.
Peril: Okay, maybe this won't be so bad.
Clay: No, this'll be awesome!! Do you wanna be the mom or the dad?
Peril:........
Rainkeeper: Sunny is the youngest, and she is dating Meerkat.
*Meerkat appears*
Sunny: *squeals in delight and tackles Meerkat*
Rainkeeper: Starflight is the middle child, dating Fatespeaker.
Starflight: I can roll with that.
Fatespeaker: So.....Nothing has changed.
Rainkeeper: And Tsunami and Glory are twins who are dating.
Tsunami/Glory:.........
Glory: Dating WHO?
Joy: We don't know.
Nightflyer: To quote the words of Moosey4d,
Air: Love that username.
Nightflyer: "D.O.D be a family with Clay and Peril as parents, and the Tsunami and Glory eldest twins who are dating, Sunny da youngest dating Meerkat and Starflight middle child dating Fatespeaker"
Glory: Is that open to interpretation? CAUSE IF SO, I SAY I'M DATING MY DEATHY.
Tsunami: THIS IS NOT ALABAMA, I AM NOT DATING MY TWIN. ESPECIALLY IF SAID TWIN IS GLORY.
Joy: Apologizes to our Alabama readers, although I'm sure you're used to it.
Seashell: Do.... Do we have readers from Alabama?
Joy: *shrugs*
Kelp: Aaaaaaannnnd ACTION!
Clay: Peril, don't you just love our children?
Peril: Well, they definitely get on our nerves.... A LOT..... but sure.
Sunny: DAD! DAD! THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, MEERKAT.
Clay: Your what?
Peril: Oh boy.
Meerkat: Hi.
Sunny: My boyfriend. *hugs him*
Clay: NO. SUNNY, YOU CANNOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
Sunny: Why noooottttt?
Clay: BECAUSE YOU ARE MY TINY BABY AND NO BOY WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET YOUR HEART BROKEN, AND I WANT TO SMASH HIS FACE IN.
Sunny: Oh.....
Peril: Clay, maybe you're overreacting. I mean, we don't even know this kid-
Clay: No, no. I have a whole slam poem prepared for this moment, therefore I am right.
Glory: You write slam poems?
Clay: Every father has a prepared speech for their daughter's boyfriend. Mine just happens to be in poetry form.
Tsunami: You do realize that both Glory and I have boyfriends, right?
Starflight: AND I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!
Clay: Well....yeah.... But Fatespeaker is basically apart of the family now, so she's cool.
Fatespeaker: Thanks Mr. Clay!
Clay: And Peril already called dibs on killing Deathbringer.
Deathbringer: Wait what?
Peril: *cracks knuckles*
Clay: And I just assume you'll break up with Riptide when you realize how much of a scaredy cat he is.
Riptide: I AM NOT A SCAREDY-
Peril: *growls*
Riptide: *screams*
Sunny: Can we hear the slam poem?
Meerkat: Maybe it'll give me a way to ease your concerns.
Clay: *scowls*
{I recommend you watch the video, it's my favorite slam poem of all time and much better when you see it}
Clay: TO THE BOYS WHO MAY ONE DAY date my daughter!
I have been waiting for you.
Since before her birth,
I have been training to KILL you.
Meerkat/Deathbringer/Riptide: *slide back in fear*
Clay: When you took your first steps I was preparing to make it so you NEVER walked again,
When you played at war I was perfecting headshots,
You CAN'T catch up at this point.
Deathbringer: Is that a challenge?
Clay: And when you first meet my daughter and fall in love with the look she sends over her shoulder,
Her crescent-moon eyes framing her laughing smile, you
Are gonna wanna talk to her.
And when those hours pass by like sprinters during that first timeless conversation-
You will also know with a deep and impending sense of dread,
That you are going to have to talk to ME.
When you first come to my home, and see the bone carving over my threshold-
Try not to imagine your own femurs so expertly carved.
Pay no attention to my "ample crawl space", my
"Room with a rubber mat and a drain", be careful
To only approach me with love for my daughter,
See, I have been seeding her childhood with tap-root hugs
To weed out indifference and apathy,
There will be no Daddy Issues for your teenage talons to latch upon. If you
Break her heart; I will hear it snap with the ear I pressed against her mother's belly-
The elbow I cradled her head in will send a message to my fist.
I have taught her that a man should never hit a woman-
Clay: Now her mother would like to add that you really shouldn't ever hit anybody-
Peril: Not true, there are a few people I would okay you beating the hell out of.
Clay: But I have taught her that a man should never hit a woman.
Consider my genes a mark of Cain;
Air: *screams*
Clay: You will suffer seven times whatever you do to her,
And she will NOT keep your secret:
You can't make fire feel afraid.
I have been teaching her love all of her life,
And all that I ask is that you continue the lesson.
Love her.
Befriend her.
Protect her- be there when I can't, and when my body gives up to the grave,
Let the grin that eternity carves into my face be a reflection of the peace that your love brings to her,
And we should get along.... JUST. FINE....
Meerkat: I think I can do that.
Sunny: *narrows eyes*
Sunny: And what if I dated a girl?
Clay:....
Clay: ADDENDUM.
To the GIRLS who may one day date my daughter!
Clay:....My wife is a better shot than I am.
Peril: *nods*
Clay: Thoughts?
Nightflyer: I love it.
Kelp: YES.
Meerkat: I promise I'll take care of your daughter, Clay.
Clay: That's MR. CLAY TO YOU.
Meerkat: Sorry Mr. Clay.
Riptide: I promise too, Mr. Clay!!
Deathbringer:......
Deathbringer: Yeah, I don't make promises for things I already do on a daily basis. Let's go, Glor-Glor.
Clay: *grabs Deathbringer by the throat*
Joy: Is Clay really this protective?
Air: Yes.
Nightflyer: YES.
Peril: Glory, how can you date such a bad boy?
Glory: You literally just answered your own question with the words 'bad boy'.
Tsunami: Good for you, sis. *high fives Glory*
Sunny: *sneaks out with Meerkat*
Starflight: I'm gonna go to the library.
Peril: Oh, I know you will because YOU'RE SUCH A SMART WELL BEHAVED CHILD, UNLIKE SOME DAUGHTERS.
Tsunami:......
Glory:........
Tsunami: I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING! *runs*
Glory: GLORYBRINGER NEVER APOLOGIZES!!! *grabs Deathbringer and runs away*
Clay: YOU HAVE A SHIP NAME???? *chases after them*
Hosts: *facetalon*
Rainkeeper: I can only imagine the insanity we're doing in the next dare.
Joy: Oh, You have no idea.