Joy: *reading Heir of Fire*
Aelin: "I claim you, Rowan Whitethorn."
Joy:.........
Joy: I claim you.
Kelp: What?
Joy: I CLaiM YoU?!?!??
Joy: BITCH.
Joy: YOU CALLED DIBS IS WHAT YOU DID.
Joy: *rips Aelin out of the book and shakes her*
Joy: WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU KISSED HIM YET??????
Kelp: Joy-
Joy: *throws Aelin back in the book and screams*
Joy: DAMN YOU MY SHIP.
Kelp: Joy.
Joy: JUST SAIL, WE ALL KNOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, YOU'RE ALREADY TALKING THROUGH EYE CONTACT AND IF THAT'S NOT A MATING BOND SIGN THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!
Kelp: Joy, I think you're scaring the other hosts.
Air: No, no, this is normal.
Seashell/Rainkeeper: *cowering under the table*
Nightflyer: *hasn't even bothered looking up from his book, this is so usual to him*
Joy: JUST-JUST- *throws book* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Kelp: Calm.
Joy: *sits down with a huff and pouts*
Kelp:.....Better?
Joy:......Yes.
Kelp: Can we start the dare now?
Joy:......Yes.
Kelp: Okay then, Seashell-
Joy: Hey Kelp?
Kelp: Yeah?
Joy: I claim you.
Kelp:.......
Joy: You're mine now.
Kelp: Joy, when have I NOT been yours?
Air: *falls*
Air: ME SHIP.
*players appear*
Players: *still looking scarred from the last dare*
Clay: So I know you are all horrified and all but......
Clay: Was....Was I good food?
Peril:.....Sure.
All: *shudders*
Nightflyer: *clears throat, trying to gain everyone's attention*
All: *chatting, ignoring him*
Nightflyer:..... *picks up a stack of books and drops them flat on the floor*
*BOOM*
All: *shuts up and stares at him*
Nightflyer: IT'S TIME FOR MAGIC CLASS, BITCHES.
Starflight: what.
Nightflyer: I GOTTA BACK TO HOGWARTS! GOTTA GET BACK TA SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL
Joy: Buddy, you already had your AVPM freakout, remember?
Nightflyer: BACK TO WITCHES AND WIZARDS AND MAGICAL BEASTS-
Kelp: Hold on, this is starting to sound like Heir of Fire.
Nightflyer: TO GOBLINS AND GHOSTS AND INCREDIBLE FEASTS-
Kelp: Never mind.
Nightflyer: IT'S ALL THAT I LOVE AND IT'S ALL THAT I NEED-well, that and Air-
Air: Awww
Nightflyer: HOGWARTS! HOGWARTS!
Glory: WE GET IT!
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*everyone appears in Hogwarts*
Nightflyer: MAN I'M GLAD I'M BACK.
Deathbringer: So what magic class are we attending? Potions? Where we will be brewing Amorentia?
Rainkeeper: Nope.
Deathbringer: Damn.
Fatespeaker: *gasps* DIVINATION?!!?!?
Air: Wrong-o.
Clay: Lunch?
Joy: No.
Peril: Care of Magical Creatures? Care of magical creatures? Care OF MAGICAL CREATURES?
Nightflyer: Unfortunately, no.
Starflight: Muggle Studies?
Sunny: Astronomy?
Riptide: Quidditch Practice?
Glory: Herbology?
Tsunami: Defense Against the Dark Arts?
Clay: Transfiguration?
Nightflyer: No, Nope, NO, Nada, Zip, Zilch, Nah.
Rainkeeper: You will be attendiiiiinnnnggg *drum rolls*
Nightflyer: CHARMS CLASS!
Players:...........*collective groan*
Deathbringer: I don't need Charms Class! I'm already SUPER charming. Like, Prince level charming.
Hosts: *gasp*
Kelp: PRINCEY? ROMAN IS THAT YOU?
Deathbringer:....no.
Nightflyer: Okay, I don't want to hear ANYONE complaining about this. You wanna know why?
Glory: *VERY sarcastically* Why?
Nightflyer: BECAUSE YOU'RE IN HOGWARTS. IN MAGIC ENGLAND. ABOUT TO TAKE A MAGIC CLASS FOR YOUR MAGIC SCHOOL. YOU AIN'T ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHIT.
Air: Just remember, whenever your school feels like shit, you're living the life that Kevin Tran and Sam Winchester always wanted. So buckle down and get through it, however tough it may be. Do it for Sam and dead Kevin.
Rainkeeper: That.....That may be the wisest thing you've ever said.
Air: I'm aware.
Nightflyer: Wolf.
All:.........
Nightflyer: What? DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO COME TO HOGWARTS AND NOT MAKE SOME KIND OF MARAUDERS RELATED PUN?
Seashell: If the pun is not made by Sirius Black or Patton, then it is not an acceptable pun.
Nightflyer: That.
Air: *screams* DING DONG DING DONG!!!!!!
Tsunami: What the hell-
Air: THAT'S THE BELL, GET TO CLASS.
Players: *roll eyes and go to Charms class*
Nightflyer: *is the teacher, because T or D's budget isn't high enough to afford Professor Flitwick*
Nightflyer: Today we will be learning the levitation charm, known as Wingardium Leviosa. Everyone repeat that.
Nightflyer/Players: WinGARdium LeviOSA
Nightflyer: And for how you move your wand, it's a simple swish and flick. Practice that.
Players: *practice swishing and flicking*
Nightflyer: Now, take your feather and try to levitate it. Go on!
Riptide: Wingardium Leviosa! *feather explodes*
All:........
Tsunami: I think we're going to need another feather over here, professor.
Nightflyer: Go see Madam Pomfrey, Seamus.
Riptide: Yes sir.
Clay: WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA! *aggressively waves wand, to no avail*
Starflight: Stop, stop, stop. You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, you're saying it wrong.
Starflight: IT's LeviOsa, not LeviosA.
Clay: YOU do it then, if you're so clever. Go on, GO ON!
Starflight: *rolls eyes*
Starflight: Wingardium Leviosa! *feather lifts gracefully into the air*
Nightflyer: Well done! See here, everyone, Ms. Granger's got it!
Clay: *sulks*
Nightflyer: Ah, just as perfect as I imagined it to be. What Charm should we learn ne-
*door slams open and Umbridge appears*
All: *screams*
Umbridge: Did you get my text?
Nightflyer: Um- yes?
Umbridge: Well you didn't text me back.
All:.......
Nightflyer: Wingardium Leviosa! *levitates away*
Hosts: *fly away after him in fear*