Dick, with his hands clenched, watched the man below him laugh uncontrollably. Batman reached towards the boy to lift him up, but he pushed his mentor away with a harsh shove of the hands, and ran for the door.
It may had been his fault that the gas had been released, but it was Joker's fault that it had been there in the first place. His fault that the man had tripped.
And like an idiot, Robin let him go free. Why had he done it again? A foggy image of a female in red and black entered his mind, but he couldn't remember who she was, or why she was at fault, too.
Dick, simply following his instincts, ran towards Joker's direction despite Batman's protests- and the fact that he didn't know where Joker even was.
The green haired man was humming to himself when Dick found him, his back faced towards the young boy. He was shorter than Dick remembered, and alone in an empty plaza, not giving a care about anything in the world. How could he act like he hadn't just held numerous civilians captive and had a man killed?
"Hey," Joker said, his voice strangely solemn. He hadn't bothered to turn around to talk to Robin. "Mad? Well, that's nothing new. For the Batman, I mean. I'm surprised, though. Why come after me alone? You couldn't possibly be plotting something, could you?"
Dick glared at back of the man's head. "Look at me," he spat. He wanted to see the criminal's face before he killed him.
The joker turned around smoothly, and Dick froze.
Joker's face was as ghostly white as ever, but his face... his face wasn't his.
It was Robin's. He even wore the mask and had a little R insignia in his purple tuxedo.
"W-What?" Dick gasped before taking a shaky step backwards.
"What what?" Joker- or was it Robin?- replied with a cock of the head.
"You- you're... you're me!" Dick exclaimed breathily.
The green haired male shook his head with a grim smile. "No, no, no... I'm not you. Robin and little Dickie are different. Robin's a hero. You- well, let's just say that you and Joker are more similar than Robin is."
Dick knitted his brows more than he thought possible. "What are you even saying?"
Joker/Robin gave a dramatic sigh. "You thought I was Joker, and came to kill me. Robin would never take a life. He's a hero, and heroes aren't supposed to kill. But you, Dick- you aren't a hero; and I'm sure you'd kill a certain smiley man and that mobster guy you keep obsessing over if given the chance."
Dick went wide eyed and rigid yet again. "No, I- I wouldn't. Bruce is helping me catch him. And... Robin- or- I mean you- aren't a hero. You couldn't even help save a person on the first day of the job, Robin. You're a failure."
Robin shrugged, slightly hurt but used to it. "Maybe, but you're not so great yourself. Whether it be Dick or Robin- we always seem to let people down, huh?"
Dick bit his lip, looked down at the ground, and tried not to let his eyes water. He was right; he and Dick were screw ups. And though he knew that there were people who looked out for him and cared, he still couldn't help but feel like he didn't deserve it.
"Look, you made me to help people. I think that includes yourself. I haven't done a very good job at it, but let me make it up, okay?" Robin asked with a quiet voice.
Dick shook his head. "No. You- we- messed up enough. Just... leave. Just disappear! I don't want to look at you again. I don't even want to think about you again!"
Robin's lips wobbled. "Dick, I know that we made a lot of mistakes, but it's never too late to-"
"Of course it's too late! That man is dead because of us, and he's never coming back! If I never created you, then Batman could've been in that mission alone, and he would've saved him!" Dick yelled through tears. "Robin, I'm sorry for all the mean things I said to you, but I mean every word. You aren't coming back."
Robin's mask moistened enough for Dick to tell that he was was also crying. "After all this time and effort? For nothing?"
Dick nodded wordlessly.
"And what about Zucco?" Robin dared to question.
Dick pursed his lips. "I don't know... Bruce'll still look for him. He's almost done, actually, with all his planning and investigating. And Oswald said he'll help..."
"Why be a nuisance when I could do it myself?" Robin retorted.
"Because I said so," Dick answered coldly.
The two halves of a boy looked at each other somberly. Dick observed Robin's chalky skin and green hair as the other gazed into his blue eyes.
"Bye, Robin," Dick said at last.
"Bye, Dick," Robin said in return, "but you'll see me again. I know it."
Dick couldn't tell whether his heart swelled with hope or dread.
Dick slowly peeled his eyes open and stared at the ceiling in the darkness of his room. He could feel the puffiness and crustiness around his eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks. He just lied on his bed, terribly tired and gloom.
He could get up and knock on Bruce's door if he wanted to. Ask if he could sleep with him tonight, like he usually did after a nightmare. After all, Dick trusted Bruce more than anyone now, and he knew that the man wouldn't judge. But he didn't want to. Dick wasn't even sure if what he just experienced was a nightmare or not. He didn't feel scared. Just... sad. And maybe a little frustrated, too.
Yeah, dreaming about your hero counterpart as another being was sorta freaky- especially since he was dressed as the Joker- but that didn't mean anything, right? It was just his subconscious being weird again.
Right?
The nine-year-old sighed and tried to rub the discomfort from his eyes. He knew that he should listen to his dreams, but he didn't want to let himself care. Caring meant hurting, so... he let his head rest back down in the pillow and closed his eyes.
- - - - - - - - -
Bruce finished a phone call just as Dick slowly walked downstairs.
"Good morning, kiddo," Bruce greeted. Dick didn't miss the small wrinkles that formed between his brows as he watched his step. "How are you doing?"
"Better," Dick mumbled sleepily. He didn't know whether the question was addressing his mental or physical health.
Last night, Dick had his head wrapped in bandages until a special doctor came over to give him stitches and antibiotics. Apparently she knew Batman's identity. He and Bruce also spoke for a bit about what happened. Dick hadn't said much, he just listened to Bruce explain who the Joker was, how wrong the mission went, and how sorry he was. Maybe he said more, but the boy hadn't paid much attention either, and mainly just cried and fallen asleep, woken up, and then fallen asleep again.
Dick walked up to Bruce and extended his arms lazily out for a hug. The billionaire enthusiastically complied and pulled him into a heartfelt embrace. Dick would be lying if he said that the action didn't make his spirit glow with gratitude.
"I wanna see Selina today," he said as he pulled out of the hug.
Bruce frowned. "I don't know, Dick... I think you should just stay home and rest for now."
The raven haired boy pouted. "I miss her. Besides, all my friends are at school so I have no one to talk to other than Alfred while you're at work."
Bruce thought it over for a couple of seconds. "Fine." Apparently he couldn't argue with that logic.
Dick cracked a smile.
"I want the doctor here to patch you up first, though," Bruce stated with that fatherly like tone he'd been using lately. "Until then, go and eat breakfast."
Dick had to force the food down his throat. Despite the hallow feeling in his stomach, he had no appetite. Alfred's normally mouth watering food appeared repelling, no offense to him. Dick didn't want the two men to worry over him, though, so he put on a smile and painfully emptied his place.
The thought of eating when that innocent man would never do so again made him want to throw it back up.
The weather seemed to reflect his mood today because through the window, Dick could see that it was cloudy and a little windy. It'd probably rain soon.
The ring of the doorbell echoed in the halls. Dick held back a groan. It would be the doctor. Alfred approached the door and opened it, revealing a familiar woman with a bag full of supplies in her hand.
"Doctor Thompkins?!" Dick questioned as he quickly sprung from his chair, momentarily sending colors jumping across his vision.
"So it really is you," the woman breathed as her eyes ran over the boy, looking for every bruise and scrape that she could spot. She turned her attention away for a moment to look around the building. "Where's Bruce?"
"Uh, I don't know. I can go look for him, though, if you want," Dick offered, already turning to find him.
"No, it's alright," Alfred spoke up between the two. "I can go fetch Master Bruce while Doctor Thompkins treats your injuries."
Thompkins gave the butler a small smile of gratitude and waited until he left to put her medical bag on the coffee table. She patted the sofa softly to gesture that she wanted Dick to sit on it. The boy did so in the silence that was beginning to feel awkward. The last and first time Dick saw her was at Oswald's club after he'd robbed the bank and had gotten a nasty gash on his leg. Now she was here in his home, and supposedly knew that Bruce was Batman.
"So, um... nice seeing you again, " Dick offered shyly.
Thompkins's eyebrows tensed as she pulled out materials from her bag. "It's nice seeing you, too, Richard. Though I'm not too thrilled to see you hurt yet again."
The third grader bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm not that hurt," he defended.
She didn't look convinced. "How'd you get this injury, anyways? I know that you were fighting Harley Quinn but I don't know the specifics of it."
"I fell," Dick explained. "From one of the shelves at the store." This time it wasn't a lie.
Thompkins nodded before gently grabbing her patient's head and unwrapping the bandages around it.
"So, how do you know Bruce?" Dick asked as the woman inspected his gash through the jungle of hair. He winced slightly when her finger made contact with it.
"I knew his father," Thompkins explained. "I never thought his son would become a vigilante. I care for Bruce deeply, so of course I agree to help him however I can, but I can't believe he thought it would be a good idea to let you become one, too."
Dick was growing irritated with people criticizing his and Bruce's choice. "I'm the one who came up with the idea," he muttered, "and I trained before doing it. It's not like I don't know how to fight and stuff."
"It's still dangerous and reckless. Bruce is an adult, so I won't stop him, but you- you're a child for heaven's sake. I'm surprised you aren't in worse shape after fighting grown men," she commented as she grabbed a disinfectant.
"That's because I trained," Dick repeated. "And I'm only this hurt because things got a little out of hand. It's my fault anyways."
Thompkins sighed. "Don't say that, sweetie... Mistakes happen. I'm sorry if I sounded judgmental earlier. It's just that... it's hard to support what Bruce does as Batman."
Dick's expression shifted. He pulled his head away just as the doctor was about to dab on an antiseptic. "Are you gonna... tell someone?" he whispered.
"No, no, no," she quickly assured. "Of course not. I know that your guys' intentions aren't bad. It's just that there's so much violence. And you're not only being exposed to a lot of it, but you're contributing to some of it, too."
Dick had to admit that she had a point. "I don't think I'll be Robin again, anyways," he said. "I'm not suit to be a hero or vigilante."
Thompkins pursed her lips as she began apply the cream to his wound. "And what about The Penguin?"
"What about him?" Dick questioned, hoping she couldn't hear the accelerated beating of his heart.
"You didn't want to leave him when I last saw you, so I assumed you had a liking to him," she informed. "I just wonder if that's still the case."
"It doesn't matter," Dick stated. It took a lot of effort to keep his voice even. "We don't talk anymore."
Thompkins hummed. "That's for the best."
"Why?" Dick asked a little too quickly- a little too sharply.
The woman shook her head faintly. "Richard, he's a criminal who has killed countless families. He's not a good person. He only cares for himself. Trust me, you made the right choice by leaving his dark influence."
Dick had to bite his tongue to keep himself from retorting a defense for Oswald. She didn't even know him! Oswald wasn't as bad as she suspected; he wasn't a freaking monster! A monster wouldn't have comforted him when he was crying. A monster wouldn't have given him an opportunity to make a deal when he was a nobody on Gotham's streets. A monster wouldn't have saved his life.
And he was Dick's friend.
Oswald killed- Dick knew that- but he didn't kill families. It might not be right, but he was better than a lot of other people in Gotham. Like Joker, for instance. He would have never subjected someone to a fate like the clown did to that poor man. Gosh... Dick couldn't even imagine Oswald in his cruelest moment doing something like that.
"You don't know that," is all he mumbled.
"I do," she declared. "I've faced him several times, and I know for a fact that he doesn't believe in trust. If he can't trust someone else, how can someone trust him? He'd stab you in the back if it benefited him, Sweetheart. It wouldn't be your fault; he just can't maintain any normal relationship. Heed my words, Richard. He's dangerous and manipulative. He'd do and say anything to get his way. I worry that you've fallen for his act."
Dick had stopped paying attention the moment she said that Oswald couldn't trust. That wasn't true because he showed him how to. Oswald was changing. Everyone seemed to be against him, but Dick would defend him. He didn't appreciate all the mean things Doctor Thompkins was saying about him. He opened his mouth to argue but he was cut off.
"Good morning, Leslie," Bruce greeted from across the hall. Alfred trailed behind him.
Thompkins turned her head to his direction. "Hi, Bruce," she answered quietly.
"Is there any problem?" Bruce asked. "Well, other than the wound on Dick's head."
The woman gave Dick a contemplating glance. He held his breath. She turned to Bruce and said, "no, not at all. But me and you are going to have a long talk about keeping the boy safe."
Dick exhaled. Bruce groaned.
After Leslie Thompkins stitched up Dick's gash, she gave Bruce a long lecture about keeping Dick away from danger. Bruce wanted to roll his eyes because- heck- everyone kept acting like he was doing it on purpose. Dick wasn't as easy to handle as he looked. Instead, the billionaire gave the healer a respectful nod.
At last, when she told them to call her if she was ever needed and left, Dick put his phone in his pocket and got ready to head to Selina's place with Bruce.
"Did she lecture you, too?" Bruce asked when they were in the car.
Dick nodded. "Does she do that often?"
"Usually. Especially now that I made you Robin," Bruce responded.
The blue eyed boy didn't have the energy to correct him that Robin wasn't going to make a comeback. Ever.
- - - - - - - - -
"Hi, Ninja! Long time no see!" Dick happily cooed. Maybe it was a little sad that his happiest moment today had been saying hi to a cat. Just a little. He petted the feline's silky, black fur. Ninja purred and rubbed herself against Dick's leg. He missed this.
Bruce knocked on the door of Selina's apartment. After a few moments, she opened it. "Uh, hi?"
Dick grinned. Okay, never mind what he thought before. Visiting Selina was the best part about today. Just seeing her face made him cheer up. "Hi! Can we hang out?"
Selina raised a brow at Bruce. "Didn't he get hurt?"
"I'm better now," Dick replied for Bruce.
"But he isn't at school, and I have to go to work. He asked to come over," Bruce explained simply.
Selina glanced inside her apartment hesitantly. Dick noticed and deflated back to how he was like back at the manor. "Sorry, I should've called first," he muttered, disheartened. "Um, you're probably busy. I'll just go-"
"No way, Dick," Selina rapidly spoke up. "You're always welcome here. The place is just a little bit of a mess, is all. If you don't mind then we're good."
Dick couldn't see anything wrong with the place by what was visible inside from outside, but his mind quickly ignored that when he saw Selina's inviting posture. The faint glimmer of excitement shone in Dick's eyes again. "Oh, okay."
"Buh-bye, Bruce," Selina dismissed, waving a hand sassily. "Unless you plan on joining our play date..."
"I'm going, I'm going," Bruce drawled. He took out his car keys. "Bye, buddy. Call me if anything."
"I know," Dick said as he watched Bruce walk away and get into the car.
"Come on," Selina insisted once the man had driven away. She opened the door wider for Dick to get inside and away from the dark and gloomy looking sky.
Dick eyes became the size of the moon as he entered the apartment. Poison Ivy was relaxing on the sofa as she read a magazine in her hands.
"Ivy?" He said aloud.
The woman's eyes moved from her magazine to the child's eyes. She lowered the object onto her lap and titled her head curiously. "Hey."
Selina caught up with them after closing the door. "I was worried that Bruce was suspicious of me for a second there. There's no way he would let you stay over if he knew Ivy was here. You don't mind, right?"
"No," Dick and Ivy said at once. They looked at each other, and Dick blushed, unsure now if the question was directed to him or not.
"Good," Selina remarked with a smirk. "Let's sit down."
She sat between Ivy and Dick on the sofa. They sat there in silence for a couple of moments awkwardly until Selina said, "okay, how about we watch TV?"
Ivy shrugged, not caring. Dick smiled at Selina. "Sure."
"I wonder if anything funny is on. Maybe the office?" The short haired woman grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. "No, wait. That's not kid friendly. Never mind."
"Naked and Afraid," Ivy suggested. "I don't watch TV, but it's always on when I come here, and it's hilarious."
Dick blinked. "Um, that doesn't sound very funny."
"It's not supposed to be," Selina said through a sigh. "And it's not kid friendly, so no."
"Just look through the channels and see what pops up," the red head muttered. She picked her magazine pack up and began reading it.
As Selina went from channel to channel, Dick just looked at the two women, perplexed by how casual this was. He didn't mind it, though. It was comforting and took his mind off of last night's events.
It didn't last.
"Oh, look. A new hero in town," Selina noted with a knowing smile as a news channel showed footage of Batman and Robin. "Look at that. He's already famous."
Dick wanted to tell her- just as he wanted to tell Bruce- that that was a one time thing. But then he realized he'd expose his and Bruce's identities to Ivy if he did that, so he kept his mouth shut.
The screen showed Robin and Batman taking down the bank robbers.
"Impressive," Ivy commented with her brows raised slightly. Dick struggled to hide the shy smile tugging at his lips.
No. He shouldn't want to smile. She didn't know how Robin had failed. She wouldn't be impressed if she knew that he'd messed up the mission, let Joker and Harley run free, and watched the civilian in his last moments. Robin didn't deserve any compliments, especially from someone as cool as her.
"Right?" Selina added with a wink in Dick's direction. "Like, man. He should teach me a thing or two."
Ivy glanced at the boy with her calculating green eyes. "Well, I'm sure you could ask Dick right now. Or should I say Robin?"
I recently got a Tik Tok lately and what I thought of after Ivy said that is:
"I know your SeCreT, your DirtY liTtle seCret!"
Also, I've been finding it harder to find time to write. I'm still able to update every week, but if there comes a week where I can't, I'll let you guys know. I say this because the next few weeks are going to be pretty busy for me. I don't like the thought of being inconsistent with updates, so I'll do my best to manage my time wisely. I just don't want the chapters to be rushed or sloppy.
The next chapter will be something special <3