Minabuti kong tapusin agad ang seatwork upang abalahin naman ang sarili sa pang-organisasyong gawain.
"Nat," pagtawag ko. "Nakita mo si Jef?"
"Alam mo…" umpisa nito. Mukhang alam ko na kung saan na naman patungo ito. "Naturingan kang part ng organization at vice president pa, ha, tapos hindi mo alam kung nasaan president niyo?" Kita mo na. Sabi ko na nga ba. "Nandoon sa office niyo! Explore-explore din kasi! Palitan kita r'yan, e!"
"Sige lang, sabihin ko kay Jef," tugon ko.
Alam naman nilang ayaw kong nasasali sa organisasyon o kung anu-ano pang kinakailangan na may posisyon. Mabuti nga't ginagampanan ko ang tungkulin kahit hindi buo ang aking loob sa pagkakasali sa organisasyong ito.
"Joke lang! Ayaw ko na ng dagdag pang intindihin sa buhay!"
Nagtungo ako sa opisina namin at doon ay nakita ang hinahanap na si Jef. Ipinasa ko ang kabuuan ng output na tinapos namin para sa foundation week. Kapag naaprubahan ang mga activities na ihinayag namin ay bibigyan kami ng pondo para maisagawa iyon.
"Seryoso talaga kayo sa partner game?" natatawa si Jef nang itanong iyon.
"Ideya nila 'yan. Pangdagdag lang daw dahil wala na silang maisip na activity o booth. Hindi naman siguro iyan aaprubahan ng council dahil mas marami at magaganda ang academic activities natin," tugon ko habang sinusubukang gumuhit sa white board doon.
"Tamang tama 'yan!" Pumalakpak ang kausap. "Ikaw na ang maglettering sa mga booth natin, ha? Para maituon na lang sa ibang bilihin 'yong perang magagamit para sa tarpaulin."
"Sige. Basta ibigay niyo sa'kin 'yong tema at gusto niyong disenyo."
Hinintay ko na rin matapos si Jef at sabay kaming bumalik sa classroom. Wala pa rin ang aming professor na umalis saglit nang makabalik kami.
"What are you? A grade school? Just stop it, will you?" Si Meriah iyon at bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkairita. Sa tabi niya ay si Leslie na nakahawak naman sa kaniyang braso. Nakaupo sila ngunit ang lingon ay nasa likuran, sa isang grupo ng mga babae.
"Ano'ng nangyayari?" isinatinig ni Jef ang tanong din sa aking isipan. Ginagamit niya ang karapatan niyang alamin ang nangyayari bilang isang presidente.
"Nagkakatuwaan lang kami, Jef. Hindi naman sadya ang pagkakatama ng papel kay Meriah," paliwanag ng kaklase.
"Hindi raw sadya? Sino'ng niloloko mo rito?" maliit man ang boses ay malakas ang loob ni Leslie. "Lagpas tatlong beses may lumipad na bolang papel dito at tumama sa'min tapos hindi sadya?"
"Teka, huminahon kayo. Pag-usapan natin 'to nang maayos," ani Jef.
"Nagkakatuwaan lang naman kami. Bintangera lang masyado 'yang Meriah na 'yan. Hindi namin sinadya iyon."
Hindi kumibo si Meriah ngunit halata ang pagtitimpi nito.
Ang kaibigan nito ang nagsalita. "Alam niyo at hindi kayo tumigil, hindi sadya? Walang sorry, hindi sadya? Aba naman pala kung gano'n," nawawalan ng pasensya nitong sabi.
"Kung hindi talaga sadya, magsorry na, pupwede ba 'yon?" ani Jef na tinatapos na ang argumento sa pagitan ng dalawa.
"Fine! We're sorry! Okay na?"
"Tss," umikot ang mata ni Meriah habang inaayos ang pagkakaupo. Bakas sa mukha ang hindi pagtanggap sa narinig.
Kahapon nang muli siyang bumalik sa klase ay kita sa mukha ng mga kaklase na hindi nila inaasahan ang pagpasok nito. Tulad ngayon, may mga insidente pa rin tulad ng kaniyang pagkakatalisod o pagkakatulak. Sa pagkakataong ito, nararamdaman ko na sinasadya talaga ito. Tulad ng siguradong nararamdaman ni Meriah, matinding inis din ang bumabalot sa'kin tuwing may nangyayaring ganoon at sumosobra pa ang aking inis na nararamdaman sa pag-iisip na wala akong magawa.
Marahil ay mainit pa rin ang dugo ng karamihan kay Meriah, tulad ko, mukhang hindi rin agad ito lilipas sa sistema nila lalo pa't dito mismo nag-aaral ang minsang nagsalita ng hindi maganda tungkol sa ABU.
"Tingin niyo ano'ng iniisip ni Meriah sa ABU?"
"Bakit naman pangalan ni Meriah ang lumalabas diyan sa bibig mo, Jef? Crush mo na?" tanong din ni Andeng.
Nasa tambayan kami. Ang tatlo ay naghahanda sa papalapit na kumpetisyon dito sa ABU habang ako ay sinusulit ang libreng oras para sa sarili bago umuwi. Bumili ako ng mga tusok-tusok kanina na ngayon ay pinagsasaluhan naming apat habang kami ni Nat ay nakikinig din sa usapan ng dalawa ngayon.
"Loko, hindi. Halata kasi na pasimple siyang pinag-ti-trip-an ng mga tao rito."
"Ililigtas mo na?"
"Kailangang panatilihin ang kaayusan sa department natin kaya responsibilidad ko 'yon."
"Bayani ka na n'yan?"
"Ang walang kwenta mong kausap, alam mo?" singhal ni Jef bago kagatin ang isaw sa stick.
"Hindi ko talaga gusto ang babaeng 'yon," anang kausap na binalewala lang ang narinig bago uminom ng palamig.
Kahapon, muli kong naalala ang kabataan. Natitiyak kong nagtagpo na kami noon. Hindi pa ako makapaniwala noong una pero alam ko… nasisigurado kong nagtagpo na kami noon sa bukid nila.
Bata pa lamang ay sensitibo na siya sa paligid at pino ang kaniyang galaw. Ang kaniyang kutis ay maipagkakaiba mo sa mga nakakasalamuha sa lugar dahil unang tingin pa lamang ay masasabing lumaki ito sa siyudad. Tamang sabihin na ito'y kutis-mayaman. Ang mga kababata kong lalaki ay nagkagusto pa sa kaniya at ang mga babae ay namangha sa taglay niyang ganda na kahit bata pa lamang siya ay makikita mo na. Marahil ay madalang makakita ng dayo sa lugar namin kaya hindi matigilan ang batang babae at inaya sa kung anu-anong klase ng laro.
Hanggang ngayon ay namamangha pa rin ako sa pagkakadiskubre kong iyon. Hindi ako makapaniwala na hindi pala ang pangyayari sa Centro Marcello University ang una naming pagkikita.
"Buti hindi na niya pinalaki pa 'yong gulo," sumali sa usapan si Nat.
"Siya pa rin kasi ang lalabas na masama," ani Andeng. "Mapapatunayan pa na nagsabi talaga siya ng masasamang salita against sa university natin."
"Subukan niya. Lintik lang ang walang ganti," tugon ni Andeng. "Hindi isinunod kay Andres Bonifacio 'tong university natin kung hindi tayo lalaban sa mga mapang-aping dayuhan!"
Natawa kami ni Jef sa sinabi niya samantalang siya ay mukhang nabubuhay ang inis sa sistema.
"Ano ba'ng pinaglalaban mo? 'Yong paglaki ng butas ng ilong mo?" Bahagya pang natawa si Jef sa sinabi.
"Ipaglalaban ko si Andres. Wala na nga siya rito, niyuyurakan pa ng kapwa Filipino-slash-dayuhan ang mga estudyante sa university niya."
"Hindi naman niya ‘to university, e," sagot na lang ni Jef habang ngumunguya.
"I mean, 'yong pangalan niya kasi! Panira ka, e."
Nagpatuloy sila at nawala na rin naman sa laman ng usapan ang kaklaseng dayo.
"Uuwi na ako, kayo ba?" tanong ko nang mainip sa pwesto. Tumayo ako at isinukbit na ang backpack.
"Uuwi na rin ako, matutulog na muna ako bago magreview ulit," ani Andeng at inumpisahang ligpitin ang mga reviewer. Hinintay ko na rin siya upang sabay na kaming maglakad pauwi.
"Maaga pa, ah? Corny niyo naman," si Nat.
"Ang sabihin mo sisilay ka na naman sa sundo ni Meriah."
Nag-iba ang pakiramdam ko sa narinig. Siguro nga ay susunduin na naman ni Chustine si Meriah. Napapadalas, ah. Gawain pa ba ng kaibigan iyon? Nag-aabala pang pumunta sa probinsya galing ng siyudad para lang sunduin ang kaibigan?
"Ano naman ngayon?" Pilit kong binalewala ang inis na hindi ko malamang kung saan nagmula.
"May sinabi ka, James?"
"Ha? Ano, Nat?" biglaan ang naging pagbaling ko sa kaibigan.
"Ano'ng "ano naman ngayon?" ang sinasabi mo?"
Nagtataka ang tingin nilang tatlo sa'kin.
"May sinabi ba ako?" Nagsalita ba ako? Pero tama ang tanong niya. Iyon ang nasa isip–.
Mariin akong napapikit at halos mapahawak sa puno ng ilong sa pagitan ng aking mga mata. Iyon ay dahil napagtanto kong lumabas sa aking bibig ang dapat na nasa isip ko lamang. Tinatraydor yata ako ng katawang tao ko.
"Never mind. Sige, una na kayo," ani Nat at nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Nilingon niya si Jef. "Samahan mo akong hunting-in ang guwapong driver. Rawr!" Mapaglaro na ang ngiti nito.
"Ha-hunting-in mo pa 'yon, hanggang tingin lang naman ang kaya mo."
"Boo!" si Andeng. "Tatlong puntos para kay Jef!"
"Gaga, hindi ako desperada, 'no. Guwapo lang siya pero tiga-CMU pa rin siya kaya ekis sa'kin 'yan."
"Puro kasi guwapo ang gusto niyo, e. 'Yong mga mabuti at matitinong lalaki hindi niyo pinapansin," ani Jef.
"Hala siya, ano namang pinaglalaban mo? Huhugutan mo si Andres?" Natawa si Nat.
"I'm done!" deklara ni Andeng. "Tara?" aniya nang lingunin ako.
"Mauuna na kami," paalam ko. "Mag-review kayo, 'yan ang gusto ni Andres," mapaglaro ang aking ngisi nang sabihin iyon.
Umuwi na rin naman kami at nang dumating sa kanto ay naghiwalay kami ng tinutungong direksyon ni Andeng.
+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+
"Sana manalo ulit ang BA department," said Leslie.
Letting the fresh air be inhaled deeply, I anticipate the view of the field while going to the auditorium.
"Why?" I asked. "Ain't sure that we'll win?"
In CMU, our batch always wins in departmental competitions like this. Our department has a bunch of smart-ass students that's why.
"Wala kasi si James," she said while fixing her selfie stick.
Oh, why's that?
"You sure it has something to do with him?"
"Hindi naman," she casually said while trying to find a good angle for selfie-ing. "Since first year, BA lagi ang champion sa mga gan’yan-gan’yan dahil sa grupo nila. Panlaban talaga sila. Hanep ang utak ng magkakaibigan na 'yon," she continued, taking some pictures every now and then.
Right. That lead them to CMU for regional quiz bee.
"Then?" absent-mindedly, I asked.
"Hindi sumali ngayon si James." She clung her arm on mine, smiling already. I know what's next. "Smile!" she said and I did, looking at her phone's camera.
“He didn’t participate because?” I’m curious.
“Dahil daw third year na, ‘yon ang narinig ko. Ewan ko ba kung ano’ng connect no’n.”
Walking like we're in a park and her, taking pictures every now and then in addition, we look like we're sight-seeing or something in a tourist attraction. But honestly, anxiety started attacking me. My worries are now in my surroundings because of the murmurs I'm hearing. They're obviously talking about us–or me. Maybe because of how slow our walk is, like we're not attending an event or maybe because of the issue about me. I guess both.
Looking at Leslie, she’s still oblivious about the nosy students.
I glanced at the people who walks fast by our side. Speak of the devil, it's the four of them who. They’re now ahead of us and walking their way to auditorium.
"Ay, teka!" My attention drifted to them when the woman with a straight, shoulder-length hair stopped and exclaimed. "'Yong phone ko naiwan ko sa bag ko." She looks like she's about to go back when a guy stopped her.
"Hindi naman tayo makakagamit ng cellphone, hayaan mo na 'yon," the guy said. I remember, he's the one who has an authoritative voice for everybody in our department.
Their voices were already clear for me to hear because we're only meters away. Few steps and we will pass them by.
"Baka lang kasi mawala," the woman replied.
"Ako na ang kukuha," it's James. "Goodluck, galingan niyo," he added and tapped each of them on their shoulder, ready to go back. But he was taken a back when he turned around, probably not expecting to see me that close. I feel intimidated as his eyes focused on me like I was the only one he's seeing. He nodded and I also did, then he proceeded afterwards. He didn't even look at Leslie!
"Goodluck, guys!" I heard Leslie cheered for the three who were left.
"Thanks, Leslie," the guy said, smiling. The two woman only smiled at her but when their eyes shifted on me, the smiles fell.
Based on their looks, I know they didn't like me and it's okay. But still, I slightly smiled to the guy when I noticed the friendly-smile he’s giving me.
"Nasaan nga pala 'yong kapalit ni James, Jefferson?" Leslie asked, curiosity can be seen on her face. Jefferson is the name. Got it.
We're now walking side by side and to my peace, I just shut my mouth.
"Nandoon na siguro, baka sumabay sa mga kaklase nang pumunta na ang klase nila," sagot niya.
"Mauna na nga tayo, Jef. Kanina pa dapat tayo nasa backstage, e," said the woman with a medium-length, dyed brown hair. I heard the irritation in her voice.
"Leslie, Meriah, una na kami, ah." It's Jef.
"Sure, goodluck," I finally said, looking at him, dismissing them in a nice way. I only glanced at the two whom I know hates me. It's obvious.
Jefferson is kind and I think I should return his kindness. And today, I decided that I will be nice to those who are good to me. Sucks to admit but I need some trust here. Having few people who chose to be good to me despite of the issue deserves the nicest version of myself–I have to keep that in mind. I need to prove them that I am not what they think I am. Oh, please, I was just angry that's why I said some things. Well... yeah, bad things. But a chance to study in peace is what I only need. It's not necessary for them to like me.
"Galingan niyo ulit!" It's Leslie.
"Oo naman, 'no!" the girl with medium-length hair said with a slight smile.
"Go, go, go, Natasha, Andrea, at Jefferson! We'll cheer for you, guys! BA for the win!" Leslie said with enthusiasm.
"Ay, thank you, thank you," Jefferson said with a shy smile. The two only smiled at Leslie and then, they're gone.
The noises can be heard already kahit na wala pa kami sa mismong loob ng auditorium. When we got inside, we sat on the nearest bleacher from the exit, far from the eyes of the crowd in front.
The MC is already discussing some things about the program when we saw James entered. He didn't see us at tuluy-tuloy lang ang lakad papunta sa area ng Business Ad. students. He's far and on a side view but I clearly saw him smile when he joined our classmates. I think it's because our classmates made an effort sa pagdadala ng cartolina na for sure ay may nakasulat na big words of encouragement to show their support for our representatives.
"Ayan na! Kinakabahan ako!" Leslie exclaimed when the competition started but my attention is neither on her or the event. It's on the three guys who just entered the auditorium and stayed on the side of the door near me.
"Paano 'yan? Kalkulado ko lahat 'yan! Ginawan ko pa ng report kaya paanong nagkulang ang pera?!" the guy who's wearing Business Ad. uniform exclaimed. The other guys aren't wearing the same uniform, so I assumed they are from other department. They keep looking at the stage.
I looked away when I saw the other guy glanced at me. I pay attention to the participants in front but I can't just force my ears to not hear them.
"Magagalit na naman si Pangulo n'yan," a voice of another guy.
If my intuition is correct, I think these guys are part of an organization or maybe the council and they're having some problems about the event. Financial problem, I guess. I felt their worries.
"May pera pa ba kayo? Paluwalan kaya muna natin?" Eyes on the stage, I let myself eavesdrop on their conversation and watch them on my peripheral view.
"Sapat-sapat lang ang akin, p're. Matinding pamasahe na nga ang nagastos ko kahapon dahil pabalik-balik ako sa pagawaan ng medal at trophy."
"May pera ako sa ATM card ko kaso pambayad sa renta 'yon, e. Baka hindi maibalik agad. Bukas o sa makalawa ko pa naman ipambabayad 'yon." One last look on the stage, they started walking out of this place.
I finally look at them. Although I only saw their back, it's obvious that they are worrying on something for they walk like they got the world on their shoulders. The light from outside the door is getting thinner and thinner as it closes slowly after they passed through it. I can't stand it.
"Les," I called my friend beside me. Hindi ako mapakali.
"Oh?" She turned her head to me but didn't look at me. She can't get her eyes off the competition.
"If somebody finds me or if we'll have to sign for attendance for this event, say that I just help someone outside." The excitement on her face went gone and it followed by furrowing of her brows.
"Hala, bakit? Sino?" she asked in confusion.
"Basta. I'll be back." I stood up. "Thank you!" I bent down on her to do a cheeks-to-cheeks with her and I'm out.
I am really concern to those three guys because I know what they're going through. And I know I can help.
Lakad-takbo na ang ginagawa ko pero hindi ko sila mahanap sa bawat dinadaanan ko.
"Hello?" I knocked on the door. "Anyone inside?" I knocked again.
I tried searching for them in the council office but nobody's there. I even asked some utility men where the hell is that place for Pete's sake! Hindi ko naman kasi akalain na kakailanganin ko palang alamin ang lugar na 'yon. I didn't really care about that. But as I said, wala sila roon. Such a waste of time and effort.
"Where... Nasaan na 'yon," I murmured impatiently. I'm a little sweaty because of this. Damn.
I headed to the gates of hell. Yes, this university. Tss, kidding. Nothing serious, just releasing this poor patience in me.
I get my phone when I felt it vibrated.
"Yes?" I answered and didn't bother to look who's calling. Still walking, half-running.
It's Leslie and she said that she's trying to call me for about 10 minutes. And that James was asking her where I am.
Me? As in... me?
"There you are," I muttered when I saw the ones I’m finding, forgetting about the phone call already.
I automatically run after them because I'm facing their back, they're walking on the pavement. Impatiently looking right then and there, they're probably waiting for a jeepney.
"Hey!" I called, still few steps away to reach them.
They all looked at me and the surprise can be seen in their eyes. I composed myself and cleared my throat.
"Just be yourself, Buenavidez. They won't judge you. You're just going to help. It’s good intention, alright?" I whispered to myself.
"Nagmamadali kami, Miss. May kailangan ka ba?"
"I heard you talking inside the auditorium," I started. "I know it's bad to eavesdrop but I think I can help you." There you said it, Meriah. How nice of you.
Nagtinginan sila sa isa't isa.
"Paano?" one of them asked.
"Give me a minute," I asked, already typing a message for Kuya Lando to come and pick me up. "So, where are we?" I asked after.
"Paano mo kami matutulungan?"
"Explain everything that needs to be done," I said, feeling determined to resolve it. And now the looks they're giving me is hopeful. Very hopeful, if I must say.
I need this. It's my chance and I need them to trust me. I can do something about it. I know I can and it will succeed. I need to change the way they see me. It's now or never.