I'm sorry, I could NOT RESIST making that the title.
//Two months later//
"I'm trusting you not to spill anything, Selina," Bruce stated as he taped a streamer to the wall.
Selina tied the end of the ballon that she had just blown air into. "Yeah, yeah, calm your tits. I want him just as surprised as you do."
Bruce didn't reply until a few minutes of getting the party decorations wall later. "I still don't know what to get him."
Selina snorted. "You're still worrying about that?"
Bruce sighed. "Of course I am. This is his first birthday spent with us. It needs to be special. It needs to be perfect."
Selina glanced at him hesitantly. "Yeah, I agree... Never thought I'd spend my time making a surprise birthday party for a nine-year-old, but here I am," she admitted with a small smirk.
She noticed Bruce's distant gaze as he continued to make preparations. She knew that look, it was the look he wore when he was lost in thought. "Listen, Bruce. Dick... he's a sentimental kid. You know as well as I that getting him something expensive won't mean as much to him as something that comes from...'the heart' as he would say. Ugh, barf, so cheesy."
Bruce cracked a smile and chuckled, finally taking his eyes off the party decorations and looking into Selina's eyes. "That was cheesy enough to sound like Dick."
"Right?" Selina agreed with an amused grin. They stared at each other in silence for a bit before proceeding on their task.
"Don't you have, like, people for this type of stuff?" Selina asked, slightly annoyed.
Bruce turned to her. "People?"
"Yeah," Selina said, "people. I dunno where you rich families and gangs get them from, but just people that you pay to do your work. You've got money. Why the hell are we doing this ourselves?"
"This is going to be a small celebration. I don't want to attract too much attention by calling for 'people' - as you call them- and then having to shoo the paparazzi away before the party even starts. That'd be a big clue to Dick, don't you think?" Bruce explained.
"Ah, the detective. Always thinking ahead, aren't you?" Selina noted.
"Always," Bruce replied.
After another few minutes of silence, Bruce was beginning to believe that Selina would finally let him wallow in his thoughts, but he was mistaken.
"Ugh, damn." Selina muttered under her breath.
"What's the matter?" Bruce questioned, eyes still on what he was doing.
Selina leaned her back onto the table behind her and crossed her arms around her chest. "Dick would want him at his party."
Bruce, for the millionth time that day, turned his attention away from what he was doing to look at Selina. "Who's 'he'?"
Selina widened her eyes in irritation and gestured her hands sharply at him like he automatically should know. "Oswald!"
Bruce dropped what was in his hands onto the table in painful realization and turned his head back to stare the roof. "Ah, crap."
Selina threw herself on a nearby chair. "We have to, Bruce.
"Crap," he repeated.
"He's so damn annoying, I know. Trust me, I do." Selina groaned. "But Dick loves the guy. If he's not there at his birthday party, he'll notice, and it'll hurt. And you know what you said."
"It needs to be perfect," Bruce drawled. "Yeah, I know what I said. I'll allow him over- for the party only. It doesn't mean he can barge in whenever he wants. I don't want him knocking on the front door, expecting to be welcomed because Dick is there. There's just too many things wrong with.. that."
"Why are you telling me this? Tell him that," Selina hissed. "Gosh, you sound like one of those moms who rants to the manager about a petty problem that wasn't even the employee's fault, and now they've gotta listen to this cranky lady run her mouth off."
Bruce stared at her during a few moments of silence. "I have never encountered a situation like that..."
"Consider yourself lucky then," Selina said, "you don't want to be behind one of them in line to a grocery store or fast food restaurant. Happened to me earlier today. Rich people benefits, I guess."
The billionaire furrowed his brows. He felt like what she said was supposed to be relatable, but he had no clue what she just complained about so he shrugged it off and changed the topic back to Oswald. "I tried to get Dick to forget about Penguin, but it didn't work."
Selina rested her elbow against the table in front of her. "Well of course not. Didn't Dick visit the club the other day? What was that all about?"
Bruce sighed again. "Dick drew a picture of a penguin the other day and wanted to give it to Oswald."
Selina's jaw dropped. "And.. you said yes?" He nodded shamefully. "Oh my gosh, Bruce!" Her surprise turned into laughter. She pounded her fist on the table as she wheezed. "I can not believe you!"
Bruce rolled his eyes, embarrassed. "If he looked at you with the puppy dog eyes that he looked at me with, you wouldn't be able to say no either, okay? So stop laughing." He playfully pushed her shoulder.
Selina looked up and pretended to think about it. "Hmm.. well.. you might be right, but.. I'm more of a cat person so puppy dog eyes-? Nope, can't faze me."
"Liar," Bruce accused with a smirk. "You're just as weak for the boy and you know it."
Selina raised an eyebrow. "Wow, you figured me out, O wise one. Want a cookie?"
Before Bruce could respond, Alfred walked into the room with a tray in his hands. "I believe I was summoned?"
Selina and Bruce glanced at each other before quickly snatching a cookie and biting into it in sync in an oddly competitive manner.
- - - - - - - - -
Dick glanced up for a second before quickly looking back down to the paper on his desk. He took the chance again while she wasn't looking; his eyes flickered up and he took in her appearance. She had long blonde hair that was tied in a tight pony tail. She was tall, lean, and just cool.
He was jealous. She fit in so well and so easily. And now she was stealing Barbara away from him!
His eyes flew back to his classwork as she walked back to the door that she had entered from.
"Thank you, Artemis, for the copies. Tell Mr. Peabody that I say thanks as well," Ms. Wendy said kindly.
The students around him giggled. Peabody, what a weird name, right? Dick didn't care, though. His attention was glued to Artemis until she left.
"Sure thing, Ma'am," Artemis assured with a smile and walked out.
"What a nice, girl. I hope you guys learn a thing or two from her," Ms. Wendy announced.
Of course the teachers loved her. She was in three clubs, had straight A's, and constantly volunteered to send papers from one class to another. It was crazy! It was like she devoted her life to school or something. And she had only been at school for a week!
"So what are you gonna do, man?" Dieter whispered.
Dick shrugged. "I can't really do anything, all I can do is watch."
"If you keep this up, Dick, you're gonna lose your girl!" Rebecca warned.
Dick's face became red. "She's not my girl, Rebecca! She's just a friend. Anyways I'm too young to date! And she's like three years older than me!"
"Two," Shelly corrected, "Did you already forget, birthday boy?"
Dick smiled shyly. "Oh, right... hehe."
A lot had changed in the past two months. After Dick had gone back to school, he got closer to Barbara, and they became buddies. The peers at his group table became his best friends, and they hung out a lot, but it was different with Barbara. He just didn't know what.
The group always teased him, saying that he liked her- or that she was his girlfriend! It drove him insane! They were just friends!
Meanwhile, Dick was starting to suspect that Selina and Bruce were more than just friends. Selina visited more often and always acted casually around Bruce. Dick didn't know if he shipped her more with Batman or with Bruce.
Oh yes, you read that right. He did say ship. Well, thought, not said. Same difference.
Dick had gotten the phone numbers of all his closest friends and texted them. From this, he learned slangs of all kinds.
There were a few embarrassing moments when he had first learned of text slang.
"-and then he just started running away!" Barbara exclaimed with a big grin on her face after telling the funny story.
Dick began cracking up. Through his fits of laughter he uttered the three letters, "L.O.L."
Barbara's happy face morph into one of disturbance and discomfort. To make a long story short, she acted strangely around him until a friend of hers explained why to him.
Another time Dick had made a similar mistake was when he was talking to his teacher.
"Dick, could you please pass me that dry erase marker over there?" Ms. Wendy asked since the marker in her hand had dried out.
"'Kay 'Kay," is what Dick responded with.
The teacher raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on it.
After class, she called for him to stay.
"OMG, am I in trouble?" Dick worriedly questioned.
His voice and facial expression was genuine but the "omg" threw the poor teacher off. "No, no, not at all. I've just noticed that you seem very happy with your group members. You've become close with them, haven't you?"
Dick smiled. "Yeah, I have. They're my BFFLs."
The lady knitted her brows. What the everloving f-
Suddenly a phone rang. Dick looked at the teacher with his eyes the size of saucers. "I'm so sorry! Um, I should probably get that! I'll BRB."
Before Ms. Wendy could even open her mouth to speak, Dick had run out of the classroom to answer the phone. Afterward, he returned. The teacher awkwardly informed Dick that she didn't speak the 'teen language'.
Dick wasn't even a teenager!
Those weren't the only times Dick had embarrassed himself by using what he'd learned in school. You see, a classmate of his decided to introduce him to the concept of the 'ur mom' and 'no u' retorts.
Bruce was listening to Dick explain to plot of his book. "Mmh, I see. But if not Mr. Popper, then who?"
Dick tried to hide his smile. "Your mom."
He expected to hear Bruce laugh, he instead he was met with a stern frown and surprise. "Excuse me?"
The boy titled his head to the side. "I said.. your mom..?" Why wasn't he laughing?
Bruce appeared offended by the statement. "I would appreciate it if you'd stop."
Dick knew just what to say to cheer Bruce up! "No, you."
After explaining to Bruce what the joke was supposed to be, he had gotten a lecture as to why he shouldn't repeat everything he heard from others. Alfred was amused to say the least.
Dick wanted groan right there and then. So embarrassing! Why hadn't anyone warned him not to say that stuff aloud?!
"So what are you gonna do for birthday, Dick?" Rebecca asked, thankfully bringing the pink-cheeked boy out of his thoughts.
"Umm... I don't know actually," Dick confessed.
"WHAT?" They all shouted.
"Shh!" Ms. Wendy hushed, "focus on your work!"
The students picked up their pencils and worked until the noise in the class rose back up, high enough to mask their own voices.
"Dude, what do you mean you don't what you're gonna do for your birthday?" Dieter asked incredulously. "You're not gonna celebrate?"
"Nine is pretty special," Shelly added. "It's the last number before the big double digits."
Dick bit his lip uncomfortably. Had Bruce and Selina forgotten? And... why was he.. glad?
"Haha, well, I'm sure I'll figure out something," Dick assured with a fake smile that everyone could see through. They didn't investigate further, though, and decided to respect his choice to not tell them anything.
What's Artemis doing at Dick's school? Just a coincidence, I guess...
Or is it?
Here's some reactions to Dick's cringeworthy moments:
Basically Barbara when Dick said LOL aloud:
Bruce when Dick decided to have to guts to talk about his mama:
Haha, this chapter was so much fun to write. Hope you guys enjoyed it! I just wanted to show the new relationships that have been made within the time skip in fun, lighthearted way. I got some intense second hand embarrassment from writing those acronym scenes-
Btw before anyone gets the wrong idea, I do ship DickBabs romantically, but I also ship them as siblings. And in this story, I want them to have an almost sibling-like relationship. (Especially since they're KIDS!) Anything hinting otherwise is just teasing from his friends.
Now,
Important question.
Im sure you guys can already guess that Dick will end up becoming Robin one way or another (if not... uh, oops). I'm just asking so I can plan ahead on something, and I really didn't want to ask so early, but I didn't wanna wait until the last second and forget, so...
- Should Robin's suit be the shorts with pixie boots one or the long pants one?
I'm sorta rooting for the pixie boots because, cmon, that's adorable, but I know that's awkward for some people, so I'll let you guys choose. I don't mind which option ends up as the final decision, so don't let the previous sentence influence your choice!