Nightflyer: So, Air's in a calm environment now.
Joy: Calm how?
Nightflyer: Think of a room stuffed full of super soft blankets and pillows that plays nothing but soft, calming music and feel good, happy movies. You also get a puppy upon entering, and desserts are delivered regularly, along with tissues for when you remember why you're there and start crying.
Seashell: I......I need this room.
Rainkeeper: Me too.
*players appear*
Kelp: So it's ABOUT TIME we did this dare!
Joy: Apologizes for the wait.
Winter: What is it?
Rainkeeper: YOU ALL HAVE TO LIST YOUR FAVORITE STAR WARS CHARACTERS!
Starflight: YES!
Rainkeeper: HELL YEAH! *high fives Starflight*
Kelp: Clay, you start.
Clay: I like the Ewoks. They're like little teddy bears.
Peril: Darth Maul.
Riptide: Han Solo
Deathbringer: No way Han Solo's MY favorite!
Rainkeeper: Let's just agree that Han Solo is awesome.
Riptide: Done.
Tsunami: Rey.
Glory: Leia.
Starflight: Obi-wan.
Fatespeaker: Maz Kanata.
Sunny: BB-8
Umber: POE DAMERON.
Carnelian: Darth Vader.
Turtle: Mace Windu
Kinkajou: Chirrut Îmwe, I'm one with the force, the force is with me.
Turtle: I'm one with the force, the force is with me.
Kinkajou: I'monewiththeforcetheforceiswithme.
Turtle: I'MONEWITHTHEFORCETHEFORCEISWITHME
Qibli: Dude. YODA.
Moon: Jyn Erso.
Winter: Count Dooku
Seashell: Great, only one overlap.
Joy: Deathbringer, pick someone else.
Deathbringer: Chewbacca.
Nightflyer: Wonderful.
Rainkeeper: All great choices.
Joy: And now for the catch.
Starflight: Wait what-
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*All players shrink to the size of a bear*
Kelp: You have to fight the character you picked.
All: *screeches in rage*
Glory: MAKE ME BIG AGAIN, I HATE YOU.
Winter: I HATE BEING SMALL!
Deathbringer: Is that-
Glory: *clamps talon over Deathbringer's snout*
Glory: CHILDREN READ THESE, DEATHY.
Deathbringer: Still? I thought we made it obvious that they shouldn't.
Nightflyer: Mature ratings only go so far.
Joy: True.
Rainkeeper: Now, FIGHT TIME.
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*Everyone appears in Gladiator arena*
Nightflyer: Now, a word to the wise everyone. DON'T GO ON ANY BRIDGES.
Riptide: Wait, why-
Rainkeeper: Pretty much everyone in Star Wars who has gone on a bridge has either died or lost a hand.
Kelp: True,
Nightflyer: So just STAY OFF THE BRIDGES!
Qibli: Got it.
Joy: And with that, LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*Everyone's opponents appear*
Darth Maul: *unleashes lightsaber*
Peril: Welp, time to see if these things can kill me.
Clay: EWOKS!!!!
Ewok: *hisses*
Clay: *hugs them*
Tsunami: Sorry Rey. You gotta go. *cracks knuckles*
Rey: *cracks Tsunami in the skull with a stick*
Tsunami: OW!!! BITCH!
Riptide: *being chased by Han Solo with a blaster*
Riptide: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Kelp:Riptide, you have to fight him!
Riptide: With WHAT? I HAVE NO DEFENSES AGAINST THE GREAT HAN SOLO!
Nightflyer: Cause I'm Kevin Freaking Solo.
Rainkeeper: Who?
Nightflyer:....Sorry, Air's usually the one who makes the Supernatural references. I felt the need to fill the gap....
Rainkeeper: Oh, okay.
Glory: *sighs*
Glory: I don't want to do this.
Glory: It's such an insult. Both to Princess Leia, and late great Carrie Fisher.
Glory: But I'm not going to get my ass beaten by some wannabe Jedi, so she's gotta go.
Glory: *unleashes magical death spit*
Rainkeeper: My mother just insulted Princess Leia.
Joy: Are you sad or proud?
Rainkeeper:........Both.
Deathbringer: Yeah Glory! Kick her ass!
Chewbacca: *roars*
Deathbringer: Oops.
Chewbacca: *raises crossbow*
Deathbringer: Look buddy, I'm good friends with Han! We're all pals here, right?
Chewbacca: *fires crossbow*
Deathbringer: *snatches the arrow*
Deathbringer: Well now you've just pissed me off.
Starflight: *running away in terror*
Starflight: WHY DID I PICK OBI-WAN, WHY DID I PICK OBI-WAN!?!?!?!?
Obi-wan: *raises lightsaber*
Fatespeaker: *chatting and swapping gossip with Maz Kanata while their boyfriend's get slaughtered*
Sunny: *kicks BB-8 like a soccer ball*
Sunny: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay-
BB-8: *zaps her with a laser*
Sunny: OW! You little-
Carnelian: *is in an epic lightsaber battle with Darth Vader*
Umber: Oh, just kill me. You're too cute to die.
Poe:......Okay.
Umber: Wait, no-
Turtle: *force battling Mace Windu*
Moon: *has been annihilated by Jyn Erso*
Winter: *fighting Count Dooku*
Kinkajou: *walking through the battlefield unharmed with Chirrut Îmwe*
Chirrut Îmwe: I'm one with the force, the force is with me.
Kinkajou: I'm one with the force, the force is with me.
Kinkajou/Chirrut Îmwe: *keep chanting*
Qibli: *screaming and running circles*
Yoda: *perched on Qibli's head with his lightsaber, waiting*
Hosts: *sit back with popcorn and watch the battle unfold*
Seashell: I still haven't seen Solo yet.
Nightflyer: And I still haven't seen Crimes of Grindlewald. Life is unfair.
Rainkeeper: I still haven't seen the second Guardians of the Galaxy.
Joy: I have seen NO Avengers movies.
Kelp: Psst, forget that. Have you seen the new Stranger Things trailer?
Joy: HELL YEAH.
Seashell: See, that's what's important.
*Qibli's head randomly lands in the stands*
Hosts:...........
Joy: Remind me to recruit Yoda for the Squad.