Air: *flips table*
Nightflyer: What-
Air: *punches a wall*
Nightflyer: Why-
Air: *grabs Kelp and violently shakes him*
Joy: Let him go please!
Air: *shoves Kelp away*
Air: FUCK. YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nightflyer:....Everything okay?
Air: FREAKING FLIPPING FUCK YEAH IT IS!!!!!!!! I HAVE A NEW GRAVE TO DANCE ON!!! JACK! IS! THE! FUCKING! BEST!!!!!
Air: *screams*
Rainkeeper:......Sooooo supernatural had a new episode...?
Air: ANDDESTIELWENTTOACOFFEESHOPANDITWASREALLYCUTEOHMYCHUCKIMFREAKINGOUT!!!!
Nightflyer: I would say calm down, but that ain't gonna happen.
Air: HELL NO IT AIN'T!
*players appear*
Air: OH MY MOONS, OH MY MOONS, OH MY MOONS.
Nightflyer: Air, how about you do some laps until you calm down.
Air: OKAY! *starts sprinting around the room*
Players:.........
Moon: Okay, so Air's normal, what about the rest of you?
Joy: We good.
Seashell: We Gucci.
Joy: Get out.
Seashell: *leaves*
Kelp: Sooooooo ship time.
Rainkeeper: Adventure time?
Air: HUNTING TIME, C'MON GRAB YOUR SALT!
Rainkeeper: SIMPSONS TIME! RUN, DON'T WALK. YOU MIGHT EVEN HEAR MAGGIE TALK.
Rainkeeper: With Bart the boy and a dog named Homer, and jokes written on signs, it's Simpsons Time!
Joy: Except that it's not Simpsons Time.
Rainkeeper: Awwww
Joy: It's GAY SHIP TIME!
Umber: I was summoned?
Carnelian: Why do you assume every gay thing has to do with you?
Umber: Because it does.
Carnelian: NO, it doesn't. When Qibli and Winter got married, that had nothing to do with you.
Umber: Yeah, but I'm the one who made them rainbow wedding rings.
Winter: He did.
Qibli: I still have mine. They're beautiful.
Moon: He gave them to me and Kinkajou when we were forced to get married too.
Kinkajou: It blends right in with my scales.
Carnelian:........
Umber: BOOM.
Turtle: What gay ship is it this time?
Seashell: OH! I PREPARED A PARODY SONG FOR IT!
Joy: Oh dear moons.
Kelp: Let's here it.
Seashell: Just start singing Thunder by Imagine Dragons.
Hosts:........
Rainkeeper: DONE.
Joy: Just a young gun with a quick fuse
Rainkeeper: I was uptight, wanna let loose
Kelp: I was dreaming of bigger things, And wanna leave my own life behind
Air: Not a yes sir, not a follower
Nightflyer: Fit the box, fit the mold
Joy: Have a seat in the foyer, take a number
Kelp: I was lightning before the-
Seashell: FLUMBER.
Seashell: Flumber, Flumber.
Seashell: Flu-flu-Flumber
Seashell: Flumber, feel the flumber.
Seashell: Moonbli and the flumber, Flumber
Umber: Please stop.
Seashell:....Okay....
Joy: We need Flame and Umber to do seven minutes in heaven.
Umber: HELL YEAH!
Kinkajou: What about the rest of us?
Rainkeeper: Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
Nightflyer: *dumps down a huge stack of papers*
Seashell: You'll all be getting divorced.
Players: WHAT?!!!??
Kinkajou: NO!
Qibli: HELL NO, I LIKE BEING MARRIED TO WINTER!
Moon: What about me?
Qibli: Yeah, you're cool too!
Moon:.....Wow.
Turtle: *clings to Kinkajou* NEVER! YOU CAN'T BREAK US APART!
Winter: *grabs a pen* Where do I sign?
Qibli: *smacks the pen away*
Qibli: NO!
Winter: IT'S MY CHOICE!
Umber: Are you guys gonna summon my lover or what?
Seashell: *snaps talons*
*Flame appears*
Umber: Hey there, sweet thang.
Flame: Umber.
Umber: Wanna go make out?
Flame: Ew, no.
Carnelian: Ugh, YOU KNOW YOU DO, SO JUST GO.
Flame:.....Okay, maybe.
Umber: *waggles eyebrows*
Flame: Okay yes.
Umber: *drags him into the closet*
Joy: Okay, divorce time.
Nightflyer: Sign here, sign here, kiss me here, initial there.
Air: What?
Nightflyer: Cookie Kwan! Realtor. Number one on the West side.
Moon: Ugh, fine, I'll divorce the boys and let them be happily married to each other.
Qibli: THANK YOU.
Moon: *signs papers*
Qibli: *shoves Moon out of the way and divorces her*
Joy: And just like that, Moonbli's divorced.
Air: Nooooooooo
Kinkajou: *signs papers*
Kinkajou: Moon, here. I didn't like being a Morrowseer anyways.
Moon: I don't think that's the right word-
Kinkajou: Yes it is, now sign the papers.
Moon: *divorces Kinkajou*
Winter: *reading papers*
Winter: HOLD THE PHONE. This says Moon and Qibli each get 50% of my stuff!
Nightflyer: That's right.
Winter: BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Seashell: Then you shouldn't have sign the marriage papers.
Winter: I DIDN'T WANT TO! THERE WAS A TRIBE OF ICEWINGS FORCING ME TOO!
Kelp: Wait what?
Air: *shrugs* Not our problem.
Winter: But this leaves me with nothing!
Qibli: Not true. You get 50% of my stuff.
Moon: And a third of mine.
Qibli:.......How about we all just keep our own stuff and call it fair?
Winter: Hell no, I'm taking your camel skin blanket, I love it.
Qibli: But-
Moon: I want your earring, Qibli. Now.
Qibli: Why are you both so mean..... *hands over earring*
Kinkajou: So Moon, I'm entitled to a third of your stuff, right?
Moon: Yeah.
Kinkajou: I want Qibli's earring.
Qibli: BUT-
Moon: Dammit! *hands it over*
Kinkajou: Happy hatching day, Qibli *gives him back the earring*
Qibli: THANK YOU.
Winter: *signs divorce papers*
Seashell: Okay, Turtle, your turn. Sign here, and then we'll get Kinkajou to sign, and you'll be divorced.
Turtle:........No.
Kinkajou: Turtle-
Turtle: *sits down, crosses arms*
Turtle: NO.
Joy: Turtle,
Turtle: I MARRIED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IN A BEAUTIFUL HOLY WATER POOL, AND I LOVE HER, AND I WILL NOT DIVORCE HER, FOR YOUR STUPID GAME OR OTHERWISE.
Kinkajou: Awwwww
Qibli: AGREED! Winter! We're staying married!
Winter: But I signed the papers already....
Qibli: I didn't, so it's not binding.
Winter: *clicks pen*
*pen turns into sword*
Winter: You better sign those freaking papers.
Qibli: I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me.
Winter: Are you sure about that?
*seven minutes later*
Umber: *struts out of closet*
Umber: Hey guys-
Moon: *rolling in divorce papers*
Air/Seashell/Nightflyer/Rainkeeper: *trying to drag Turtle off the ground and get him to sing the papers*
Turtle: *screaming and refusing to move*
Qibli: *is on fire and running around yelling*
Carnelian: *quietly cackling a corner and sharpening pool cues*
Joy: *forcefully making Kinkajou sign the papers*
Kinkajou: *bawling her eyes out*
Winter: *chasing after Qibli with a sword*
Kelp: *doodling amongst the chaos*
Kelp: Oh hi!
Umber:.....Seven minutes. I left for SEVEN. MINUTES.
Flame: Why the hell is he so calm about this?!?!?!
Kelp: I date Joy. Stuff like this is my usual Friday night.
Kelp: *keeps doodling*
Rainkeeper: *gives up*
Rainkeeper: ALRIGHT. FINE! TURTLEJOU STAYS MARRIED!
Turtle: YES!
Kinkajou: *stops crying*
Joy: You're kidding, right?
Rainkeeper: NO. LET'S GO HOME.
Qibli: *lights divorce papers on fire*
Winter: *puts out the fire*
Winter: I'm not going anywhere until I am no longer married to Qibli.
Qibli: Alright, alright. FINE. *grabs a pen and writes on the papers*
Qibli: There. Done.
Winter: *snatches the papers and looks at Qibli's signature, which reads Screw You, Honey*
Winter: QIBLI!
Qibli: *has run away*
Winter: QIBLI!!!! *chases after him*
Joy: So, Umber, Carnelian. Ever wanna get married?
Carnelian: Hell no.
Umber: Only if it's an open relationship. I like keeping my options open.
Joy: Got it.
Seashell: Soooooo, the wedding's next week, right?
Joy: Yep.
Umber:.......
Carnelian:........
Carnelian: Crap.