Air:......*clicks on radio*
*Faithfully by Journey starts playing*
Air: *waves lighter*
Rainkeeper: OH moons. THE FINCHEL- WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!!?
Air: Ssssssssh, just let it happen.
Rainkeeper: *crying* FINCHEL!!!!!
Nightflyer: WoooooooOOOOOOoo0000000ooooooooo
Joy: FAITHFULLY!!!!
Seashell: I'm STILL YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUNG!!!!!
Rainkeeper: I FREAKING HATE YOU ALL RIGHT NOW, HOW DARE YOU.
*players appear*
Nightflyer: Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev, Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc, Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron, Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock"
Seashell: ooooo, Billy Joel!
Nightflyer: Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis-
Air: You shut your bitch mouth RIGHT NOW.
Nightflyer:.......*stops singing*
Winter: The 80's station is on again, isn't it?
Hosts:.......
Joy: Maybe.
Glory: What's the dare- and don't you dare start singing-
Hosts:..............
Rainkeeper: BRASS MONKEY,
Joy: THAT FUNKY MONKEY,
Rainkeeper/Joy: BRASS MONKEY JUNKIE, THAT FUNKY MONKEY!
Deathbringer: I have officially lost faith in our children.
Glory: Agreed.
Nightflyer: ANYWAYS, TODAY WE GET TO GO TO HOGWARTS!!!!!
Sunny: Hog-what now?
Moon: *gasps* REALLY?!?!!?
Nightflyer: AND YOU HAVE TO GET SORTED INTO YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSES!!!!!
Seashell: *snaps talons*
All: *appears in the Hogwarts Great Hall*
Nightflyer: *squeals*
Air: Awww, little Nightflyer and his wizard obsession.
Nightflyer: Did you know there's a theory that Rowena from Supernatural founded Ravenclaw because the house was formed by ROWENA Ravenclaw????
Air: HOLY CRAP NO WAY OH MY MOONS!!!!
Air/Nightflyer: *freaking out*
Seashell: Why are we friends with these people again?
Rainkeeper: Because Air's awesome.
Joy: Because Nightflyer's awesome.
Seashell:.........
Nightflyer: HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS, TEACH US SOMETHING PLEASE!!!!
Seashell:......Totally awesome.
Tsunami: Sooooo, can someone explain what the heck we're actually doing?
Rainkeeper: This is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In it, you get sorted into one of four houses.
Joy: There's Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and *looks at smudged writing on hand*..... Jigglypuff.
Nightflyer: HUFFLEPUFF.
Peril: What the HELL is a Hufflepuff?
Nightflyer:..........Peril, I now promote you to my favorite player ever.
Moon: Hey!
Starflight: Dude!
Fatespeaker: Should've seen that coming.
Air: The different Hogwarts Houses value different things, so you get sorted based on your personality traits.
Nightflyer: Hufflepuffs are patient, loyal, and just. Ravenclaws are intelligent and creative. Slytherins are ambitious and cunning. Gryffindors are brave and have chivalry.
Joy: Slytherins also have the bad reputation of being evil.
Nightflyer: Which they're NOT. IT's just that most evil people happen to come from Slytherin. But the worst people don't come from there.
Glory: Like who?
Nightflyer: *growls* Wormtail, the bastard.
Seashell: ANYWAYS, to get sorted into your house, you have to wear the Sorting Hat.
Air: *holds up the hat*
Nightflyer: *sings angelic music*
Players:.........
Carnelian: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard- and I've heard Qibli speak.
Clay: Do we get food?
Nightflyer: After everyone is sorted, there's always a giant feast, sooooo yeah.
Clay: I'm in. Let's go!
Rainkeeper: *puts the Sorting Hat on Clay's head*
Sorting Hat: Hmmmmmm, NOT Ravenclaw.
Clay: Well no duh.
Sorting Hat: You seem to like your food. It's probably best to put your near the kitchens.
Clay: I like the sound of that.
Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!
Clay: Cool.....What does that mean?
Nightflyer: It means you live near the kitchens, have access to a lot of plants and food, are a total cinnamon roll, everyone loves you and yet you're totally underrated because we all know Hufflepuff secretly throws the best parties and is running a drug cartel in their House.
Clay:....Awesome!
Joy: Who's next?
Rainkeeper: *puts Sorting Hat on Starflight*
Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!
Starflight: Ha! Take that!
Glory: *puts on the hat*
Sorting Hat: Oh, you're a tricky one.
Deathbringer: You can say that again.
Sorting Hat: In league with Ms. Granger and Mr. Lupin, you are..... I'd have to say.....
Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!
Glory: Eh, you're the hat.
Stargflight: WHAT? But I'm WAY smarter then Glory!
Glory: You just keep thinking that, buddy.
Starflight: BUT-
Glory: *pats him on the head*
Tsunami: *puts the hat on*
Sorting Hat: Brave, yet ambitious. Loyal, yet cunning. Hmmmmm.....
Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!
Tsunami: Ha! I got the best house, suckers!
Ritpide: *puts the hat on*
Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!
Riptide: Hello again, Tsu tsu.
Tsunami:......Nightflyer, I respect the hat.
Nightflyer: I have more respect for the Sorting Hat then I do for most of the characters in Harry Potter.
Joy: Seriously?
Nightflyer: THE HAT KNOWS ALL, JOY.
Deathbringer: *puts the hat on*
Sorting Hat: Interesting..... Loyal, cunning, chivalry, intelligence....
Deathbringer: Go on.
Glory: Really?
Sorting Hat: But a heaping pile of self loathing mixed with narcissism. Oh, that makes it easy.
Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!
Deathbringer:.....Wow.
Joy: So my parents are Ravenclaws and Slytherins. Good to know.
Nightflyer: Okay, so we're just gonna hover this over your head, because if the Sorting Hat burns, I'll murder you all.
Peril: Got it.
Sorting Hat:.........GRYFFINDOR!
Peril: Cool!
Tsunami: NOOOOOOOOO
Clay: Hey! Be nice, Tsunami!
Riptide: Sweet, we've got Peril!
Tsunami: EXCUSE ME?!?!?!
Riptide: Hey, you've got your friends, I've got mine.
Tsunami: *scowls*
Fatespeaker: *puts the hat on*
Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!
Clay: Yay, I have a friend!
Fatespeaker: Hufflepuff power!
Clay: *fist bumps Fatespeaker*
Winter: *puts on hat*
Sorting Hat: SLYTHIERIN! SLYTHERIN!
Winter: Well duh.
Deathbringer:.....I'm gonna kill you.
Winter: Let's go.
Moon: *puts the hat on*
Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!
Glory: Yes!
Starflight: Join us, little apprentice!
Moon: Hell yes!
Qibli: *puts hat on*
Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!
Qibli: Cool.
Peril: Yes! We get the best member of Qinterwatcher!
Qibli: I would so high five you if I could.
Peril: I know.
Turtle: *puts on hat*
Sorting Hat:......RAVENCLAW!
Turtle: Wait really?
Glory: Join us, Turtle!
Turtle: Okay.....
Kinkajou: *throws on hat*
Sorting Hat: Oh, you're difficult....Brave and ambitious, yet........Sunshiny.
Kinkajou: I get that a lot.
Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!
Kinkajou: YES!
Clay: Join us in the kitchens, Kinkajou!
Umber: *puts on hat*
Sorting Hat: Oh, hello Rainbow.
Umber: Greetings and Salutations.
Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!
Qibli: Oh, hello.
Nightflyer: *gasps*
Nightflyer: UMBLI IS THE NEW DEAMUS!!!!
Air: What? NOTHING CAN REPLACE DEAMUS!!!! DEAN AND SEAMUS!!!
Nightflyer: True, true..... But they're DRAGON DEAMUS!
Air: OMM YES.
Carnelian: *puts hat on*
Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!
Deathbringer: Join me.
Carnelian: Sup.
Sunny: *puts Hat on*
Tsunami: Oh this one is SO obvious.
Glory: No duh.
Clay: Hufflepuff, here you come!
Sorting Hat:......SLYTHERIN!
All: WHAT?!?!?!
Sunny: Eh, I can see it.
Deathbringer: But- wait-
Winter: HOW-
Carnelian: Nice one.
Starflight: There must be a mistake!
Nightflyer: How dare you? The Sorting Hat has made like, TWO mistakes in his entire life!
Starflight: But-
Sunny: Guys, I'm a Slytherin. DEAL.
Deathbringer:....Oh, we're gonna have fun.
Sunny: Hell yeah we are. *high fives Deathbringer*
Glory: Sunny, he's still MINE.
Sunny: Your boyfriend, yes. Bodyguard with benefits? YES. Future husband? Definitely. But he's my bestie.
Deathbringer: We should have a cop show.
Sunny: WE SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE A COP SHOW.
Nightflyer: Oh, I love Hogwarts.
Seashell: Pigfarts is better.
Nightflyer: HOW DARE YOU.