August 2003
Bayhollow, Ontario
I had been staying out past my curfew and drinking. When I was grounded I would sneak into the backyard and smoke or smoke out my window after dark. Before I left they sat me down for an important discussion.
"Things need to change, Ama." She paused to compose herself.
Dad rubbed her shoulder and made his usual dad face. It was evident he knew she could do this.
I could see the tears in her eyes and it choked me up. I hated making my parents upset. But every second I was with others, I had to be doing what they were doing. If told to do one thing, I would undoubtedly do the opposite. I no longer feared for my safety, I knew the worst that could happen was being sent to another foster home. I could not see what I had.
"We can't keep—" she sniffled and tears rained down upon her cheeks. "We can't keep doing this over and over, Ama." She wiped her face with a facial tissue and looked into my eyes.
"Something has got to change. You have this week of camp that starts tomorrow and we need to see some sort of change."
"Okay," I lied. I felt bad for being such a nuisance, when I got caught. Otherwise it was just another day, just another group of hooligans to pal around with.
However this time, with her tears and at least a mild wish to be better I knew it was time for a change. I needed to see things differently.