Dresden finally chased down Julie. She had taken off for the woods faster than before but this time, he wasn't so far behind that he had to phase to catch her. This time, he managed to stay on her tail with his own two legs. He's panting and he's sweating, getting a good work out from following her but he was right there - just inches away from grabbing her. He was more focused on her than anything else. He worried she'd trip and fall, she'd hurt herself all over again. His fear of that gave him enough power to catch her.
She had fallen, he noticed. She had scraped her leg but it wasn't bugging her at all. After all, she stood right back up and continued running like it was nothing. She was in the same state as he - panting and sweating - but she was broken.
He had her trapped against the tree, refusing to let her continue on any longer without an explanation. She caught his gaze, realization crawling over her face and then she melted. Her hand came up to cover her mouth, her eyes were already crying and she was terrified and grief stricken. He caught her in his arms before she could fall to the ground, carrying her down gently, and holding onto her as she cried against his chest. His heart ached. He wanted to hold her as tightly as possible, to soak up her tears and her pain, to take it all on his own. He wanted to make her smile and make her forget. He wanted to tear apart the bastard who broke her.
He sighed, feeling frustration and guilt - not able to do a damn thing to help his mate. He rubbed her arms, shoulders and back - anything to spread his warmth and to comfort her. He kissed her head and whispered sweet sayings - things he'd never thought he'd ever say. But he was desperate. He'd do anything to make her feel better.
After what felt like hours, he finally saw results. She breathed easier, her tears had slowly stopped and she was taking deep breathes, calming herself down. She pulled away from him and looked away, cuddling herself against the tree.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled, shame in her voice. "I'm so sorry." He shook his head, turning her face to look at him.
"You don't say that." He told her sternly, letting his frustration seep over her. "You tell me what the hell is wrong. No more secrets." She stared at him, her lip quivering, threatening to cry again.
She felt ashamed that she let this go on for so long that she brought her Alpha into it. He already had enough on his plate. He had a war that was threatening his family. He had a pack to take care of - had a family to look after. He had a mate who was nowhere near him and that would be enough to send anyone over the edge. She felt so ashamed that she cried in her Alpha's arms. She knew she had to tell him the truth. She owed him that much.
"I lost my wolf," She mumbled, her voice weak and shaky. He sighed, leaning on his knees to face her.
"I know that."
"But you don't know how." She argued, looking up at him with guilt. He sat quietly, giving her the softest of expressions and waited for her to continue. "I lost my wolf protecting my pack."
"Rose's pack?" She nodded and looked dazed, drifting off into memory. He lifted her chin, reminding her to continue. He could only imagine what she meant. Did another wolf do this to her? Did she nearly die?
"Our pack was going through war with someone who was known to raise chaos. They were a pack enitrely of rogues - Alpha rogues. They grew by killing others, playing with their victims." She explained, her hands gripping her shirt. Dresden suddenly realized just how much fear she was holding back today. He could only imagine what she had felt like walking through the campus knowing the packs were on the brink of war, remembering what it felt like. His guilt threatened to reach its limit. "Our pack was the next victim."
She paused, biting her lip as she thought back. He knew exactly what she was talking about. It was nearly a year ago when a pack of Alpha rogues were attacking packs, way beyond his borders. He and Ollie were too distracted with an argument to even wonder about the packs being affected. But he knew it was bad. It was nearly as bad as what he used to do. The fact that Julie was affected terrified and enraged him all at once.
"What happened?" He egged her on, his voice coming out harsher than he meant. She didn't seem affected by that nearly as much as her own memories.
"I was nearly an Alpha but I left my sister as Alpha. It was her pack and her right and I didn't want the responsibility. But even then, with her as our Alpha, I knew we wouldn't make it. So I did the only thing I could do - the only thing a werewolf shouldn't do." She stared up at him, telling him an unspoken truth and he thought hard about what it could be.
"You didn't," He whispered once he realized. She started to whimper, nodding her head and admitting her sin. "You made a deal with a witch? Julie! Why?"
"I had to." She cried, her tears coming back to haunt him once more. "It was the only thing I could do to protect my family."
Dresden watched her sob silently to herself, a huge force knocking the air out of his lungs. Thoughts about her sin crossed his mind in different patterns. He was stuck at a crossroads trying to make sense of it all.
Of all of the supernatural beings, witches were not to be messed with. Vampires, who stayed mostly in Europe, were one thing. They were the natural enemies of Were and avoided the Americas completely. Witches, however, roamed free and were the enemy of both Were and Vamps. They hated the supernatural beasts that could harm and kill as they pleased, beasts that didn't care about innocent life. Witches were known to destroy them, creating hunters and giving power to people like Van Helsingr. They made Weres and Vamps out to be the enemies of mortals, to be cruel beings that needed to kill to survive or couldn't control the blood thirsty beast inside around the time of the Moons. For a Were to make a deal with a witch was to sign life away. To be killed as a sacrifice.
Dresden watched his mate cry, her face burried into the palm of her hands. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and what he was seeing. When she first appeared to him, she was weak. She was so weak, she infuriated him. How could his mate be so weak? How could she be so sick? But now he knew. He knew what she went through, what she did. He knew what she chose to do. She had to sacrifice everything - her life - just to protect her own family. He's never felt so wrong in his life. She was strong - stronger than he'll ever be. It made him think, if he had to chose, would he be able to sacrifice making a deal with a witch? Could he be that strong?
Dresden pulled her forward, allowing her to cry once more in his arms. He held her tightly, wanting to take all of her pain, all of her fear and replace it with his strength, his warmth and his protection. He wanted to apologize profusely for every negative thought or sentence he's said about her. He wanted to apologize for scaring her, cursing her, for thinking she was weak and for not realizing just how much she's hold back to be strong. She was the strongest Were he knew.
"I'm sorry, I keep crying." She whispered, pulling away and wiping her face. He shook his head.
"No, you have every right to." He argued, wiping a tear from her face gently. She stared up at him, a look of relief and worry crossing over her features. "What was the deal the made?"
"I was lucky." She admitted, giving him a small smile. "The witch I made a deal with is named Miranda. She said she wouldn't take my life away because she saw purity in my existence. She said because I'd be willing to risk so much for my family and because my wolf wasn't a beast, she'd only take away the beast and leave me to walk alone. She said if I was willing to risk what I considered the best part of me, she would let me keep my life and give me the ability to protect everyone."
"So your family won the war?" He asked, wanting to avoid the topic of Miranda entirely. To kill a Were for making a deal was one thing - that was to be expected. But to take the wolf and leave the Were broken and weak, alone to deal with the punishments of making a deal with a witch? That was beyond cruelty. It set him overboard and if he didn't want to risk his wolf going on another angry hunt, scaring his mate, he needed to focus on Julie alone.
"I was given the ability to kill the main Alpha - the Alpha of Alphas." She explained, biting her lip. "Because I killed him, the other Alphas were out of order and began to fight each other off. Their disorder gave us the chance to win. When everything was done, I couldn't phase anymore. I couldn't feel my wolf."
It was hard for Dresden to imagine Julie killing anyone. He could see that the deed alone had scarred her but she held no regret for it. It just made him admire her more. He didn't deserve his mate. "What did your family do to you?"
"My sister was furious," She wiped the last of her tears and sniffled. "She hated the fact that I went behind her back and did it without telling her. Still, she couldn't ignore the rule and the danger I brought to the pack. She had to move her territory and I was left on my own. She regrets it to this day." He knew she got lucky. Dealings with witches were a sin to Weres. When one dares to mingle with them, they were left behind to be a rogue and survive on their own. They would be considered an enemy thereafter. But Julie wasn't considered an enemy. She was just ditched for the safety of the pack.
"What about your brothers?" Julie smiled, laughing even.
"They wouldn't let me go alone. They left the pack on their own to take care of me, the baby of the family."
Dresden stared at her, admiring her more and more. She was more than just a pretty face. More than just a vulnerable, wolfless Were he had to look out for. She was more than just his mate. She was strong and protective and loyal. She was willing to risk everything - anything it took - to keep her loved ones safe. She was full of love and that love gave her true strength. He was nowhere close to deserving her.
He was filled with anger and hate. He was dark and sinful. He would have never made a deal with a witch. He would have suffered through it, dying with Rose and her pack. If he were in his old days, he might have even joined the all-Alpha pack in the killings. His wolf was rage itself and sin was always close.
He pulled her close, hugging her tightly. The thought of how precious she was made him want to do anything and everything - even make a deal with a witch - to keep her safe. He kissed her head, making an unspoken promise to her. He would never let her suffer again.
"You'll get her back." He told her, making a vow. "I'll make sure of it."
"How?" Julie pulled away, staring at him. Just the mention of getting her wolf back pained her. Her guilt was overwhelming. She killed off her own wolf that year ago. There was no way her wolf would be coming back. "I see her all of the time. I dream about her, I chase her. I hallucinate that she's there but I can never catch up to her. I can't get her to come back. She's gone, for good."
"No, that's not true." He took her face in his hands, staring at her eyes sternly. "Julie, she's in you. She never left. I can see it in your eyes. When you're angry or when you're defiant, she's hidden somewhere inside of you, showing herself little by little. You just have to make her come back."
"That's what my sister says." She whispered, giving him a small smile. Dresden, sighed, hating the fact that he and her sister agreed on something without knowing.
"Julie, she'll come. You just have to give it time." He said. "And please, do not go chasing after her in the middle of the day into the middle of woods. Not for a while at least." She laughed, nodding her head in agreement.
"I'm sorry." Dresden stood up and held his hand out to her. She hesitated for a moment and then took it, standing back onto her feet. He smelled iron in the air and growled, looking down. She followed his eyes and then bit her cheek nervously.
"Er, it's nothing, I'm sure." She attempted. He sighed and bent back down, taking her leg in his hands. She attempted to move away, her skin tingling from his touch and her nerves blowing up with the idea that his tongue would be on her again.
"Don't even think about moving." He threatened her, narrowing his eyes. She nodding, taking a deep breath, feeling stiff and awkward. The moment his tongue touched her skin, she jumped in surprise inhaling deeply. Goose bumps crawled up her leg, the warmth from his tongue making her shiver. The stinging from the wound make her wince but he kept her in place, continuing his work until it was licked clean. When he was done, he released her and stood back up. She shivered.
"It feels even more awkward than before." She admitted and he laughed, a real good laugh for the first time. She jumped back in surprise at the sudden outburst, amazed that he could laugh. Then she smiled, feeling warm from the sound.
She blushed, the idea that her Alpha's laugh made her feel warm and fuzzy scaring her. She shouldn't be crushing on her Alpha - not when he had a mate and she still possibly had one of her own. She looked away from him, worried that if she kept her eyes on him, she might start admiring him even more. He threw an arm around her and she tensed, feeling hot and nervous all at once.
"You'll get used to it. Let's get you home for now."
He led her through the woods, laughing and joking with her for the first time. He teased her and just talked to her - something he hadn't done since before the war issue was brought up. She felt an overwhelming sense crawl over her. She knew she had found a friend in Dresden, even if he was the Alpha. She had a hard time figuring out what made him so fearsome before. She knew he came off harsh at times and sometimes seemed almost cruel but that was a Were nature. He was Were. It was normal.
Truthfully, she knew she had found him attractive. She knew she found him to be supportive and caring and even protective. And now that he knew the truth, knew what she has done and what sin she has committed, now that she trusts him, she felt an overwhelming feeeling of ease. She knew she could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge her for it. She felt she could test his patience and even argue with him - if she felt in the right to do so. And for the first time in a long time, she felt happy.
She wasn't sure if she should be afraid of her new feelings or not.
Author's Note:
I just spent the last three hours (before writing this of course) watching Bonnie&Clyde on Netflix - a three hour film. I never truly knew their story but damn. Bonnie was crazy! Or so they protrayed her as. Even so, I totally get the reference of Bonnie&Clyde now. (Leave to me, who grew up overseas, to be late with that).
Also, one more thing. This chapter is dedicated to Katlovestoread for being the first person to follow me since putting up this story and for her lovely message. I haven't replied to it yet because I was writing and the only reason I know about it is because my phone updated me. But you have no idea how much that message has made my week. You have no idea. Between posting these chapters up, rewriting them from their original script (although its mostly the same), feeling anxiety from it and other things in my life - that message was truly, sincerely appreciated. It has boosted my confidence to the roof and it really motivates me. So thank you very much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was mostly a Dresden-Julie moment kind of thing so I think it's a good dedication chapter? haha. Either way, thank you, thank you and thank you. ( _ _ ) ----> That's me bowing down in thanks.
Now then - to the next chapter!