Shayba's P.O.V.
"So here's when I'll come...."I cleared my throat pretending to hold an imaginary microphone in my hand, "Reverend Chief guest Mr. Ban Akihiko, our honourable home minister A.K. Sinha, respected guests, revered teachers and my dear students, Assalamu Alaikum and wish you all a very warm evening." I announced the crammed part.
"Louder."Zawad Sir stated from aside.
I nodded and continued with my slides in the rehearsal. Some of my friends and the CRs are sitting in front of me judging my presentation as well as the tone of voice while Zawad Sir kept instructing me, "Mmhmm. Not so fast. Go slow."
"Got it."I did exactly as he advised. I am not used to be upon the stage. As I never once participated in plays in my childhood, neither sang nor danced, I was never used to have the spotlight on me. Well, except taking prizes for standing first in the examination. But today is different. I am going to handle a big task in front of national and international guests. That's a monstrous responsibility. I can't stammer, I can't tremble. I just need to be focused and jovial enough for my guests to give them a clear cut idea of this country and this campus.
"Shayba, come here." suddenly Zawad Sir called.
"Huh? Yes sir?"I walked to him pausing my rehearsal.
"Listen, whatever you are doing, is not up to the mark. You have to make it a bit more lively and communicative. You are representing the architecture department of the country's best university. So be a little bit upbeat, okay?"
"Yeah sir. I got this."
"Remember, as no one is going to see your face through this veil, if you proceed in the typical, mainstream way, it will be boring. Don't mind me but people want only visualized beauty Shayba. They are used to see pretty dolled up girls on the stage. As you are different, you have to use your brain to make it more brink and interesting. You understand what I mean, right?"
"Yeah sir."I replied, now being quite disheartened. The type of girls he is talking about, from no angle do I resemble them. But I don't understand, why would people need to see ME instead of the slides I'm showing?!
"Don't mind Shayba. Show them what you can do and what you've got in that brain."he said smilingly pointing his index at his head. "Show them how we got the silver medal in France. Now go. Do it again from the start."
Argh! Again?
I nodded and returned to my place. He is right. I need to show everyone that as a Muslimah, yes I cover my body and face but my brain is still in use. The world must know and learn to appreciate our contribution too. They must realize that all girls in burqa are not cornered at home without any opportunity of higher education.
I resumed from the beginning once again and after a whole long hour, the rehearsal was called a day. Alhumdulillah! Thanking everyone, I came out and prepared to get all other chores done.
And thus one week passed in a blink in exercising. We all have been quite skilled by now in our own sectors. At home, I practised standing in front of the mirror again and again regardless of Annaba and Bhaiya's unreasonable laughter. As I seriously didn't have time to altercate, I avoided them as much as I could. Anyhow I have to step out of my comfort zone to defend my prestige.
Today, being the first ever presentation of my life, I chose to wear my light cream pink abaya with a matching scarf. As I will be using this scarf to hide my face, so I don't need an extra niqab. I left using extra piece of veil ever since I went on that unlucky, omened picnic. I can't forget how embarrassed I was that day!
This abaya is one of my most favourite attires, so I took out my rose gold watch, bracelet and brooch to make my look a bit elegant tonight. After all, it's a grand event and I am not going to put any makeup on except my everyday lip balm. The tube of eyeliner was sparkling in my drawer enticing me to pick it up at once and smear it over my eyes. But I hardly resisted myself from doing that in fear of fitnah.
The time approached quiet quick in a hustle of work. After getting dressed and their makeup done, we three roommates walked to the open campus just like we did on our freshers' party. Except the fact that today I was wearing my cream pink wedge shoes instead of my precious elegant stilettos and a niqab in lieu of a bunch of face powder, primer and foundation. Padding the hoof, I laughed thinking about the change that came in me in just one year. Alhumdulillah! I'm so blessed to have such a transformation!
The ceremony started half an hour later the predestined time. As soon as the guests arrived, our two anchors- a girl in a green sharee and a guy in formal wear- announced the inauguration. And at once my heart began to hammer on my chest aloud as if informing the world about my nervousness. Waiting in the backstage to hear my call, I sat impatiently on a chair with other participants twisting the tassel of my scarf surreptitiously.
"Let me see. Who's going next?"Mizan sir suddenly entered in a rush removing the curtains with a view to supervising all of us.
"Sir currently the opening speech is going on. Next is the presentation." someone said in reply.
"Who's giving the presentation?"
"Assalamu Alaikum Sir. It would be me."I said lifting my right hand.
"You??!!?"his eyeballs almost dropped out, "Is this some sort of joke? Why you of all?? Where are the other girls? Nirzaaa!!" With my astonishment,I found him getting infuriated with his every sentence. What's wrong with my going there?
"No, sir. Why would I joke with you? I am going to present this." being startled, I gave stress on the 'I' making sure that the person is me, Shayba Ahmed.
"Do not even think of that!"he yelled, "You think you can go on the stage wearing THIS!? THIS!? Remove that bullshit from your face!!"
I gasped as the sky broke down upon me. The fault is with my dress?? Before I could protest, another stern voice appeared all on a sudden, "Other CRs are not prepared for it. If anyone can do this, it would be Shayba for sure, sir."
I swirled around to see Zawad Sir standing just two steps behind me and finally huffed in immense relief. At least he can explain! I eyed at him pleadingly to help me out of this unexpected issue. And he, probably for reading my mind, stood in front to defend me.
"Anyone but SHE can go! Have you seen her attire Zawad?! There is no way she can go on the stage like this! What will the guests say? They will think we oppress our girls to wear this and they have no freedom here! Why didn't you do anything about her all these days? Why didn't you eliminate her from the list? Were you out of your mind?!" Mizan sir shouted at the top of his voice. My eyes could hardly believe the gaze he threw on me as if I had been a vile, lousy object coming from a garbage. My eyes welled up at his gesture.
"Mizan Sir, trust me. Shayba can excel in this better than anyone else! Her pronunciation is great. And she is a smart girl. She can tackle any circumstances on the stage! There is no oppression we are talking about. Her promptness will answer that she just covers her body but not her brain!"
"Nope."Mizan sir shook his head in the negative not listening to any word of him. "As long as I am here, THAT girl cannot go out there." Before he could say something again to hurt me even more, I turned around suppressing the heartsore in my chest. I need to go and set someone else for this. Enough of this fuss already! It's okay if I can't do it. I'll be okay with it. But I can't be more humiliated listening to some nonsense about my dress!
But Zawad Sir blocked my way at once, "Where the hell do you think you are going?"he gritted,"Stand.right. here until I order you to move."
"Zawad bhai, it's alright. It's alright if I can't go up on the stage. You don't have to argue. Let me.... let me find someone else. PLEASE! Stop making a fuss now!" I said trying my hardest not to break down in tears in front of him, so hard that I didn't even realize what I called him just now.
"You stupid,"he hushed in utmost frustration, "Do you think I trained you all these days to give up in the end?! Huh? You think I'll let you leave now?"
I chapped my lips trying to speculate the situation in my head. What else can I do?!
"Where's the old Shayba who had my back in France? Huh? Answer me!"
I still couldn't reply. And then all on a sudden an announcement came from the stage calling for a brief presentation on our university and country, calling for ME to go to the dais at once. Zawad Sir calmly listened to it and then turned to Mizan sir again,"Sir please! Trust me. Let her go. I know, she can do this."
Mizan sir looked at me both with perplexity and disgust. It was evident that he didn't believe a single word Zawad Sir said but for Allah's sake, we are running out of time! Someone please take a decision! He stared at him for a while and then disparaged, "And what if she ruins it?"
Zawad Sir turned to me, this time his eyes piercing through mine. So intense a stare that I couldn't look away. He calmly spoke, "I'll take its full responsibility."
"What responsibility? After she ruins the whole program, you'll say sorry?"
"Argh for God's sake! Allay my salary! File a complaint against me! But Shayba is going now and that's final!" He screamed turning to him.
What is this guy saying!?! Is he out of his mind? Why is he doing this for me?!! My head began to spin seeing such a melodrama just before the presentation. I gasped as I have no idea what to do in such state. My legs seemed to shiver and hands to get cold. I can't stand like this another second. Please someone come and go to the stage immediately! Ya Allah! We are doomed. There's no one going to the stage yet!
I lost my chain of thoughts until Zawad Sir called me aloud,"Shayba!"
"Huh?"
He bent down his head to my level, "You can do this Shayba. I'm counting on you. Don't disappoint me."he stopped and looked through my eyes, "Please?"
I quickly nodded trying to gather some self confidence, "I won't."
He shook his head. "Good. Go!"
I nodded again in the affirmative and rushed towards the stage. I'm late!
The whole presentation seemed like a subconscious dream to me. It ended in a blink of an eye. I had planned out and practiced the whole thing so many times that everything proceeded smoothly according to it despite my inner disheveled state. I have given my best, trying to be as communicative as possible. In return, received quite a good response but I was only able to feel my surroundings when I came down from the stage after my performance. I have done it! Oh Allah, I seriously have done it! It's over!
I could see our guests and teachers clapping in frolic. Almost everyone wore a broad smile on their faces, at least as far as I could see, well except the face I searched for.
"You! Wait, come here!"I turned to the voice and saw our VC beckoning at me. With a slight reluctance, I walked to him and stopped, "Yes, sir?"
"Ahh look at me! I forgot your name!! It was ahhh something with..."
"Sir Shayba."I quickly lent a hand in his help so that he doesn't get embarrassed in front of the chief guest.
"Yes!! Shayba! "His expression beamed with a 100 watt smile as if he had known me very well which he clearly didn't, "We loved your presentation. Professor Ban was amazed! Haha! He was surprised to see Muslim girls like you so educated. Tell him that you don't face any problem here for your attire."he chuckled in a formal tone making me completely taken aback. And at once Shahriar Sir leapt forward with a flashy grin from the second row of chairs, "Professor Ban, you won't believe! This girl is a genius. She has CGPA 4 out of 4 in her first year! There's no way we can neglect her for such dress hehe!"
I stared being surprised only to find these three men awkwardly grinning at me. "Well done." Mr. Ban Akihiko stated in his broken English with his thumb up.
"Thank you sir."I threw an incongruous smile at him. And Then bidding them all farewell, rushed to the backstage instantaneously. Where is HE??? He is the one who taught me every trick and all these days he stayed late till evening in the university to make each and every part of my performance pitch perfect. If I need someone's compliments right now, it would be none but that damn teacher of mine.
But the backstage was deplete, not a single ant could be even found there. The lights were off and the curtains were pulled down. He didn't see my presentation?
While I was on the stage, never for once I had a glance of him. But I mused that he was in the backstage listening to me.
In a restless hurry, I searched for Zawad Sir literally everywhere in the offstage. But there was no sign of him. Where is he?! Other performers were starting to gather at the entrance of the stage now. And suddenly I started to feel hollow in my chest. He is nowhere to be seen. Did he resort without telling me? Did I perform that bad?
Everything around me just stopped at once at this thought. It took half a minute for the realization to dawn upon me that Zawad Sir has really left the show. And all of this has happened for me! I disappointed him, didn't I? My heart crumbled into pieces as eyes welled up once again.
Oh Allah, what am I gonna do? I desponded him. I am a disgrace! Why did not I listen to Mizan sir instead? Why did I act like a selfish jerk?! Now that guy has to pay back for my narrowness! It is so frustrating! What will happen to him now? What am I going to do now?? Argh!!! I felt like pulling out all the hair from my head in frustration.
I would have started to sob already if suddenly a familiar voice didn't appear. In the darkness behind the thick burgundy curtains, someone askedd with utter concern from abaft, "Hey, what's wrong?!"
I instantly turned in a reflex action. Zawad Sir! I hardly flickered back the tears that appeared by now but my previous expression was evidently written on my face. Since when did I become such an emotional wreck?! Why did you fall into a conclusion so hastily, stupid?!?
"Were you crying?!? Ya Allah, Shayba, what happened? Tell me!" He came nearer, "Whaaat? Are you gonna speak or what? Did anyone tell you something?! Or you are sick?"
"Nothing. I just.... thought..."I gulped hardly. I was never such an emotional fool that my eyes will brim over at every chance they get. Then why like an idiot did I come into a conclusion without even looking for him outside and then almost begin to sob?
What happened to you Shayba? What will you tell him now? That I thought you were gone and so I began to cry? Dumbass! Are you still a kid? Imagine what he will think!
I quickly collected myself, "Nothing. How did I do over there?" I began to sweat as I tried to hide my previous stupidity.
He stared at me suspiciously for some seconds, then nodded,"You were awesome out there." He added again, "Has anyone said you something to hurt you, Shayba? You are acting weird."
Argh! "No, nothing of that sort. Thanks. I gotta go."saying this, I quickly ran to the exit and headed towards the place where my friends sat.
But an unknown restlessness grabbed my attention for the whole program. I couldn't concentrate on the program, neither could I focus on Annaba's jabbering when I returned home at night. A fear of something Haram surrounded me which I kept denying countless times.
Today's events were incessantly playing in my head again and again. And what pricked me the most is that it didn't contain the whole program, rather contained one single person. All his dialogues were ringing in my ear. Each of his gestures was circulating in my brain. And the way I lost my nerve apprehending that he might be gone, perforated through my head.
WHYYY??? Just why????
Why did he take such a risk for me?
Why was he so concerned about my going?
And why.....does my heart palpitate so fast when I think of his actions?
Why am I only thinking of him???
I wanted to cry! I was never an emotional mess before. My brain always got priority over my heart, and it will continue to do so forever. No matter how many times my conscience wanted to point one evident thing out, I kept denying it in fear. And what I feared the most is if it was mutual a feeling. No! It can't be!
I wanted to scream out.
Looking into the mirror with frustration and anxiety on my disposition, I began self counselling which has always worked as the best cure for me.
Shayba you are a strong girl. And you are pious. Granted, your heart is betraying your personality right now. But it is mere infatuation, and nothing else! So stop worrying! It's Shaytaan provoking you. Now show the world how firm your belief is. Your love for your Creator is above anything else. You will never get involved with something which your Rabb disapproves of.
Then I performed ablution and sat on the prayer mat pouring my whole heart out to the Almighty. Time passed away without my cognition. As I thought and re-thought of tonight in my prayers, I didn't know how long I was in sujood until Annaba woke up at midnight only to find me still in the same place. She uttered anxiously, "Sis??"
I broke free from my subconscious mind realizing that it was late at night and I was still in sujood, my face was wet with a river of tears. I finished my prayer and got up to sleep, ignoring Annaba's stupefied stare at my swollen look.
"Are you alright?"she worriedly asked.
I couldn't reply as I fell asleep at once. My eyelids were heavy for this much weeping.
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Assalamu Alaikum and Allah Hafiz.. 😛 (For those who don't know, I have exams going on and I'm still on Wattpad😄)
And yes! If you think the story is going boring these days, I must tell you the proverb, "Before thunder, comes rain.😅" (Well obviously I made it up😝) So please be patient.
Another question. Don't you think my English is far better now than the first chapter?? Cz I believe it is..
Love.💙💙💙
@n⊙n¥M⊙u$
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