Italic - inner monologue
bold - past
bold italic - dream
Chapter thirty-seven - TO THE LIMIT
Later on (June 20, 2013)
By the time Justin got back home with Daniel, it was seven that evening and Solange was back. "Justin, I wanna do that again." Daniel spoke to him as he followed him further inside the house.
"We'll have plenty of times to record." When he entered the living room, he noticed Beyoncé and Solange sitting on the sofa. They immediately stopped talking when he showed up.
"Mommy!!!" Daniel ran straight towards her with his arms out. "Mommy, guess what?" He climbed on the sofa, wrapping his arms around her. "Mommy, Justin let me record."
"He did? You had fun?" He nodded quickly.
"Yeah. I got to play with the guitar AND the piano."
"He's a natural." He spoke up with a laugh.
"You hungry? Come on. Let's go make you something to eat." Solange spoke, standing to her feet with the little boy.
"Actually, Bee...you think maybe you could...take over?" Justin spoke to her. "I need to talk to Solange." She knew what this was about.
"Uhhh yeah. Sure." She stood up. "Come on, Danny." She held his hand, leading him out of the living room and towards the kitchen. Justin decided to take a seat on the sofa not far from Solange. This took a lot from him. Apologizing when he felt that he wasn't wrong. This was something he was used to doing with Beyoncé and since Solange is his sister-in-law, he KNEW he had to be the bigger person. The beef between them needed to cease.
"I want to..."
"It's okay." She interrupted him. He looked away to stare at her. She seemed different and he was curious to knowing the reason.
"Where did you go? We were worried. Daniel was..." He paused, gathering up his thoughts. The last thing he wanted to do was say something offensive. "I didn't mean to talk to you that way. Back at the hospital. I was just...I was emotional. I was angry mainly for Daniel's sake. Not saying that I personally wasn't worried about you because I was. I just wish you came to us and talked about it. Whatever you were going through. Instead, you just left. That's not setting a good example for your son. He's gonna grow up thinking he should just run away from his problems. You don't want that type of future for him, do you?" She held her head down, taking in the silence around them. "I don't wanna lecture you. I just want you to know that I'm here...Bee is here. We're here for you. You don't have to run away when you're having issues." She lifted her head to meet his gaze; her eyes filled with tears. "I know we've been through a lot. You punched me in the face. TWICE!" She laughed faintly. "I ain't gon' lie. I wanted to punch you back but...ahaha. I know it was done out of love."
"I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what was wrong with me. I think most of it had to do with the pregnancy. The hormones."
"Yeah, yeah. Use that as an excuse all you want. You just wanted to hit me. That's all." He teased. She laughed in response. "Seriously, I'm glad you're back. We all are. And about the pregnancy and all...so sorry. I wish it turned out differently."
"I wanted to keep her."
"Then why didn't you? Because the father isn't around?" Answering that question would have made her look even more stupid even though that was part of the truth. "I don't see Daniel's father around all the time. Does that mean you shouldn't love him? You gotta do what makes you happy. If keeping the baby was what you wanted, you shouldn't have given her up. You have family who would help you. Daniel's like a son to me. I love that kid to death. Makes me wanna have my own rugrat. But I don't know..."
"What's stopping you? You love Bee. You're married. I don't see the point of waiting."
"I don't think it's the perfect time for us. Being that we're so busy in our careers right now. But eventually...it'll happen. I'm getting SO much practice from Daniel."
"I think you'll be a great dad. You have the patience. You love children. I can see that. You will do good. You and Bee." A faint laugh escaped his lips.
"One thing I hate is a bad ass kid. I think I'm so patient with Daniel because he's a great kid. He doesn't cause any trouble. You did a terrific job raising him. You're a very important factor in his life and you shouldn't think otherwise. So next time you decide to leave, I'm gonna kick your ass. Just giving you a heads up." She rolled her eyes at him.
"I'm here for good. Trust me."
"You better be."
"Mommy look!!!!" Daniel ran inside the living room holding up something in his hand. "My tooth fell out!"
"What?" He handed her a small tooth that was in the palm of his hand. "Oh wow. It did. Did it hurt?" He shook his head no.
"You know what this means, right?" Justin stood up. "You gotta put that under your pillow for the tooth fairy. One tooth for five dollars."
"Five dollars?" His eyes stretched in surprise. "Cool!"
"That is cool. I only got a quarter for my tooth." Beyoncé spoke up.
"Let's go put that under your pillow." Solange suggested while standing up. The two headed towards the stairs.
"So..." Beyoncé took a seat beside him. "Is everything okay now?"
"Uhhh yeah. For now." He kicked his feet up, placing them on top of the coffee table. "What do you have there?" He asked, leaning over to peer inside a ceramic bowl in her hands. "Chocolate ice cream? Jesus Christ, woman. I thought you were in there cooking us dinner. I'm starving."
"There's food in there." She spoke simply while stuffing a portion of ice cream in her mouth.
"Okay. It's not gonna cook by itself." She immediately met his gaze with this stern expression on her face. "Oh boy." He sighed heavily. "Never mind. I'll order out. How's a pizza?" She watched him reach in his pocket for his cell phone. "An extra large meat lover's. Sounds great right about now. That and some...spicy wings."
"It does sound good."
Three days later (April 1, 2016)
Beyoncé laid in bed sleeping next to Justin. It was pretty cold in the room. The temperature was probably at least sixty-five degrees. Justin was freezing but Beyoncé on the other hand wasn't. Since she was pregnant, she was always hot and made sure to have the AC in the sixties while they slept.
Justin rolled over on his other side, facing Beyoncé who was passed out. He wasn't even in that position for a minute when he felt a hand hit him in the face. His mouth hung open in shock but why was he shocked? This was actually normal. She slept very wild. She was never aware of her surroundings. Almost every week, she would end up hitting him in her sleep and he would wake up to find one of her legs sprawled out over his body. Even though the bed was bigger than a king sized, she still found her way on his side.
They had to get their bed made a special size just for that purpose.
Then she wondered why he always woke up cranky. And the funny thing about it was that she acted as if she had no clue.
So now he was a bit angry. One, the room was freezing. Even the blanket he was under wasn't helping to keep him warm. And two, he couldn't get a decent sleep without being physically abused by his wife in her sleep. He got enough of the abuse when she was up and wide awake. It was like twenty-four seven for him.
Hours later (April 1, 2016) - 9:01am
Beyoncé sat at the table eating breakfast with the family. "I'm still hungry." She whined. Everyone looked in her direction in surprise. She had just finished a BIG plate of food which consisted of pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage links, biscuits, hash browns AND salmon patties. WITH a side order of grits and cheese. Now she was asking for more?
Her mother and Lynn worked together to make this big breakfast. The plan was only to make pancakes, eggs, and bacon but she requested all of the other foods. "Sweetie, there's not much left. There was mainly enough to put a plate aside for your husband but..."
"Well he can have cereal. He has his apple jacks up there." They watched her stand up, waddling her way towards the counter. She looked like she was ready to pop. It was a good thing she was being induced the following day because everyone was getting tired of her pregnancy hormones.
Justin finally entered the kitchen; his eyes gazing in on his family who was sitting at the table eating. "There you are." Lynn spoke up.
"Oh wow." A smile instantly formed upon his lips. Seeing the big breakfast put him in a better mood since he was very cranky from last night. "I am just so happy y'all are here. Mom one..." He spoke, kissing Lynn on the cheek. "...and mom two." He ended, planting a kiss on Tina's cheek. "It smells deeeelicious in here. So where's my plate?" Everyone slowly looked away to gaze at Beyoncé who was sitting at the table demolishing his food.
"Ummm, well about that...."
"There's some pancakes left."
"What?" His smile slowly faded. "You're telling me you didn't save me any?"
"Well I did." Lynn replied. "I mean, we did. It's just that..." She paused, scanning the bodies at the table. She didn't wnat to give out the culprit. Everyone seemed to be afraid of Beyoncé ever since she got pregnant.
"Eat the pancakes. We'll make you some more." Tina assured while standing to her feet. At the time, he was standing there hawking down Beyoncé. He knew she was eating his food. For one, everyone was basically done with their food and the first person who always finished their food was Beyoncé ever since the pregnancy. But she was the last one with a plate of food.
He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs. He rarely got to enjoy home cooked meals like this. And when he had the opportunity, it got ruined by his wife who was driving him up the wall. First it was---
No sex.
Then he had to deal with her bitchy behavior. On top of that, she had to have her way alllll the time. There was no point in arguing with her because she got the last word. It was always like that but it seemed to get worst after she got pregnant. He just wanted it to be over with.
"It's fine. I'll...I'm gonna step out. I'll stop by the diner."
"Can I go?" Daniel stood up, rushing towards him. "Please."
"If it's okay with your mother."
"Take him."
"Yay!!" The two headed out of the kitchen.
__________
"I mean, can you believe that fu..." Justin sat at a table in Carl's, a mom and pop restaurant a few miles from the mansion. They served breakfast, lunch and dinner and they probably had the best homemade biscuits in town. "I wake up and when I get to the kitchen, you think they'd have the decency to save me a plate of food? No!" He was venting to his best friend Trace again. "They're all so afraid of Bee. The only reason why I'm tolerating this shi..." He caught himself. Daniel sat across from him eating from a bowl of ice cream. "Stuff." He corrected. "Is because she's pregnant. She wouldn't have heard the last of it IF she wasn't. I know the baby is making her act this way so I try to ignore it but it's so fuc...frigging hard man. I swear, I just..." He held his head down, placing his hand over his mouth to muffle his voice. "You know when the last time I had sex?" He spoke inaudibly. "If I told you, you would laugh. You would shit your pants." He paused, gulping down a portion of sweet tea. "Probably during the whole pregnancy. So that's like...seven months without getting my dick wet. Well yeah. They're great and all but they're not the same as...you know." He kept his voice down as he spoke about this topic. "She sleeps like a frigging wild animal. You saw the size of our bed, right? She STILL manages to end up on my side of the bed and I don't know how. It's crazy!"
"Justin, I want some French fries." Daniel spoke up.
"Uhhh I don't think they're serving French fries right now. It's still breakfast." He stuffed a portion of pancakes in his mouth. "Mmm hmm. Yeah. Tomorrow. I can't wait. I don't think I'm knocking her up again. Ha. It's just been a nightmare."
After breakfast, the two made it back to the mansion. Daniel went his separate way as well as Justin.
About an hour later, Beyoncé met up with her husband who was busy cleaning the pool out back. He could have easily hired someone to do the job but he didn't want to. He thought it was unnecessary spending. Believe it or not, but he was pretty cheap to be a millionaire. He got teased about that all the time by his wife and friend, Trace.
"What are you doing?" He was standing at the edge of the fifth feet with a long tool collecting debris from the water when Beyoncé came out to "strike up" a conversation. But he knew she was just out there to start trouble.
"I think it's pretty obvious." She stood there holding her big belly as she watched him collect leaves and trash from their pool. "Is everything okay?"
"No." Why didn't this come as a surprise?
"What seems to be the problem now? Am I not cleaning the pool right? Or maybe I'm moving too slow." He spoke smartly.
"What's with the attitude?" And there it was. Her clueless behavior. She always acted as if she didn't know why he was pissed.
She watched him head towards the shallow end of the pool with the net, collecting more debris. He hadn't responded to her question so it was obvious he was ignoring her. He was pretty good at that and it ticked her off every time. His passive aggressive behavior.
Just fucking annoying.
"I heard you were talking about me." He laughed hilariously but that was all. Not one word from his mouth. "You think it's funny?" He hung the tool on the side of the fence and headed towards the sliding door. The best thing to do was leave before things got out of hand. "I'm talking to you."
"I'm sorry. That's what you're doing?" He asked while coming to a halt in front of the glass door. "It sounds to me like you're trying to pick a fight with me. I won't give you that pleasure."
"You ALWAYS do that!" She snapped. "I try to talk to you and you just walk away."
"You're not trying to talk to me. I can't believe that's what you THINK you're doing. You're NOT talking to me. You're talking DOWN to me and I won't accept that. I'm not gonna stand here and fight with you because you FEEL like picking a fight! We haven't had a decent conversation since I don't know when. All it's been all day, every day is Beyoncé. The princess. The diva. I understand you're pregnant and you're emotionally unstable. Your feet hurt. Your back hurt. You're ALWAYS hungry. That all comes with pregnancy and if I can remember, you WANTED this. You fought hard for this. We worked hard for this so don't turn this around into something else. Stop using this as a fucking excuse to FIGHT with me!" He raised his voice.
Her heart was pounding erratically at this point. She couldn't believe what had came out of his mouth. He must have been pushed to his limit because her rarely spoke to her like this.
"You don't stop to think about how this all affects me. What I'm going through. Having to deal with your whining and treating me like shit." Solange, Tina and Lynn stood not far from the sliding door watching and listening to the two fight. And they knew better than to intervene. "So I'm sorry if I'd rather walk away than deal with this shit." He turned, yanking the sliding door open. The three nosy women ran towards the kitchen to avoid being seen. He walked pass the kitchen and dining room towards the living room.
Beyoncé remained on the patio in tears.
By the end of the night, he was going to be the one apologizing because he felt guilty. It always happened.
Hours later (10:00pm)
Justin entered the master bedroom, automatically gazing in on Beyoncé who was laying in bed on her side watching television. He wanted to strike up a conversation but he didn't know where to begin. Well a part of him knew he would have to apologize for his behavior first before she would give him the time of day.
But he didn't want to. He never wanted to apologize when he wasn't wrong. He just did it to make her happy.
"Ahem, I..." He began, leaning back against the dresser. "I was talking about you. Earlier today to Trace. So I'm assuming Daniel told you." He paused, crossing his arms over his chest; his eyes glued to her. "I was just angry. I feel like you don't care about my feelings. I mean, since you got pregnant. You've been a different person and I know it's because of the hormones but can't you try to control them?"
He woke up out of the trance. That would have been a bad approach, he thought. Even though that was what he REALLY wanted to say. "I'm sorry." He broke the silence between them. "I'm sorry for talking about you. Mainly venting to Trace." He ambled towards her. "I really hate fighting. That's the only reason why I walk away. I try to avoid it. I'd rather give you space and let you cool off because fighting about irrelevant things is just asking for a divorce. Is that what you want? Is that the reason why you've been acting like this? You tired of me?" She finally met his gaze. "You angry because I got you pregnant? This is my fault, isn't it? The reason why you're so hungry all the time and uncomfortable. It's my fault so you feel that you should take it out on me."
"I feel like you're not being supportive." She spoke; her eyes forming with tears.
"And how? I think I've been a really good husband. I mean, if you look in the mirror and see what I see..." She slowly sat up, sitting directly in front of him. "You want me to be your punching bag. You want me to just stand there and let you mentally abuse me because you're miserable and you wanna make me miserable too. I get that. You can't help yourself. I know. So I try to do what's best. Which is walk away. I don't want you letting your emotions get the best of you. You'll end up making a decision out of the heat of the moment then end up regretting it. I don't wanna lose you. So I walk away. Don't get mad. You should be happy I think our marriage is worth that much." He reached out to touch her face. "You're gonna have this baby and you're gonna look back on this day and realize how STUPID the situation is. You'll see that it wasn't worth it. The fight." He sat up, taking a seat beside her. "So let's kiss and make up. Tomorrow we are going to finally meet our baby boy. That should make you ecstatic."
"I am. You have no idea." She peered in his eyes; taking in the silence around them. She did have it good. She had to admit. She had it too good that she felt the need to spice up their marriage with fighting. "I'm sorry for eating your food. I was so hungry and..."
"Just...shut up. You're not sorry. You were hungry so you did the right thing. I can't be mad. I mean, I was at first. I got over it. It's water under the bridge. No biggy." He reached out to place his hand over her belly. "Did you get everything ready? The baby clothes and yours..."
"It's all packed and ready." She placed her hand over his that remained on her bump.
"Are you scared? I know I am. And I'm not even the one about to push a big...human out of my crotch." She broke out laughing. "What? I'm being serious. You always turn things into a comedy show. I really am afraid. You remember that dream I had. It haunts me every day. A lot of women die during birth."
"I'm not gonna die. I mean, not yet."
"You promise? You better promise right now. Pinky swear." He held up his hand with his pinky finger pointing up.
"Justin, you're being ridiculous."
"Pinky swear."
"Ugh." She grabbed a hold to his pinky with hers, intertwining it together. "Pinky swear. Dork."
"Cross your heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in your eye." She laughed some more. "Do it. Cross your heart..."
"Justin, I'm gonna do more than that if you keep..." He laughed faintly while leaning in to kiss her. "Jerk."
"Ah boy." He fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "Just to think I'm...six weeks away from getting my dick wet again. The RIGHT way." She looked back to stare at him. He was laying there with a huge grin on his face. "I am gonna be a very happy camper." He added, shutting his eyes. "Happy camper, indeed."
"What do you mean the 'right way'? Are you trying to say my blow jobs weren't good enough?" He quickly opened his eyes, gazing directly at her. "Just like you men. Nothing ever satisfies you. I let you put your dick in my mouth AND might I add, taste your semen and that's how you repay me?" He sat up with this interesting look on his face.
"You...you ate my cum? After I TOLD you not to?" She didn't but she knew how this would affect him. "I can't believe you FED our son MY CUM! Are you fucking nuts? And for the record, you give mad blow jobs. They're probably THE best I've had BUT that doesn't change the fact that the vagina will always be number one." He stood up; in the process of removing his shirt. "Oh and seriously? You REALLY at my cum?" She stood up, making her way towards the bedroom door.
"I'm gonna go get something to eat."
"Okay. But wait a minute? What do you mean, nothing satisfies me? Your blow jobs satisfy me."
"That's not what you said just a minute ago." She pulled the door open, stepping out of the room.
"Bee!" He called, peering out to gaze at her. She was on her way down the hall towards the stairs. "Hurry your sexy ass back! We're not finished talking about this semen issue!" He wasn't aware that his mother was heading down the hall after leaving her room.
"Justin Randall Timberlake..." He quickly looked away to gaze at his mother who was ambling towards him. "Have you lost your mind?"
"Uhhhh..." He stepped back and shut the door. Just the coward he was. Afraid of conflict. Mainly with women. "Please don't knock on the door." He mumbled. "Please..."
A knock on the door got his attention. "Fuck." He muttered.
He wasn't going to open that door. He refused. So instead, he rushed towards the bathroom and entered it, making sure to lock it behind him. She would have had no choice but to leave once she realized he wasn't going to answer.
Fifteen minutes later
Justin pulled the bathroom door open completely nude. He stepped inside the room while running a towel through his wet hair. As soon as he stepped foot inside the bedroom, he noticed his mother and wife standing near the door just waiting for him. "Shit." He quickly used the towel in his hand to conceal himself.
"Boy, I changed your diaper...cleaned your shit and pee for years! It ain't NOTHING I haven't seen before."
"The hell..."
"That language right there is WHY you're in this position right now."
"Ma', what are you doing?" He glanced over at his wife who was standing there with her hand over her mouth, trying so hard not to laugh. "Bee?" He was actually looking to his wife for help.
"There are children in this house, Justin. You can't talk like that. I won't tolerate it. What if Daniel was around? How would you explain that to a little boy? A curious little boy who wants to know what the word 'semen' means? Huh?"
"You know what? Can I just...can I at least put on some clothes..."
"Stop trying to change the subject."
"What? Oh my god. This isn't happening." He mumbled, looking out of the bedroom door to see Solange walking by. She thought she saw Justin half naked in the room so being the nosy person she was, she quickly back tracked, stopping directly in the door way. Just as she thought, he was standing there with two hands over his groin being lectured by his mother. "Jesus Christ. Can you at least close the door. I'm naked here! You want everybody to see me?" They ignored him. "I swear, what the hell is wrong with women nowadays? Just...picking fights with people and..."
"Excuse me? Picking fights? You're gonna be a dad. You need to start ACTING like it. You can't shout out obscene things like that. Especially when there are KIDS in the house." This was going to be a long night.
He was actually HOPING for time to fly by because he couldn't deal with this any longer.